Briefly in the scurrilous gossip magazine rumours department, we bring you news that will surely be devastating for all of you out there: Bec Hewitt is not, I repeat, not pregnant.

How do we know? The Hewitts' manager David Drysdale wants us all to go stand in the naughty corner.

"I'd be one of the first to hear about (a pregnancy)," he said.

"(The rumours) are pretty disappointing."

David would be really disappointed if it turned out Bec was with child, and he wasn't one of the first people they told, wouldn't he? Talk about setting yourself up for a fall!

Anyway, the hopes of a nation - i.e. that another bum-chinned heir to the cashed-up-bogan crown would be provided - will have to be iced for the next little while. Damn you, Woman's Day!

We wanted Cashmere Mafia to blow us away with wit and brilliance, truly we did. There's nothing we like better at the beginning of the year than discovering a gem of a show we can get obsessive about, leading us to cancel important social engagements in order to ensure we're sitting in front of the small screen at the same time each week, desperately craving another hit from the televisual bong.

After learning of Cashmere Mafia last year (a result of our incredibly pointless search for Frances O'Connor), we did express some reservations about the show's name, muttering in a concerned manner "We're glad to see two charming Australian actresses have been gainfully employed, but... Cashmere Mafia? Why not just call the show Labia and get it over with?"

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We told you Natalie "Greedy Use Of Consonants" Bassingthwaighte was in the running to host the Australian version of So You Think You Can Dance, well, turns out she's snared the gig.

Read on while we stroke our double-barrel and mutter "soon, soon..." have a little sook.

As an accomplished actress, rock-chick and musical theatre performer, Bassingthwaighte is perfectly poised to host the anticipated series - one of Ten's biggest offerings for 2008.

Joined by judging panel Bonnie Lythgoe, events guru and choreographer Jason Coleman and dance talents Matt Lee, Bassingthwaighte kicked off the show's national auditions in Adelaide yesterday ahead of grooving into Sydney on November 3 and 4.

The very thought of Natalie "grooving" into anywhere is enough to make us seethe with rage.

All we can hope for now is for Rhonda "Rooter" Burchmore to make as many appearances in the guest judges' seat as humanly possible, before whipping off her suit to reveal a spangly outfit and taking everyone through a rousing tour of the Ann Miller songbook.