Yesterday our soulmates at Confidential reported Kylie Minogue had been spotted out and about in Melbourne, enjoying dinner with at a restaurant on Monday night, and bonding with a chum at a cafe on Greville St.

Kylie was spied yesterday having a drink with a blonde girlfriend at Greville St cafe On The Corner.

Our spy said the pop pixie was wearing celebrity standard-issue big black sunglasses, khaki pants, a purple T-shirt and a yellow headscarf.

Earlier, she had lunch at Candy Bar in the same area.

"She was looking fabulous, beautiful blonde hair and looking very relaxed," our spy said.

Well, our source actually served Ms Minogue and immediately texted us (prefacing his revelation with the kind words "You're the only homo in my phone that I thought might be vaguely interested. Go figure.") to inform us of this fact. When pressed for information, he revealed the following.

"She had a skinny latte with "not too much milk" and blue berry pancakes. Looked old and very blonde. I'd do her... but that's not saying much."

Indeed it isn't, friend. As for looking old, well - she IS pushing forty, god love her! We still think Kyles appears fab and not at all like a bad version of Dannii who resembles a bad version of a young Kylie and now we know how to fix her coffee should we ever, you know, run into her and she declares she's in desperate need for a caffeine fix.

If you spy a celebrity - no matter what grade, A is great but Z suits us just fine - feel free to inform us by emailing us. We suppose you could text us like our mate Ryan did, but this would involve you knowing our mobile number. Which you probably don't.

Well, don't bother looking for the signs we mentioned before. Big Brother has confiscated the posters, claiming the first four rows are a "no poster zone".

Still, Gretel is set to do a monologue in front of our charming operatives, so look out for the slightly crazed, probably drunk adults screaming like banshees and poking at Gretel as though she were a FaceBook friend.

Defamer Australia was unable to head up to a Big Brother eviction this weekend like we'd planned to due to "life" malarkey springing up last minute and keeping us stuck in our home town*.

However, our operatives hit the Gold Coast with explosive force on Friday, accosting recent evictee Michelle on the streets and taking a plethora of photos (which we've been assured will be sent straight to us as soon as humanly possible). Our agent in mischief Genny B apparently screamed at Michelle excitedly "I'M LOVING YOU SICK RIGHT NOW!" which, from what we hear, both thrilled and terrified the Bogan Queen.

Our amazing gang of misfits are, as we speak, wandering around Dreamworld and biding their time until tonight's eviction show. They will be texting Defamer Australia updates and news from the audience, so if we hear anything good, you guys will be the first to know. Swears.

Oh, and if you want to play a bastardised version of "Where's Wally" while watching tonight's eviction, our crew are holding up the following nonsensical signs in the crowd.

· Genny B = "Zach, I'm Pregaz!"
· Lee = "LOL"
· Dirty and Hotman = "Kersal" and "Massive" respectively. (see here)
· Sugar = "It's All About Me"
· Fits = "*pokes*" and "IM IN YR EVIKSHUN"

*We may be going to the final eviction though, which should be surreal, hilarious and amazing in equal parts.