euro correspondent

Some Important News From Defamer Australia’s Euro Correspondent

8:40AM Jess McGuire | It’s been a while between bulletins for our Euro Correspondent Will, and I like to imagine he has been keeping himself busy throwing himself wholeheartedly into the world of Schlagerpop and investigating potential representatives for next year’s Eurovision competition. I have asked him for an opinion piece regarding Kylie’s stylist/gay husband Will Baker’s recent claims that Madonna needs to let go of her youth and stop embarrassing herself with daft outfits, but while we wait for that gripping report, here’s some poptastic news from our hero. I’m not sure if you’re already on board with this but do you know about Marit Larsen? She is a Norwegian singer/songwriter who was in M2M (remember “Don’t say you love me” - – from the Pokemon soundtrack? Important key change around 2:39) and she has just released her second album The Chase – recently a number one album in Norway but tragically ignored everywhere else. She sounds a little Chipmunk-y to me, Willy, but go on. Educate my ignorant self! More »

Defamer Australia’s Slightly Belated Eurovision Wrap Up

8:59PM Jess McGuire | (Praise be! Euro Correspondent Will has just sent in the last part of his Eurovision coverage, a delicious wrap up of the final. As Bruce McAvaney might say, truly special stuff…) ON THE EUROVISION 2008 GRAND FINAL Please excuse my slight delay in filing this report but I am still feeling quite numb after what has to be the least deserved win in this competition since Estonia took it out in 2001. An ugly iceskater? Inexplicable gurning? A turgid, overblown ballad? These things, to me, are not ingredients for Eurovisional delight. Still, let’s look at it for a time perhaps: When this qualified for the final, it seemed fairly certain to win – people love Dima Bilan and they also love voting for Russia. So I can’t say I’m surprised. Moscow 2009 is not a terrible prospect and Russia do deserve success in this contest – just not with this song. I suppose they will host it well, given how badly they wanted it, and I always like it when countries win ESC that have never won before. REGARDLESS – this was all a bit of a downer and I am actually quite disappointed and confused as to what would motivate people to vote for such a celebration of all things ill-judged. Let’s accentuate the positive instead. More »

Eurovision 2008 Semifinal Report (Part Two – “The Bad”)

9:22PM Jess McGuire | (As part of our ongoing Eurovision coverage, penned with effortless brilliance by our Euro Correspondent Will, we proudly present Part Two of Will’s report on the second semifinal. Part one is available here…) THE BAD. 1. Malta missing out!! This is Morena with “Vodka”: I thought this performance had everything perfectly calibrated – mirrorball boots, a song about a drink enjoyed by citizens of most of the countries that seem to control Eurovision voting, cossack dancing, generally strong stage presence – but it was overlooked! I’m not really fussed but it’s a bit surprising that Iceland took and this one didn’t (though the French commentators noted that Morena “really annoyed” them). More »

Eurovision 2008 Semifinal Report (Part One – “The Good”)

8:19PM Jess McGuire | (As part of our ongoing Eurovision coverage, penned with effortless brilliance by our Euro Correspondent Will, we proudly present Part One of Will’s report on the second semifinal.) THIS IS OFFICIALLY GETTING RATHER EXCITING: Some half-baked notes on Eurovision 2008 Semifinal number 2 Now then. This semi was something of a litmus test for the new semifinal voting system (intended to prevent the regional bloc voting that has plagued the results of this contest during the past decade), and on the basis of the results, it seems to have worked to some extent (if “working” means “each of the 5 Scandinavian nations qualifying”). In fact I am EXTREMELY HAPPY with 80 per cent of the entries that qualified, if a bit surprised. This is a nice counter to my usual “IS THIS A JOKE” reaction to previous Eurovision semifinals, is it not? People will probably bitch now about how the Balkan voting bloc has been replaced by a seemingly all-powerful Scandinavian one, but being a gay fond of a key change and a wind machine, I am far more comfortable with a Nordic balance of power than a Slavic one. It is also worth noting that, as with the previous semi, one of last night’s 10 finalists was jury-selected, rather than voted through by the frequently moronic viewers. But we don’t know which one! SO WHAT HAPPENED THEN. I am so glad you asked. THE GOOD 1. Sweden qualified – thankfully Charlotte’s increasingly terrifying GIANT FOREHEAD OF DEATH didn’t put off the viewers too badly. The French broadcaster’s commentators I was listening to made a point of noting that Charlotte is a walking advertisement for aesthetic surgery, which seems a bridge further than Terry Wogan would have taken things. Oh it’s GOOD this song isn’t it! Look out for the laser spazz-out bit in the last minute. She is just a very strange looking woman. More »

