Seems like the newly reformed Spice Girls have chosen to slip on their giant platformed sneakers and stomp around the globe leaving carbon footprints to rival Madonna's with news emerging that the lasses plan on flying from show to show in a private jet each.
The Spice Girls' much-hyped reunion tour this year will be shadowed by five private jets, it has been revealed, just in case any of the old rivalry should spill over again.
Rather giving the lie to the happy talk of reconciliation and camaraderie at the launch of the tour, record label Virgin will lay on a quintet of Lear jets big enough to carry each of the Girls' entourages, not least their seven children and collective nannies.
We can't blame the girls for wanting to chillax during their travels without having to hear Mel B natter on and on about Eddie Murphy ("Wot's he liiiike, then ay?") or line up for the toilet every time nature calls because the heavily knocked up Emma Bunton can't keep her legs crossed for more than five minutes before needing to find a lavatory quick sticks, etc.
We enjoy this particular bit of brutality in the article.
Fearing the ravages of time on what little talent the Spice Girls previously had, their vocals will be broadcast via computer software that will correct any bum notes in less than one-tenth of a second.
Are they insinuating that perhaps, just perhaps, the Spice Girls are not a posse of vocally skilled feminists with a sharp sense of fashion and keen business acumen?
Under the format, A-list celebrities from around the world including Elton John and Robbie Williams in the UK and P Diddy and Mariah Carey in the US, ask questions of the girl band during live crosses.
Our imagination has already run wild.
Robbie Williams: Where's my career gone? Can I have that Red Bull in your rider?
P Diddy: (waving arms in air) Spice Girls, Spice Girls! We love you! We respect you! CAN YOU TAKE US TO THE BRIDGE?!