delusions of grandeur

Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Jacked Off

10:51AM Clem Bastow | Remember approximately a bazillion years ago when Winegums was working with producer/collaborator Mark Ronson on the theme song for the new 007 flick, Quantum Of Solace, and everyone was all like “this will be Amy’s big career revival!”? Yeah, neither did I, such has been her exemplary work ethic lately, but evidently she actually did finish a recording and plans to release it anyway (i.e. in spite of Jack White and Alicia Keys’ official track) in some sort of chart comeback/flipped bird to the Bond execs who vetoed her effort. Wow, this has “monumental success” written all over it! Amy told me she wants to “prove that they have made a big mistake”. More »

“Nooooo Bingo” Guy Snubbed By Logies Organisers; Paul Thomas Anderson Sends Telegram Of Support

9:07AM Clem Bastow | To be honest we’d completely forgotten about “hilarious” National Bingo Night “Bingo Commissioner” Tanveer Ahmed – you know, “Nooooo bingo!” dude, who was probably made more memorable by his frequent unauthorised appearances on The Chaser. He hasn’t forgotten his own importance, however, and is railing against the organisers of the Logie Awards, because the “Ball Room Girl” has been nom’d and he hasn’t. This, apparently, constitutes great “injustice”. Read and learn, kids: “The process of selection for Logie nominees must be called into question when the Bingo Commissioner [him] gets knocked back behind Renee Bargh, the ball girl,” he railed. “Realistically, the show flopped but the popularity and impact of the Bingo referee character [him again] was far beyond the short lifespan and lukewarm ratings of the program.” We love that he’s talking about himself almost in the third person! Anyone want to place bets on a Falling Down-esque public meltdown soon? He’ll probably go on an indiscriminate rampage, burning down bingo halls and shouting, “The Bingo Commissioner just wanted a time to shine! Is that too much to ask?!” More »

Tragic Facebook Groups Raise Concerns About Rampant Delusions Of Grandeur Amongst Australian C-list

9:23AM Clem Bastow | As anyone who spends their day trawling Facebook while wasting time at work will slowly be becoming aware, Facebook is starting its slow slide down into MySpace-esque crapness. The “random adds”, the shitty applications that make you invite 20 people before seeing your results, the ads for Christian stadium gigs and low-rent bikinis – and now, the arrival of the ‘celebrity profiles’. Confidential has picked up on the trend, but only scratches the surface of the issue. They reckon there’s a group called ‘Proud Australian Celebrities’ – they’re wrong, there are in fact two ‘request to join’ (i.e. invite-only) groups – and they’re doozies. Let’s look at them, shall we? More »

Jason Singh Gets Set For Taxiride To The Top, Fame No Longer Creeping Up Slowly!

10:31AM Clem Bastow | Remember Taxiride? That bunch of Nice GuysTM who managed to be confusingly successful, with Get Set somehow ending up on the Election soundtrack and their hilariously badly titled #1 album Imaginate doing all sorts of things to commercial radio around the turn of the Century? (We love using that phrase.) Well, if you felt a gaping hole in your life since the last time you heard Everywhere You Go played on Video Hits, fear not, as Taxiride frontman Jason Singh is BACK! (And yes, Taxiride army, we are aware that the band is still together and playing such illustrious gigs as the Regatta Festival in Brisbane.) At a showcase for his new band, Future Role Models (can’t you just see that on merch?), reps from three rival record labels were apparently jostling for position in the front row. The story fails to mention names of the record labels, so while we are presumably meant to think of EMI, Warner and Universal, they could just have likely been Frankston-based start-ups with a small business grant. Nothing, however, could have prepared us for the earnestness of this quote from Singh, regarding Taxiride’s rise and fall: “They (industry) wanted us to be a boy band and we thought we were The Eagles,” he said yesterday. Such is the tragic fate suffered by so many late-’90s non-threatening male pop vocal groups, but Singh is no JOHNNY COME LATELY – he better get used to LIFE IN THE FAST LANE if he wants to avoid some HEARTBREAK TONIGHT and get this career reinvention on the road before HELL FREEZES OVER. More »