Special Eurovision Report (Part Four)

7:19PM Jess McGuire | More AMAZING Eurovision commentary from our Euro Correspondent Will – ED GREECE TO WIN, THE OTHERS CAN PACK UP AND GO HOME NOW, or, MEASURED REMARKS ON THE FIRST SEMIFINAL FOR EUROVISION 2008 Here are my faintly hysterical thoughts on some of the finalist countries that qualified via last night’s first semifinal: 1. Greece! AMAZING! This little scamp is Kalomoira, a North American of Greek extraction who, failing to realise success in the music industry in the US and Canada, promptly packed her bags for the “land of her people” where she is a giant, if supremely irritating, star. Highlights of her campaign to represent her country so far include publicly alleging that the Greek national broadcaster ERT had sought to undermine her performance and chances of winning by providing faulty wind machines at the Greek national final (entertainingly, this resulted in Kalomoira being informed by ERT that she was not to give any more interviews without an ERT representative present). When I heard this song for the first time several months ago, my immediate reaction to a song called “My Secret Combination” was that the staging should involve a giant combination safe, which the delightful Kalomoira would have to be released from – perhaps by the dancers – USING HER “SECRET COMBINATION”. Oh, I entertain myself so. Anyway, I grudgingly admit that the presentation of this song was far better than anything I could have come up with myself. This was by far the strongest performance last night. Basically, Bitch. Tore. It. Up. This performance also contains the best dancing in a Eurovision entry that I can remember in the past 10 years. More »

Special Eurovision Report (Part Three)

12:39PM Jess McGuire | And more from our Eurovision Consultant! I really should have included the Andorran entry in my previous wrap-up – it’s Gisela with Casanova – a highly jaunty Europop ditty that harks back to the Eurovision of yore (ie before the tedious Eastern Europeans joined with their insufficently gay ethnic dirges). Tonight (European time) is crunch time for poor Gisela, who is being savaged as I type at the dress rehearsal for tonight’s semifinal, due to her poor costuming, by the bloggers at leading Eurovision website oikotimes.com, in the most humourous ESL manner available. To wit: Oikotimes on Andorra’s first dress rehearsal on 19 June: “Gisela and the Andorran delegation once again suicided on the Eurovision stage with their clothes, having in mind the mistakes they did the last years as well. … Now on my personal view, I don’t want this song to proceed because the presentation is insulting for my taste.” More »

Special Eurovision Report (Part Two)

12:08PM Jess McGuire | Continuing on from his passionate assessment of Sweden, our Euro Correspondent Will now takes on a couple more Eurovision entries… Next, we have Bosnia and Herzegovina. It’s Laka, with Pokusaj. See here: This is some rather entertaining socialist performance art isn’t it! They initially sought to have a live chicken on the stage but the EBU forbade it unfortunately. I am pleased to announce that I saw them do this live in London last month at the Eurovision promotional party and it was a definite crowd favourite. They are brother and sister too, Rachel and Sufjan Stevens style, which I always like to see. Anyway, I think you will find this bonkers and delightful. Also, you must have a look at France (after the jump). More »

Special Eurovision Report (Part One)

10:50AM Jess McGuire | One of the best things about having a Gay Consultant is that you are always well-informed regarding the careers of the Minogue sisters, and come Eurovision time, you are practically an expert on the Belgian representative’s patented knee-swing/the Moldavian dancers’ hotness/etc. We’ve turned to my personal Gay Consultant and Defamer Australia’s Euro Correspondent Will to give us all the lowdown on this year’s Eurovision – enjoy! Dearly beloved. The Eurovision week is upon us and the French are resultantly in a complete frenzy, if “frenzy” is to be understood as “a state of being faintly cognisant that something is in fact happening regarding a sing-off between 45 nations”. This time of year is so exciting for me and so I find the Gallic disinterest annoying and instead choose to engage myself in La Fete de Chanson de Trois Minutes in a more vigourous manner, akin to the ardour of the newer countries to the Eurovision fold, whose enthusiasm cannot be contained. For instance, DO YOU REALISE that this is the first year that Azerbaijan will be participating? Nothing more should really be said about that country’s entry, though, due to it being an appalling misreading of the Eurovision “brief”. It’s also exciting to welcome San Marino this year for the first time, a fact notable not so much due to their song but more because this is a tiny nation land-locked by Italy – who continue to refuse to participate in Eurovision after storming off in a strop several years back. More »