farewells

Carrie Fisher Comes Full Circle

4:33AM Seth | Forgive us. Forgive us Leia, forgive us Jabba, forgive us The Force—but this was the first thing that occurred to us watching Carrie Fisher plug her latest “I took lots of drugs and alcohol and married a gay dude” memoir, Enter Drinking (wait, that’s not it. Up, No Olives? It’ll come to us eventually) on the Today Show this morning. Seriously—how did this seismic, evolutionary species reassignment come to pass, and do the universe’s laws of equilibrium require that the slug-like crime lord now be cavorting by some Tatooinian resort pool in a bikini? After the jump, Fisher talks about taking acid with Cary Grant or something. More »

Ringo Starr Officially Hates You

4:00AM STV | You know how you’ve been writing, editing and rewriting your fan letter to Ringo Starr for the last decade, only to stand at the mailbox time and again, reeling at the note’s inadequate expression of how deeply his work and spirit have sustained you all these years, thus pushing you back to your desk for another few months of wistful, Proustian polishing? Believe us, we relate. As such, Starr’s disclosure Tuesday that he will neither accept nor return fan mail after Oct. 20 has lit an epistolary fire under our arse to finally put this thing to bed. It’s exactly what we needed — especially in the stern, slightly schizophrenic terms Starr bellows in his videotaped warning after the jump. More »