drink responsibly
My Friday Night Behaviour (Not Necessarily Listed In Order Of Occurrence)
12:00PM Jess McGuire | Well, not really. I think I only managed to cross off around 30 of the following things from the New South Wales Office of Liquor and Gaming’s list of signs of drunkenness over the weekend.
1. Slurring words
2. Rambling or unintelligible conversation
3. Incoherent or muddled speech
4. Loss of train of thought
5. Not understanding normal conversation
6. Difficulty in paying attention
7. Unsteady on feet
8. Swaying uncontrollably
9. Staggering
10. Difficulting walking straight
11. Cannot stand or falling down
12. Stumbling
13. Bumping into or knocking over furniture and people
14. Lack of co-ordination
15. Spilling drinks
16. Dropping drinks
17. Fumbling change
18. Difficulty counting money or paying
19. Difficulty opening doors
20. Inability to find one’s mouth with a glass
21. Rudeness
22. Aggression
23. Belligerent
24. Argumentative
25. Offensive
26. Bad tempered
27. Physically violent
28. Loud or boisterous
29. Confused
30. Disorderly
31. Exuberance
32. Using offensive language
33. Annoying or pestering others
34. Overly friendly
35. Loss of inhibition
36. Inappropriate sexual advances
37. Drowsiness or sleeping at a bar or table
38. Vomiting
39. Drinking rapidly
At times it appears to be in chronological order (overly friendly, loss of inhibition, inappropriate sexual advances), but then you see ‘vomiting’ followed by ‘drinking rapidly’ and you’ve gotta hope and pray points 38 and 39 don’t involve the same receptacle.au, More » 
