There are TV characters you hate to love, and then there are those whose love you hate. TV Guide writer Damien Holbrook tackles the latter in the magazine's upcoming feature, "Top 10 Most Annoying TV Couples," which details the most aggravating, chemistry-free romances ever foisted on television by a hubris-stricken showrunner. Did your least favourite couple make the list? Will Katherine Heigl make her beloved Joshua forward the article to the Grey's Anatomy writers? Results and analysis, after the jump:

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How's this for an unlikely couple? Former CSI star-turned-drug-runner Gary Dourdan and the singer responsible for the most annoying song of the decade, James Blunt, have apparently pooled together whatever cash they have left in their respective bank accounts and gone on holiday together. While on an Ibizan vacation of sin, the heroin/ecstasy enthusiast and the notorious player teamed up to stage a far racier version of Miley Cyrus' homemade porny photo spreads, as they posed alongside at least three topless prostitutes female friends who were overjoyed to fake anal sex and engage in a little lesbian chic foreplay for the paparazzi. The NSFW photos, including a particularly fun shot of the blondest, nude-iest girl for hire who appears to be delighted to have her head shoved towards the third wheel's crotch, after the jump:

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· Still want more OT (Oprah/Tom)? We've compiled the interview's best moments. And yes, he addresses the indoctrination video you watched here. Verdict? Oprah: Asked the tough questions. Tom: Depressed. [Oprah.com]
· Yikes. We'd hate to see what Kanye would have written if EW had given his tour a B-minus. [kanyeuniversecity.com via Idolator]
· Now you can linger over assistant Jonathan's lovingly collaged FRIENDS 4 EVA!!! farewell poster for Jack Donaghy from last night's 30 Rock. [Videogum]
· It's time for accused Uma-stalker Jack "Tee-Hee" Jordan to have his say: He's humiliated! (Now that we think of it, Tee-Hee is the greatest nickname ever. Dibs!) [Reuters]
· "Hey, Gary! Good weekend? What?!" [People]
· The assault charges against Rod Stewart's retarded son have been dropped. [AP]
· Angelyne has the developers of the W Hotel over a barrel. Attagirl! [LAT]

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As we write this, recent CSI casualty Gary Dourdan is likely recovering from an even gnarlier Coachella hangover than most: TMZ reports the actor was discovered by Palm Springs police asleep in his car at 5:21 a.m., upon which he was arrested on "suspicion of possession of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs," otherwise known as the bare minimum required to make a Jack Johnson set seem remotely exciting. His genuinely pained mugshot—we seriously can't stare at it for more than a few seconds—is pictured above. Developing...

• "CSI" Star Popped for Heroin, Coke, Ecstasy [TMZ]

Noting that two cast members from TV's highest-rated procedurals—CSI's Gary Dourdan and Law & Order: SVU's Diane Neal—would be leaving their series at the end of their contracts, TVGuide.com's Michael Ausiello has reexamined the evidence, and concludes that these seemingly friendly departures were more likely the result of some less-than-amicable shitcannings:

In the case of Dourdan, an insider at the show insists that he and CSI execs "mutually agreed" to part ways for "creative reasons." However, a CBS mole claims the 41-year-old actor was essentially fired, adding that producers are trying to be "as supportive and protective" of him as possible by portraying the departure as mutual. That same mole wasn't willing to share the specific reason for Dourdan's ouster, except to say that it involves an "ongoing problem personal to Dourdan." [...]

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· A half-hour CSI stage show at Magic Mountain will allow visitors to Six Flags to "witness a fake crime, then guide them through the 'whodunit' process," before shuffling them through turnstiles for the ride of their life on The Wild Blacklight Splooge-Stain Coaster! [Variety]
· Filmmaker R.J. Cutler will turn the new book Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-Up in the 1970s Changed America into a feature-length documentary, highlighting the amazing stand-up accomplishments of groundbreaking comedians like Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and a 4-year-old Dane Cook, who to this day holds the title for youngest Boston Yuk-Yuks headliner of all time. [Variety]

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Exactly one week ago today, we ran a fairly innocuous item about David Caruso's effusive bullying of a young director on the set of CSI: Sunglasses. Unbeknownst to us at the time we posted it, this item would generate a tremendous amount of feedback from you, the Defamer community. In particular, we received one incredibly detailed recollection of Caruso's on-set behaviour from a commenter with the nom de plume of OnSetSnitch. While we normally don't make a practice out of reprinting comments verbatim, this one is so full of Grade-A juice that we felt compelled to share it with a wider audience. With that, please enjoy this unfortunate (yet hilarious) tale of what it's like to work with the likes of David Caruso on a daily basis:

It's taken me a bit of courage to actually fess up to what I've seen on the set of CSI:Miami, but I actually worked there for two years and saw first-hand almost 50 episodes being filmed. Caruso is without a doubt, the most tortured, saddest man-child/ actor I've ever seen in over 15 years of movie and tv-making. Everything you have heard is true, but worse.

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By now, seemingly every pop culture pundit worth their weight in punchlines has latched onto the high comedic value of David Caruso's effusive stylings on CSI: Miami. In particular, The Soup's Joel McHale has taken extreme delight in (and created a cottage industry from) Caruso's patented "I'm going to hastily remove my sunglasses while I deliver this one-liner" maneuver. But until we read this insider's account of Caruso's excruciating acting process on Popbitch, the TV viewer in us always just kind of naively assumed that these moments happened semi-serendipitously. But boy oh boy, were we ever wrong:

David Caruso asks [the show's director] when there will be a close up of [his] sunglasses - in every scene.

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We'll admit to not yet having been aware of Marcus Patrick, the prominently bebonered actor currently gracing the cover of Playgirl.

Billed as "CSI's Marcus Patrick," we're not sure if a one-episode-long arc on CSI Miami in 2005 (available for viewing on his official website reel) really warrants the possessive modifier. Still, Marcus is a successful daytime TV actor, currently making housewives and striking writers swoon on Days of Our Lives, and this recent shlong-brandishing on the cover of a major publication - like Lifetime movies, Enrique Iglesias, and Sex and the City, billed as "entertainment for women" and consumed primarily by gay men - is sure to be a boon to his career. (The uncropped cover and rest of the spread is over at Bossip.)

• For the Ladies [Bossip]
• [Playgirl - NSFW]

In this post-Jericho era, any network executive or TV producer who's just signed off on a potentially unpopular change now expects to spend their next day at the office buried underneath an avalanche of foodstuffs delivered by protesting viewers who now believe that even the most stubborn of minds can be changed with a metric tonne of peanuts. Discussing the announcement of Jorja Fox's (officially voluntary) departure from CSI with TVGuide.com, executive producer Carol Mendelsohn marvels at how disappointed fans have escalated things since the now quaint-seeming NUTS to CBS! campaign:

What do you make of the intensity of the fan reaction to Jorja's exit? Mendelsohn: It has been astounding. It's incredible how creative our fans are. We got two cases of chocolate covered insects with the message "CSI without Sara bugs us."

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