dick in a box

AFL Surprisingly Not Keen On Players Wearing Nighties, Monster Cocks In Public

1:30PM Clem Bastow | As reported yesterday, Carlton’s Brendan Fevola was looking festive on Mad Monday when he hit the bars of Federation Square along with his teammates, donning a floral nightie, pink cloche hat and giant rubber dong that looked just precious with his eye colour. In a stunning development, the AFL (and the government, and the Australian Family Association, and…) has reacted with disappointment to the Blues’ star’s latest bout of public revelry (who can forget that old “pissing on the wall of the Police station” chestnut) and while they’ve not made it clear if they’ll extend their “Mad Monday” party pooping (or is that “poopering”?) to the entire league, Victorian Premier John “No Fun” Brumby is hopping mad. “You expect footballers to have a bit of fun and let off a bit of steam at the end of the year but you don’t expect them to parade around Federation Square in public the way these footballers were. Yes, yes, very good – now do you want to see VIDEO FOOTAGE of Fevola’s comedy knob? Of course you do. More »

Justin Timberlake Is Only Funny When He Puts His Dick In A Box

6:53AM Molly Friedman | We have some troubling news to report: contrary to popular belief, Justin Timberlake is (spoiler alert) not funny. According to Radar Online, that masterful introductory speech JT recited at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame on Monday night was more than just a fun series of anecdotes about Madonna’s B12 shots and Britney putdowns. For those on the scene, it was a painful series of awkward silences and lame attempts at humor, made even more painful by Justin’s Norton-like tries at improvising some jokes of his own: “Timberlake’s attempts at humor flopped, and breaking into a falsetto sing-songy funnyvoice after botching a scripted line didn’t help…When he finished, the NSYNCsman was asked by one of the producers if he ‘felt good about the speech.’ ‘Yeah. I mean, how is everyone else’s [speech]?’ Timberlake replied nervously.” More »

Ryan Seacrest To Indulge His Musical Theatre Impulses On Emmy Stage

12:44AM Defamer Hollywood | Having steadily risen the variety show emceeing ranks since he was plucked from relative obscurity by the immaculately manicured hand of Merv Griffin himself, it was really only a matter of time before American Idol host and E! red carpet munchkin Ryan Seacrest would be asked to preside over a major awards telecast. But until that day comes, he’s more than happy to take on the Emmys. Talking to THR about the high-profile gig, Seacrest spoke of having to stretch past his copy-regurgitating comfort zone into the realm of jazz-hand-waving song and dance man: Emmy host Ryan Seacrest said Wednesday that he is forgoing an opening monologue in favour of a musical number at the upcoming 59th Primetime Emmy Awards ceremony. More »