evan almighty
Producer Enlists Scary Hollywood Lawyer To Terrify ‘LAT’ Into A Retraction
5:05AM Seth | Last Sunday’s LAT ran a story about Ryan Kavanaugh, a 33-year-old middleman between Hollywood and the secretive and incredibly confusing world of hedge funds. They reported that Kavanaugh, a former dotcom financier with a long list of EP credits to his name, would sell the private investment groups on “slates” of movies, investing hundreds of millions in a dozen films at a time (to lessen the impact of any single stinker). Of course, this is Hollywood, where stinkers come in biblical proportions, and their investment quickly dwindled to barely the value of a concession stand Combo Pack. Now, armed with Scary Hollywood Lawyer Martin Singer, Kavanaugh is fighting back, claiming the entire piece was planted by his publinemesis Mike Sitrick, who is currently suing Kavanaugh for “allegedly mismanaging a multimillion-dollar investment.” More »
Box Office: Confusingly Qualified Fucking Box Office Records Are Coming
7:40AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s time to accept that Hollywood’s Fourth of July vacation is finally over and the rest of the summer awaits; try and put off daydreaming about your Labor Day hiatus long enough to review the US weekend box office numbers: 1. Transformers – $US67.6 million In a summer that has numbed us with the relentless shattering of domestic, worldwide, and box office records, we finally have a milestone absurd enough to make us feel something again: With $US152.7 million, Transformers can lay claim to the Biggest Six-and-a-Half Day Weekend Overlapping A Midweek National Holiday Ever (For A Non-Sequel). We’ll ignore that relatively unimpressive $US67.6 million figure, as the traditional three-day frame is a relic of a quaint time before studios realised that the length of a “weekend” could be manipulated to suit their marketing purposes. More »
Box Office: Moviegoers Find Rats In A Restaurant Surprisingly Delicious
2:33AM Defamer Hollywood | This Monday morning is no less painful than any other on the calendar, but at least you only have to survive 48 hours before you’re rewarded with a day off. Cling to the weekend box office numbers as you try to make it through the excruciating two days that stand between you and illegal firework displays, backyard barbecues, and egregious midweek drunkenness: 1. Ratatouille – $US47.227 million Another summer, another critically beloved animated feature that tops the box office on its opening weekend, extending Pixar’s years-long consecutive hits streak. But now that the studio has proven it can push to number one a movie with a premise as theoretically unsavory as filthy, health-code flouting rodents running amok in the kitchen of a French restaurant, they’ll seek a challenge that will properly tax their unparalleled hitmaking talents: development has begun on Crabs, the story of some misunderstood, but ultimately lovable, genital lice making their home in the overgrown pubic hair of a Hungarian prostitute. Summer 2009 opening weekend gross: $US53 million. More »
Box Office: All The Easy ‘Evan Almighty’ Headline Puns Were Used Up In Friday’s Poor Reviews
11:16AM Defamer Hollywood | As invigorating as an hourlong, cold shower following two sleepless days of binge drinking, your weekend US box office numbers: 1. Evan Almighty – $US32.112 million Many words have already been written to point out that Evan Almighty, The Most Expensive Comedy Story Ever Told, suffered a disappointing™ opening that fell far short of studio expectations, having failed to draw the, ahem, flood of Christians they so actively courted. More »
‘Evan Just All-Righty,’ And Other Underwhelmed Thoughts About The Priciest Comedy In History
10:26AM Defamer Hollywood | The weekend of reckoning has finally arrived for Evan Almighty, aka The Most Expensive Comedy Story Ever Told, an occasion marked by dozens of nervous Universal executives kneeling before makeshift shrines and praying that their religious marketing partners are going to deliver the arkloads of Christians they promised. And while the reviews have not been kind, they have most certainly been creative, taking full advantage of the movie’s biblical themes in trumpeting, amidst Almighty’s zoological bounty, the arrival of the summer’s biggest turkey. A smattering of memorable headlines: · ‘Evan’ can wait: Silly concept flick just God-awful [FortWayne.com/UPS] · Noah way! Slapstick of ‘Evan Almighty’ tempered by strong performances [KCChronicle.com] More »
Universal Ready To Knock Over Christians And Steal Their Collection Basket Money
8:31AM Defamer Hollywood | Demonstrating once again that invoking the sacred phrase “Passion of the Christ money” will help even the most committed of Hollywood heathens find God faster than a persecuted heiress marching towards her maximum-security Calvary Hill, Universal is contracting some Real Live Christians to help them sell Even Almighty, The Most Expensive Comedy Story Ever Told, to the “religious” audience. The LAT reports on how the studio plans to get arm-deep into America’s church collection boxes: To build interest in “Evan Almighty” among religious audiences, the studio partnered with Grace Hill Media, a local publicity and marketing firm formed to assist Hollywood studios bridge the religious divide with the country’s estimated 200,000 churches and millions of worshipers. Grace Hill’s Jonathan Bock came up with the idea of Ark Almighty.com, a website that houses craigslist-like message boards for 8,000 churches. It matches local needs with church resources, such as house painting and assisting the homeless. Grace Hill also set up screenings for religious organizations and distributed marketing and educational materials, including videos and movie-themed curriculum. More »
