Old-timer Big Brother fans would've been thrilled to see the nation's favourite hairdresser and fan of "intimate wash" pop up on Australian Idol the other night. However, the pint-sized firecracker was not there to sing, but to support her boyfriend Sebastian Pluchinotta - and what happened next was typical of the show's increasingly dodgy "direction". To wit, Dicko and Kyle were not satisfied that Pluchinotta was straight, and made him sing his chosen song directly to Vesna's face; Dicko then mock-stormed out, evidently in protest of the massive amounts of gaydar his antennae were picking up (I picked up roughly 5% gaydar, and that was from the loving looks Dicko and Kyle were giving each other). Pluchinotta did not get through. Unsurprisingly, Vesna is pissed, and is letting everyone know about it.

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So we're now two days into 2008's edition of Australian Idol and already I'm reaching saturation point. Is slamming us with six solid nights of auditions a good way to begin a season? Jump over the, er, jump and we can discuss last night's effort.

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So, Australian Idol has begun - they couldn't even wait until after the Olympics closing ceremony, such was the enthusiasm of another year of hopefuls - and was it everything the incredible, Jacksons-aping, James Spargo-highlighting promos made it out to be? Let's hold hands and go over the jump to discuss Idol's opening salvo.

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Just days after Ian "Dicko" Dickson "accidentally" let slip that he thought this year's Australian Idol final two were "beautiful but boring", the pair have used their Sunday night spotlight to get their own back.

Matt Corby has had a go at the judge and mentor, while Natalie Gauci chose to employ The Power Of Music™ to get her point across (which incidentally left her looking loopy and over-emotional instead of focused and intense; the latter was presumably the effect she was going for, but we could be wrong).

When presenters showed concern for the singer after a subdued performance of his second song, Jamie Cullum's hit Dry, the 17-year-old turned the tables with a snappy aside of his own, with the quip: "I feel sorry for Dicko. He must be bored out of his mind."

Melbourne finalist, Natalie Gauci got a dig in of her own, perhaps, belting out current top 10 hit, Apologise by One Republic, and the Kate Bush classic Running Up That Hill with its key lyrics "So much hate for the ones we love. Tell me we both matter don't we?" taking on special meaning.

All this doesn't really matter, of course, because as we've learned every Idol year before this, it doesn't actually matter how good the Final Two are - because the winner's single is always, without fail, total and utter pants.

Maybe Dicko was talking about the song?

We cannot be the only ones slightly surprised by the news that Ian 'Dicko' Dickson has just signed on to star as a judge on The Next Great American Band - a search for the, erm, next great American band - alongside Johnny Rzeznik from The Goo Goo Dolls* and Sheila E.

Says The Age -

Like Idol, The Next Great American Band will challenge groups to perform in several different styles as it searches for the top unsigned band in the US. The three judges will narrow down the field to 10 finalists who'll perform live each week, playing a mix of their own music and cover tunes. Viewers will have the final say in who stays and who goes. Australian Idol has only recently started its sixth series on Network Ten, and is not scheduled to end till December. Comment was being sought from Dickson.

We're seeking a comment from him too - specifically, an explanation as to how the fuck he pulled this off! Congratulations Dicko. Now you'd best prepare yeself for the smack-like buzz of fame on a much, much bigger level.

*Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley enjoyed their first dance as man and wife to the tune of his hit song Iris

More and more Australian Idol related articles are starting to appear in the papers, reminding those of us who watch more reality television than recommended by health professionals that we must prepare ourselves, gather strength and rest up in anticipation of the at times grueling period of the ratings season where Channel Ten's line up seems to consist of only two shows - Australian Idol and Big Brother.

Whetting our appetites for the impending barrage of mildly talented fame-hungry teenagers/future Young Divas members is this report from the Sunday Telegraph.

It actually did manage to muster up excitement in Defamer Australia HQ because it reminded us that our beloved Ian "Dicko" Dickson is returning to the franchise in its fifth season as his attempt to capitalise on his sudden fame on another television station failed spectacularly to keep things "real" and provide witless cock-holster Kyle Sandilands with the occasional well-deserved verbal kick up the jacksie.

Though not present at yesterday's auditions, returning Australian Idol judge Ian "Dicko'' Dickson said he had been pleased with the quality of performers already discovered.

"We've found some special people, but need some more - we're greedy,'' Dickson said.

Alright, so that's not quite a shining example of Dicko's wit and all-round excellence but damn it, we're just thrilled that there'll be someone on the judging panel who can string a coherent sentence together and verbalise their generally reasonable and sane thoughts in a sensible manner.

After all, as the past two seasons have proved, when you're relying on Mark "JIBBIDY JANGJANG JOO JAAAAAA, TOUCHDOWN! EXTREMUS ROCKIUS CHA BOO LA BOO DONG DONG TINGLES BAM BAM BAM SPAGHETTI-OS!" Holden to be the voice of reason on any occasion, things have hit a low point.

And let's face it, no matter how rubbish Idol is this year, with Dicko on board it is guaranteed to be a hundred times better than this year's season of Big Brother.