· We leave you today with a Defamer PSA emphasizing the perils facing anyone who dares so much as hint at the irrelevance of Dolly Parton. [NBC]
· Credit where credit is due, even if it goes to Tom O'Neil: The awards freak changed his Dramatic Emmy prediction for best actor to Bryan Cranston last Friday. [Gold Derby]
· Whoops! We take it all back: O'Neil actually bothered to report that Ricky Gervais and Steve Carell prearranged their Emmy "stunt" before the broadcast. [Gold Derby]
· Because three Tyler Perry films per year aren't enough, the filmmaker/mogul has launched a new shingle to develop movies for both other directors and new, alternate actors who can play Madea. [Variety]
· Warner Bros. lost its litigious warm-up for next year's Watchmen trial, failing to convince an Indian court that the film Hari Putter: A Comedy of Terrors infringed on its Harry Potter franchise. [NYT]
· "The vomit shot out of Megan Fox like water from a geyser." Being a little hard on Diablo Cody's dialogue there, aren't you, John Horn? [LAT]

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What do you call a party with a huge proportion of women with huge proportions, bleached blond hair and garish makeup? If you picked: "Just Another Night in Hollywood," or "Just Another Night at the Strip Club," or "Just Another Night in My Bedroom," take a number and go to the back of the line. Rather, the party in question —held at the appropriately named World of Wonder gallery on Hollywood Boulevard— was for a very specific, large-proportioned, bleached-blond beauty. No, not Jenna Jameson. This would be someone with actual talent, not to mention a huge gay following. OK, fine, I'll tell you. Dolly Parton!

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Though 9 to 5: The Musical recently opened at the Ahmanson here in Los Angeles, the first public performance wasn't exactly glitch-free. At one point, two automated set pieces got stuck, prompting an impromptu curtain to come down for thirty minutes while technicians fixed the problem. Sound like a disaster? Not quite, since Dolly Parton herself leapt from her set to entertain the crowd, singing impromptu versions of "9 to 5" and "I Will Always Love You." Of the latter song, she cracked, "OK, so I don't sound as good as Whitney, but I make more money off that song than she does." Dolly, you'll make even more money off 9 to 5: The Musical if you can promise a shutdown like that every night. Clip above. [WoW Report]

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It seems Papal fever is still infecting the editors and photo editors of our country's fine digital newspapers! They just can't get enough of that sweet, sweet Catholicism!

Reader Daniel forwarded us The Age's 'Entertainment News' e-newsletter, adding, "You know, when I think of Broadway musicals and Dolly Parton, my mind also goes immediately to the Pope."

This is what he was referring to:

You know, people will say this is just the photo equivalent of a typo, but I think there's something deeper happening here - I get it, Benedict looks just like Dolly!

Top work, The Age! Keep up the Catholic cats!

We really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response:

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We were all set to unleash a can of eye-rolling whup-ass when we read this morning that Australian American Idol contestant Andrew Johns (you know, the one they said would win it) had evidently not won the talent quest - but then we got all excited on his behalf because it looks like a duet with Dolly Parton could be in the works!

Defamer Australia are massive Dolly fans, so we feel a mixture of excitement and raging jealousy on behalf of Johns.

A few hours after the jaws of American Idol's 30 million TV viewers dropped to the floor when Johns was asked to leave, his own idol, country singer Dolly Parton, called his mobile phone.

"There was a voice on the phone and it said 'Michael, this is Dolly'," Johns, a guest on US TV talkshow Regis & Kelly recalled.

"She said 'You have a great career ahead of you and I'd like to write with you and maybe do a duet'."

For once we're glad join the Aussie press in making sure we all see an Australian fail!

National treasure Dolly Parton, who only recently acted as unwitting guardian angel to a seemingly hopeless American Idol contestant, has postponed her upcoming tour for back trouble caused by years of supporting her trademark rack. It's perhaps a slightly risqué topic for a family wire service like Reuters, but we think their headline tackles the material with just the right amount of tact. The breasts had no comment.

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