dirt sandwich
Welcome Clay and Lindsay, Your 2008 Gay Homecoming Royalty!
9:35AM STV | Forget it — we’re not even bothering with happy hour tonight. We’re going straight for our Dirt Sandwich, a heaving helping of all the entertainment news and scandal that’s fit to consume from the busy week behind us. This episode features the uniquely robust flavor of Clay Aiken’s truth and consequences, the savory zing of Lohan/Ronson revelations, and a soothing aftertaste of Emmys, Dancing with the Stars and swimsuit legend Sarah Palin. How about some extreme face time with Joe Biden? Hungry yet? Fine — you can have the whole thing, crafted from scratch by Defamer’s resident video-delicatessen wizardess Molly McAleer. Bon appetit! More »
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Star’s Chimp Romance Exposed!
8:30AM STV | We don’t know about you, but were starving. And nothing hits the spot at the end of a grueling week in the mines like a Dirt Sandwich, crafted with loving, homemade goodness by Defamer videographer Molly McAleer. This serving is stacked high with homoeroticism, slathered with Blonsky sauce, dashed with a hint of Sarah Palin and squeezed between two hot slices of Mario Lopez. Garnish with a sprig of Ellen Pompeo/primate-makeout mystery, and serve hot! Now that’s living. And because we’re generous like that, we’ll even share a bite after the jump. Enjoy! More »
Did Sarah Palin Make Her Husband Wear a Wedding Veil?
10:25AM Defamer Hollywood | Being a celebrity is hard work — just ask the Republicans! Though they’ve long claimed to eschew stars, they now have one of their own in Sarah Palin, and the newly minted veep candidate has so much drawing power that she’s even crossed over into the world of celeb-focused tabloid television. That bizarre intersection of politics and Hollywood gossip offers a lot to chew on, and so does today’s Dirt Sandwich, packed full of delicious ingredients by our intrepid videographer Molly McAleer. Move over, Matt Damon — stars like Meg Ryan, Eva Longoria Parker, and Annette Bening all want a piece of the Palin action! As for the indomitable Cloris Leachman, she may say she’s obsessed with John Stamos, but we can tell that what she really wants to know is, “Did Sarah Palin’s husband Todd actually wear a wedding veil?” For the answer, let’s go to the tape! More »
Lipo in Sixth Grade? Hey, Why Not!
10:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Now that those exhausting political conventions are finally over, we can get back to the issues that really matter to hardworking Americans: sex addiction, huge breasts, and plastic surgery! That’s right, it’s time for another installment of Dirt Sandwich, prepared by Defamer videographer (and viable third party candidate) Molly McAleer. What’s her platform, you ask? Why, it’s to make sure that ordinary people have access to both universal health care and celebrity clip montages. After all, when that phone rings at 3AM, we need a candidate who knows how to deal with Jennie Garth’s dramatic 10-pound weight gain, not one who’ll have to learn about it on the job. That’s the kind of experience you’ll be getting from Molly McAleer on Day One — won’t you cast your vote today? Jump! More »
Deep Inside The Celebrity-Filled Sex Club To The Stars
5:31AM Seth | As we wind down this half-day of posting before your Labour Day weekend—summer, she’s nearly gone!—we thought we’d pack a little picnic basket for your beach retreats. Can you guess what the main course is? Of course you can! A delicious Dirt Sandwich, lovingly prepared by Defamer video lunchlady Molly McAleer (”One Jell-O per student, buster!”), and full of all the things you love: Mystery plastic surgery mummies! Celebrity sex clubs! American Idol judges in airborne vehicles frequently associated with fiery, accidental deaths! Just promise us you won’t go in the water until a good half-hour after consuming. [Watch Video] More »
Buh Bye Frappuccino! How Britney Got Back In Shape
10:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Though we may go back and forth on whether we want our MTV, one thing we can all agree on is that we want a Dirt Sandwich. Like your favourite music channel in its heyday, it’s packed with pop stars (Britney! Sanjaya!), celebrity antics (Bill Murray skydiving) and even the occasional bit of sobering news (Christina Applegate’s mastectomy). And that whole “quick-cut MTV editing” thing? We got that, too. Sit back, put down your remote control, and let Molly McAleer take you on a psychedelic trip through the world of celebrity infotainment that would make even a Radiohead video seem banal. And if you don’t watch? Katherine Heigl is gonna point and laugh at you. WATCH VIDEO More »
TMZ Thinks That M. Night Shyamalan ‘Sucks’
9:20AM Mark Graham | Welcome to another installment of Defamer’s Dirt Sandwich, our weekly romp through the perilous wilderness of tabloid television. Each week, we task Molly McAleer with culling through close to a dozen hours of television to bring you, the loyal Defamer reader, the best two minutes of hilarious hyperbole that came across the airwaves. This week’s episode does not disappoint, as diverse topics like Bernie Mac’s death, Tropic Thunder’s RetardGate and Manoj Night Shyamalan’s public perception woes are covered. So while we’ve got you, why don’t you take a bite and enjoy all the savory salaciousness you can handle. Bon appetit! More »
Shocker! Katherine Heigl Wants A Baby, Whether Joshua Is Ready Or Not
9:15AM Mark Graham | Ah yes, the dog days of summer. These are the kind of days where nothing sounds finer than sitting ’round the backyard with a few of your closest chums, tossing back a few cold ones and firing up the grill. But this weekend, instead of cooking up some Hebrew Nationals and a few burgers, might we suggest that you bring all the fixins for a nice Dirt Sandwich instead? The ingredients are pretty simple, and you can’t beat the calorie count: all you need is an internet connection, a computer and an internet browser that’s pointed right here. If you have a laptop computer and a WiFi connection then, well, that’s even better. Gather your friends round the warm light of your computer screen and click play. Because nothing says summer time like topless supermodels, a John Stamos marathon make out sesh and Katherine Heigl’s continued emasculation of her husband Joshua. Enjoy! More »
Where Were You When the Quake of ‘08 Hit? (Don’t Answer That, Mark McGrath)
9:00AM STV | When the city shook this week, scattering whole herds of TV paragons from their studios in bug-eyed panic, one institution stood firm: Dirt Sandwich. Better yet, the week’s greatest hits in entertainment news saw it all, from Billy Bush’s pants-soiling to Mark McGrath’s penultimate humiliation as the outgoing host of Extra! to the seismic justice rocking Judge Judy’s courtroom. And when the Earth stilled, there were Elizabeth Taylor and Miss USA (among others) to give the aftermath a touch of awkward class. Yes, behold Dirt Sandwich, as assembled by noble Defamer videographer Molly McAleer — monolithic, omniscient, sturdy and altogether delicious. Take a bite, won’t you? More »
