dancing with a sort of star
Daniel MacPherson Is The New ‘Dancing’ Host; Somewhere, Larry Emdur Cries Quietly
12:10PM Clem Bastow | After praying to God/Buddha/Gary Ablett that either Larry Emdur or Andrew O’Keefe (or, indeed, Tina Sparkle) would get the Dancing With The Stars hosting gig in Daryl Somers’ stead, the show has casually slipped itself back into the irrelevance folder (in the Defamer Australia household, at least) by announcing Daniel MacPherson as the host.
We’re so… whelmed that we’ll let Daniel do the talking, and isn’t this the most spontaneous and self-effacing quote you’ve ever read in your life:
“Professionally I thrive on challenges. For me, live TV is sort of the pinnacle of entertainment. You risk so much. You risk your personal and professional reputation every time you go out there, particularly in a vehicle that’s as huge as Dancing.”
Only last month MacPherson spoke of his disinterest in hosting a television series after The X Factor bombed in 2005.
“Drama has always been my true goal … Nah, I can’t see myself hosting in the near future,” he said in July.
Oh good! Can’t see yourself hosting, can you? Neither can we! And while you’re at it, get your hands off our Tina Sparkle, please.
Back to lighting candles in the vain hope that The Late Andrew O’Keefe will be greenlit, then. More » 
Latest Season Of ‘Dancing With The Stars’ May Not Suck, May Actually Contain Stars
8:37AM Clem Bastow | Of course, that all depends on your definition of “star”, but a totally gorgeous and currently employed Home & Away castmember (who, doubly excitingly, used to regularly appear in the Dolly magazines of the Defamer Australia team’s youth) probably fits the bill: welcome aboard the good ship “I Thought This Might Revive My Career”, Jodi Gordon!
Jodi joins other rumoured Dancing stars as, er, Tara Reid. And that’s about it so far. So she really IS the star!
While Channel 7 would not officially confirm Gordon’s reality TV spin yesterday, Confidential can reveal the Home and Away star has agreed to take part in the popular dance-off when it airs post-Olympics.
While her boyfriend, Seven heir Ryan Stokes, will be hoping Gordon leaves more than just her hat on during her ballroom blitz, the stunning brunette will no doubt be positioned as the eye candy offering of the eighth series.
Well, until Channel Seven themselves decide to “reveal” the official line-up for this year, we’re sticking with illustrating this piece with the glorious visage of one Miss Tina Sparkle, aka Sonia Kruger, Dancing co-host and general goddess. More » Learning How To Dance With Your Handbag: A Guide To Jiving Presented By Nikki Webster
11:17AM Jess McGuire | If the news Nikki Webster’s dance studio is offering punters the chance to learn how to shimmy whilst clutching a handbag and teetering about in heels doesn’t tickle you as much as it did me, then I declare you have no soul.
From the press release!
Nobody will leave baby in the corner once she has attended the latest sensation taking place every Friday at the Dance @ Nikki Webster performing arts studio. Juggling handbags, heels and cocktails on the dance floor was challenging until Handbags and Heels dance classes emerged. Director Nikki Webster introduced the classes to teach women how to feel comfortable and confident when they dance with their handbags, instead of placing them perilously on the ground. “I would often see women around me struggling to move fluidly and thought it would be a great idea to demonstrate easy to follow dance movements with a handbag” says Webster.
Thank you, Nikki, for daring to tackle one of society’s biggest problems!
Students are required to be over the age of 18 and bring the heels and handbag they would wear on a night out dancing. Dance @ Nikki Webster provides a glass of champagne on arrival and plays current music to recreate a nightclub environment. “The classes are a fun way to spend a late afternoon with friends and are becoming increasingly popular with hens nights” says Webster. Transport can be arranged on completion of the class to the Sydney CBD especially for those wanting to put their newly learnt moves into action.
Personally, I cannot think of a better way to kick start a Friday night out with the girls. A little shaking of groove thangs, a glass or two of champagne until one feels suitably giggly and festive, and then a booze bus transporting you to a horrible club in the CBD where you can attempt to pick up a half-sozzled accountant who is in the mood for love after hitting the piss at work drinks!
If you ask me, this is the best bit of the entire statement.
Dance @ Nikki Webster opened on May 3, 2008 and is Australia’s premier performing arts school founded by Nikki Webster and her older brother Scott.
The punctuation – or lack of it – says it all. Dance @ Nikki Webster* is Australia’s premier performing art school founded by Nikki Webster and her older brother Scott. Sure, it’s the only performing arts school founded by Nikki Webster and her older brother Scott, but it is also the best.
*Does this not sound like a threatening thing to do – dancing at her in a menacing way, maybe frightening poor Nikki with your murderous version of the Macarena? More » Is “Will Tara Reid Save Dancing With The Stars” A Rhetorical Question?
11:01AM Clem Bastow | It’s probably safe to say that when your celebreality franchise is on the blink and the person you look to as your ratings saviour is Tara Reid, to borrow a phrase from Tilda Swinton’s Angel Gabriel in Constantine, you’re fucked.
Because that seems to be precisely what Dancing With The Stars is looking into, now that Daryl Somers has drifted off, chasing the great microphone in the sky, and the series is not feeling as fresh or edgy as it once did, mainly because, well, they’re running out of “stars” to dance with.
Hoping to amp up interest in the tried and tested formula, production company Freehand are keen to snare an international name to compete on the show after taking over producing rights from Granada.
But following rejections from sizzling UK chef Gordon Ramsay and US style guru Carson Kressley, the calibre of potential celebrity contestants is dropping faster than former host Daryl Somers’s overnight exit from the show last year.
Freehand has been sounding out managers ahead of compiling a list of stars interested in dancing, with desperate C-lister Tara Reid the latest name to be asked to slip into the sequins.
More body-for-hire than on fire, the surgically enhanced blonde accepted as little as $3500 to turn up to parties while visiting Australia to host the tastefully named Hookers costume ball earlier this year.
Ooh, only $3500 to turn up to a crap party! What a cheap whore! Seriously, if someone offered me $50 to come to the Hookers & Deviants Ball, or even $15 to stand outside my local 711, I’d probably take it.
I’m aware that Tara Reid is not the best example to use here, but surely the measure of talent and/or personal value in instances like this is something other than whatever celebrities get paid to appear at things? Or are we all just commodities these days?
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!! More » 
