disappointments
Flotsam & Jetsam
Photos Leak Of Jessica Alba At Meeting Of Yale Secret Society
3:28PM the cajun boy | About an hour ago a tip came in featuring the following subject line: “Jessica Alba Visits Yale Secret Society, Pictures Leaked!” Whoa! The “Wolf’s Head Society!” Oh hell yes! Let’s take a look, shall we? More »
The Today Show Spreads Some Christmas Cheer
4:35PM Jess McGuire | Reader Luke sent me this video – it is amazing and hilarious and completely heartbreaking.
Currently on the Today Show, there’s a competition involving some BIG CHRISTMAS PRIZES. In order to win, you need to register with the show, and if you get a phone call during the program, you must answer it within five rings with the words “I wake up with Today” and then Channel Nine’s breakfast telly stars Lisa Wilkinson and Karl Stefanovic will give you the prize, and oh! Oh! What a happy day!
Not such a feel good segment if you fuck it up, however. Take this morning’s on air tears as a nice example.
We’ve been on since 5:30am, bitch! Get with the program!
Poor, poor woman. Still, Karl’s going to whack together the best damn hamper he can for you. That’s nearly as good as a prize worth $20,000?
Thanks for the tip off, Luke!
UPDATE: ARGH! It seems the video has been pulled! WHY? It’s the feel good moment of the year! I’ve still got the YouTube page open from earlier today and can still watch it, over and over, and I’m never closing that window again.
UPDATE II: All seems to be well, it was just some temporary insanity. Revel it the goodness! More » 
Richard E. Grant Uses His Time As An Idol Mentor To Reveal Some Hard Truths To Contestants
2:21PM Jess McGuire | It’s all very good and well for Australian Idol to ship in token mentors each week who are concerned with attempting to flog tickets to something and/or boost record sales, but where are the mentors willing to paint ugly but factually correct pictures for our would-be Idols, huh?
Thank god for Richard E. Grant then, who has used his brief time with our Australian Idol contestants to hammer home a bitter truth – for most of them, their time in the spotlight vaguely entertaining a nation will be short, and then they’ll end up collecting aluminium cans, jamming them in the back of a hatchback, driving to SA, and selling them in order to purchase a tent for a home. FACT.
Describing the talent quest as “brutal” and a fast-food approach to fame, the esteemed English actor slammed the series for making then breaking dreams.
In yet another PR blow for the show, Grant predicted a poor future for the finalists he was asked to teach the secrets of movement and projection.
More » 
Is Ruby Rose Destined To Be Used By Experimental Girls With Boyfriends For All Eternity?
3:23PM Jess McGuire | I have been very open about my desire to see Jess of The Veronicas ditch her ridiculously pretentious rock’n'roll boyfriend Azaria (from the band formerly known as The Follow and now apparently known as theArt – you may take a moment to furiously vomit blood upon reading that, if you like) in favour of MTV VJ – and, more importantly, Jess’ favourite same-sex pash partner – Ruby Rose. But you know what? If things can’t work out between Jess and Ruby Rose, then I just want Ruby Rose to be happy.
So when I heard she’d been stepping out with another young hot lady, this time Samantha Downie of Australia’s Next Top Model fame, I was pleased for her. But what’s this? The hottie has a boyfriend and her experience with ladytime has been filed under Drunken Fun? And her appearance on the arm of Ruby Rose won’t be resulting in a Lohan-Ronson like relationship?
This feels like deja vu, people.
She kissed a fellow Australia’s Top Model contestant on a wild night out, but despite turning up at a star-studded party with openly-gay MTV presenter Ruby Rose, Samantha Downie has no plans to do it again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Still…. tell us more, Daily Telegraph gossip gurus! More » 
How To Improve The Glow Festival: Try Adding More Glowing Things!
3:45AM Defamer Hollywood | I had been looking forward to Glow all week and arrived at the Pacific Palisades Park giddy with anticipation. Perhaps, though, I should have taken this overheard comment as a fair warning: “Omigod,” said a girl as she passed me by Saturday night, “Nothing is glowing.” More »
Nollsy: “I’m Not A Pisshead, It Was The Meds! The Meds, I Tell Ya!”
1:45PM Jess McGuire | Bloody hell, Shannon Noll’s still carping on about his disastrous performance at the CMC Rocks The Snowys concert a month ago.
Shannon Noll has blamed antibiotics for a ramshackle concert performance in Thredbo last month, which led to criticism of the Idol star.When he appeared at the CMC Rocks The Snowys festival, Noll was accused of slurring his way through his set.
The singer has revealed his embarrassment about the performance, saying he was on antibiotics at the time and misjudged the effects of mixing three beers with the medication.
“I had a bit of a shocker,” Noll said. “I was particularly disappointed in myself. I got a throat infection – so I was on some pretty solid antibiotics. Had the normal couple of beers – three beers – before I went on. I got out there and five minutes later, whoa … but that’s no excuse. I’ve definitely got to win back some trust.”
Interestingly, Shannon’s original apology for the incident made no mention of antibiotics.
In a statement to The Telegraph late today, Noll said: “It is with great regret that I acknowledge, by my actions during my performance on Saturday night, that I have disappointed my fans, the organisers of CMC Rocks The Snowys, and my band. I apologise unreservedly.
“As a result I am taking the necessary steps to ensure that it never happens again.”
Did it take him a month to remember he was on meds? Is forgetfulness, along with the irrepressible urge to bang on about how proud you are to be a country boy, another side effect of these mysterious drugs? Wonderful! We’re gonna have to get our hands on some in time for the weekend… More » 
Brace Yourselves, Ken Done May Need To Start Painting Again
3:21PM Jess McGuire | We have such fond memories of artist Ken Done, you know? A man not afraid of a bright colour, he was the brains behind some of our favourite curtain designs at our childhood holiday home in Shoal Bay. So we are saddened to hear that things are not going all that well for Ken.
The artist behind some of Australia’s most colourful images, Ken Done, may have to return to painting the harbour and cuddly koalas after losing three-quarters of his personal fortune due to what he claims was bad financial advice.
Done, 67, who painted the widely recognised and colourful depictions of Australian life, is suing the financial advice arm of the Commonwealth Bank for $53 million after his nest egg was whittled away on risky loans and stakes in untested and little-known companies that ultimately failed.
In a case that will have its first preliminary court hearing today, he claims that had the advisers invested as he said over the four years from 2001 to 2005 he and his wife, Judith Done, would now have a trust fund worth $61.5 million. Instead he has been left with just $8 million.
Still. $8 million from this kind of stuff -
- seems like a pretty good deal, in our uncultured eyes. More »
When You Can No Longer Depend On Shannon Noll Delivering A Mind-Blowing Live Performance Everytime, Life Just Doesn’t Seem Worth Living
12:26PM Jess McGuire | Condo’s favourite whore-dabbling rocker son Shannon ‘Nollsy’ Noll has offered an apology to punters who suffered through his “emotional and exhausted” (that’s the official term for celebrity off-chops behaviour, right?) appearance on stage during the CMC Rocks The Snowys concert Saturday night. After Confidential were informed by a displeased gig attendee that Shannon’s time in front of the microphone was “so appallingly bad it wasn’t funny”, Shannon Noll has admitted his mistake and begged for forgiveness, pledging to seek help for shit showmanship. More » 
