· On America's Got Talent last night, David Hasselhoff was refreshingly candid about the stirrings in his loins elicited by Drag Britney. [AGT]
· Step! Two, Three, Ball, Step, Ball, Reverse, Change! Watch out stars—Lance means business! [Mollygood]
· In this new promotional shot from Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell stands next to the kind of Sleestak you might imagine posing for pictures at Disneyland. [First Showing]
· Mmmm...Hannah Montana Sweet & Sour Gummi Cocks. [BWE.tv]
· And last but not least, it's Paul Reubens's birthday today. In his honour, enjoy the entire Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. Happy birthday, Pee-wee! Mm...Birthday cakey. [YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube]

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That thrilling rite of reality TV passage—the running of the Z-list celebs down the streets of Pomona and into the Dancing with the Stars studios for an unforgettable season of Mambos and Cha-Chas, marred infrequently by the occasional rogue-sequin blinding—is again underway, friends. Let's get right down to it. Here is your class of 2008-09:

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After Confidential speculated yesterday that Todd McKenney could be being shown the door at Dancing With The Stars HQ, it turns out it's not the acid-tongued tall poppy who is on the way out, but instead fellow judge Paul "New Steps" Mercurio who will be let go from the panel. Now who will we turn to on network television to remind us how much we all enjoy reciting lines from Strictly Ballroom? To quote that very film, that was unexpected!

Mercurio was told yesterday he was no longer required on the judging panel of Channel 7's hit show Dancing with the Stars.

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As Dancing With The Stars gears up for another season of laffs and... I can't think of a dance move that rhymes with "laffs", having assigned a host and announced its "stars", it looked as though everything was set to move along nicely - only now Confidential has gone and dropped a fly in the Dance Tan by suggesting that beleaguered judge Todd McKenney may not have a seat on the panel this time around:

With controversial judge Todd McKenney already on serious drugs charges, TV insiders speculated yesterday the trouble-plagued performer could find himself on the bench again.

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An eagle-eyed, Craigslist-scavenging informant today points us to a compelling career opportunity for the ambitious dreamer in you: A "high-ranking staffer on a hit dance reality show" is in dire need of a new assistant after the last one apparently agreed to assist him (or her, we suppose) full-time in bed:

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So they announced the Dancing With The Stars, er, stars yesterday, but still no word on who is stepping up to host in Daryl Somers' absence.

And since I am currently placing all my bets on Larry Emdur stepping in to fill the all hostin', all punnin', sometimes dancin' gig, I am hoping that they make up their bloody minds soon - evidently, so does Larry himself. Or at least his fans.

And in an extraordinary public response to Confidential's previous report of Emdur's early screen test for the role, Sydney voters have backed the former Price Is Right guy to win.

The TV veteran scored 39 per cent of more than 1550 votes in an online survey, ahead of former contestant Fifi Box (20 per cent) and Weekend Sunrise co-host Andrew O'Keefe (17).

Seven colleagues Chris Bath (10), Andrew Daddo (8) and David Koch (3) rounded out the field of six possibles to star opposite Sonia Kruger.

Seven publicists have refused to confirm potential appointments, with rumours the successful host will be named this weekend.

Personally, I'm still on team Larry, although, this also opens up the possibility for Sonia "Tina Sparkle" Kruger to potentially take on all the hosting duties. If that's the case, I will not only watch every episode, but threaten to drink poison unless everyone I know watches it, too, and pumps up the ratings.

You can thank me later, Seven!

After a considerable number of question marks hung over the head of local celebreality franchise Dancing With The Stars, it's good to see that the "popular light entertainment program" (now that's a genre title to aspire to if ever there was one!) seems to have gotten its collective shit together and announced its latest cast of stumbling quick-stepping notables - and, in a shocking move, it actually contains stars!

Sort of!

Dancing ... contestants (pictured left to right, back to front) Charli Delaney, Toni Pearen, Danny Green, Jodi Gordon, Brooke Hanson, Paul Licuria, Cal Wilson, Luke Jacobz, James Tobin and Red Symons.

They still have not announced a replacement for retired host Daryl Somers, but - according to the article - Fifi Box and Andrew O'Keefe are "in the mix". I'm still pinning my hopes on Larry Emdur, but anything will be better than Somers' constant dad jokes and mugging.

With legalized same-sex unions already labelled passé, Hollywood discovered its newest cause designed specifically to piss off Arkansas: live, televised, boy-on-boy fox-trotting mayhem. This fall, Lance Bass is reportedly set to join the cast of Dancing With The Stars and partner with a male dancer and cha-cha his way into America's hearts. You know, because he's gay. And it's edgy.

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Oh man, if this is true, it could be the most exciting television news all year: Larry Emdur is being "tipped" to take over the Dancing With The Stars mantle from Daryl Somers, who left at the end of last year. Can you imagine? Larry Emdur with Tina Sparkle? It'll cause a tear in the space time fabric of tongue-in-cheek light entertainment hosting because of its astronomical awesomeness!

I think this deserves an "OMG!!"

Ahem, anyway:

While sources from Dancing with the Stars' production company Freehand are placing their bets on Emdur, Mr Come On Down himself wasn't giving up the game when Confidential contacted him yesterday.

"It would be awesome but I'm not so sure that it's me," Emdur said.

"I did do a couple of tests but as far as I know I'm just one of the names on the list."

Can we start some sort of Defamer Australia-led campaign for Larry to get the gig? Someone make one of those online petitions!

Of course, that all depends on your definition of "star", but a totally gorgeous and currently employed Home & Away castmember (who, doubly excitingly, used to regularly appear in the Dolly magazines of the Defamer Australia team's youth) probably fits the bill: welcome aboard the good ship "I Thought This Might Revive My Career", Jodi Gordon!

Jodi joins other rumoured Dancing stars as, er, Tara Reid. And that's about it so far. So she really IS the star!

While Channel 7 would not officially confirm Gordon's reality TV spin yesterday, Confidential can reveal the Home and Away star has agreed to take part in the popular dance-off when it airs post-Olympics.

While her boyfriend, Seven heir Ryan Stokes, will be hoping Gordon leaves more than just her hat on during her ballroom blitz, the stunning brunette will no doubt be positioned as the eye candy offering of the eighth series.