dork awards

Letter From The Editor

9:06AM Jess McGuire | Good morning, you gorgeous thing! How’s tricks? I just wanted to say sorry for the fact yesterday was rather quiet around here, save for Bank of America employees destroying U2’s ‘One’ and a collection of clips featuring people dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. I have a good excuse though! I had to BUILD MYSELF AN OFFICE (dudes, this involved hammers and nails and screwdrivers and a confusing piece of paper with instructions that included “tap tap” next to a picture of a nail but then voila, several hours later a desk appeared in my room) for my BRAND NEW COMPUTER (which I will be paying off until the end of time with a pound of flesh each month). I am pretty much as excited as this kid - - or any of the other somewhat annoying screamy children showing off for the camera on Christmas Day who have gone on to become “hits” on YouTube at the moment. This is a good thing for you, people, because no longer must I battle daily with a computer that turns itself off whenever it feels like it/restarts apropos of nothing/decides that YouTube is forbidden/cuts out sound sporadically/takes as thousand years to do anything/has a mouse that moves in the opposite direction to where I’m trying to direct it making me frustrated to the point of tears (and also, suddenly fearful of ever developing Parkinsons)/generally fists itself for a lark. NOW I CAN JUST GIVE YOU GOODNESS! ALL THE TIME! Speaking of goodness, see what our clever tech fellows put on the bottom left hand corner of the screen? A wee button that takes you straight to the voting for Best Gossip Blog at those awards I was telling you about! Thanks to your sweet little clicking, for a very brief moment Defamer Australia actually came within four votes of Perez Hilton. Then America woke up and began voting, and the humiliation began. But we’re the only Australian site in that category so get patriotic and vote (it takes two seconds) – and remember, you can do it once a day. Alright, I have a lot of writing to do for you so I’m gonna go now. But know you’ll forever be in my heart. x More »

Letter From The Editor/HOT NUDE PICS

1:46PM Jess McGuire | Good afternoon, devastatingly attractive readers. Do you remember back in November when I was all “Oh hey, there’s this competition and you can nominate people for like, Best Australian Blog and heaps of other stuff!” and then I played it reeeeeaaaaal smooth and coy, and sort of went “Maybe you should vote for Gizmodo AU or any of our other great sibling sites?” but secretly I was hoping you’d nominate Defamer Australia for something, anything, thus vaguely justifying my existence to my superiors? Well, some of you DID nominate Defamer Australia for assorted things, and strangely enough we now find ourselves going head to head with the likes of the almighty D-Listed AND Perez Hilton AND The Superficial AND heaps of other giant blogs. ARE YOU SURE IT’S NOT THE AMERICAN DEFAMER WHO IS UP FOR THIS EXTREMELY GLAMOROUS PRIZE? Dude, I know what you mean. I checked – Santa stylez (twice). It’s really little ol’ Defamer Australia up there against the big guns. Think of this competition as the Melbourne Cup, and running alongside the track is a three legged dog which was hit by a car a few months beforehand and has never been quite right in the head since and actually thinks it’s a horse, and even though it has no chance of catching up to the thoroughbreds, it just keeps on running… stupidly… occasionally tripping and stopping to eat the grass in a confused manner. DEFAMER AUSTRALIA IS THAT RETARDED THREE LEGGED DOG. Anyway. I dare say we’re going to get rudely fisted by Perez Hilton, but ideally I’d like to reduce that to an impolite fingering. So if you have literally twenty seconds (honestly, reading all of these carefully put together words was way harder than the actual voting process) then please go here: BEST GOSSIP BLOG - and vote for Defamer Australia. My bosses would really like it if you did, and I’m hoping that not coming last will give me some kind of geek cred. HOPEFULLY YOU CAN EXCHANGE THAT FOR SECOND LIFE DOLLARS!!!! LOL TOTEZ!!!! Thanks. Now let’s get back to pop culture nonsense around these parts. x PS: My friend Ryan just put it beautifully – “you’re losing pretty hard, but I did my bit!” I can’t tell you how many lovers have said similar things to me. PPS: Here are your hot nude pics. PPPS: OH! And Gizmodo AU is up for Best Australian Blog – as is Clem “Clam Bestof” Bastow’s ladyblog The Dawn Chorus! Vote for either/both of them here. More »