cops & courts
Britney’s Paparazzo Paramour Tells All
7:47AM Seth | At this very moment, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (and Steve Carell, but let’s not needlessly complicate things) are back at the L.A. County Courthouse for yet another custody hearing to determine what contingencies are to be placed on access to her own children. (You’ll recall visitation rights were revoked following her recent Van Halen 5150-hold hospitalisation incident.) Wait! A shocking development has played out in the time it took to type that last sentence: More »
Former Playboy Model Barely Keeps It Together Recalling Rough Texas Justice
10:01AM Defamer Hollywood | We don’t think this one needs too much dressing up: A report about former Playboy magazine model Rebecca Reyes, who claims she was manhandled by Texas cops, replete with tearful, first person recollection of the events. Observations? Um, former Playboy models crying makes us sad. Also, brown is an underrated tanktop color. Happy New Year, everyone! KCAL News More »
No charges
9:01AM Defamer Hollywood | That’s a relief! Brandy won’t face charges for involuntary vehicular manslaughter, so says the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office. Brandy is no doubt relieved that she won’t have to hire an army of lawyers to defend her in court against criminal charges, and can instead put it all towards the civil suit, a possible settlement, and a medium Pinkberry with no toppings purchased with what’s left.[MSNBC] More »
It’s Getting So Openly Gay Insectoid Stand-Ups Can’t Even Retain Their Identities Anymore
4:56AM Defamer Hollywood | Comic Ant, best known from his failed grab at the Last Comic Standing crown and hosting that show where porked-out C-listers stand on a giant scale in an effort to shed their poundage while retaining their dignity, is the victim of check fraud: An identity thief, likely affecting a piercing voice, has nicked ninety Gs from the jester’s coffers: TMZ caught the comedian leaving his apartment last night, where he confirmed he was the victim of identity theft by someone who found out his account number. TMZ has learned that the perpetrator then went on a six-day shopping spree, spending more than $12,000 in a day at Neiman Marcus alone! Just like an Olsen! More »
Jon Peters Hit With Multiple Maid-Fluffing Lawsuits
4:17AM Defamer Hollywood | Former Barbra Streisand lover/Perm-Tensility Quality Control Technician Jon Peters, who only recently spent millions to give his adoptive godson Kal-El Brandon Routh the most dancing-waterest wedding in Kryptonian history, is on the receiving end of yet two more sexual harassment lawsuits filed by exasperated staff members claiming to have been faded-superproducer-handled during their tenures at the Peters estate. From Page Six: The four-time-divorced mogul behind “Superman Returns,” “Ali” and “Batman” was sued Monday in LA Superior Court by Blanca Hernandez, who helped maintain Peters’ home and office. She claims Peters sexually harassed her by touching her breasts and buttocks, once tried to push her onto his bed when he was naked, tried to kiss her breasts – which he called “pillows” – and offered her money for sex. [...] More »
Sean Connery Held in Contempt by Judge: ‘You’re Annoying’
10:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Sean Connery isn’t just a smooth and dashing Scot, he’s also a compulsively litigious thorn in the side of New York State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman. It seems the septuagenarian is engaged in an endless game of “Suit, Countersuit” with his neighbour, in an enmity-charged relationship not seen since Bond thwarted Dr. No. Appropriately, his neighbour’s name is Mr. Sultan: The legal dispute between Sean Connery and his downstairs neighbors has a fed-up judge telling both sides to cool it. More »
Dope
10:04AM Defamer Hollywood | We can all breathe a little bit easier now that we know that the “narcotic” found on Mischa Barton during her DUI arrest was, in fact, marijuana. (To be honest, we thought California classifies that stuff as a “holistic food additive”.) We also now have access to heartbreaking images of a babushka-wrapped Barton–accidentally, we’re sure, evoking Benazir Bhutto–being led away from the the jail where she spent the night to her parents’ waiting car. A sobering event for all involved, to be sure. [Page Six]
Charged
9:51AM Defamer Hollywood | Celebrity DUI Christmas continues–sort of. Early Tom Cruise screen love interest Rebecca De Mornay, whom we mistakenly thought couldn’t so much as get arrested in this town, was charged today for being picked up by police October 30, after the hand that rocked her steering wheel led them to suspect she might be driving under the influence. (She was: She blew a .09.) Her court date is December 31st, “but she does not have to appear”. [TMZ] More »
There Is No Annoying Voiceover From Evan As Samuel Johnson Has His Day In Court
3:44PM Clem Bastow | Samuel Johnson, formerly of Secret Life Of Us, After The Deluge and every single bloody Hungry Jacks ad in the early 2000s, and more recently travel show presenter, managed a 12-month good behaviour bond after pleading guilty to assault.
The assault itself had been the cap on a very difficult year for Johnson, whose partner took her own life, leaving him – understandably – depressed and hitting the bottle, so we’re pleased to see him get a break.
Needless to say, victim Ben Benson probably doesn’t share all our good feelings, but at least he got a heartfelt apology from the former voice of Channel Ten.
The former Secret Life of Us star escaped an assault conviction over the attack, in which he punched the victim and stomped on his head.
The 29-year-old pleaded guilty to assault occasioning actual bodily harm but was given a 12-month good behaviour bond and had no conviction recorded.
Magistrate Brian Maloney described the attack as an “aberration”.
Afterwards, Johnson apologised to victim Ben Benson, saying: “I behaved like a goose and I’ve been remorseful since the moment it happened.”
You know, we were exceedingly fond of Samuel when he was all over our screens like a rash. Surely it’s time for someone to write him a comeback vehicle. Anyone?
We are happy to take 20% as we broker a deal for your excellent screenplay/script/exciting new invention/insert-whatever-we-are-hawking-here! More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Caught By The Fuzz
9:10AM Clem Bastow | With husband Blake Fielder-Civil in the clink for attempting to pervert the course of justice (or something, maybe just for his own good), it was probably only a matter of time ’til the filth came looking for Winegums – which is precisely what they seem to be planning.
Because, you know, did Blake come up with that massive wad of bribe cash down at the slots? What with the way Winegums blindly stands by her man, we won’t be surprised if she does turn out to be involved in some way. Really, it would be a fitting end to the year.
The star has been ordered to present herself to detectives this week to be quizzed over accusations she may have been involved in the scheme for which her hubby is awaiting trial.
Blake and five other men were charged last month with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.
But, cops have now turned their attentions to Amy, confiscating her mobile phone records, bank details and computer software which could provide evidence of the star’s alleged involvement in the plot.
Here’s hoping all they find are a whole lot of receipts for Medium Quarter Pounder McValue Meals and boxes of icypoles, and the number of a few “harmless” crack dealers. More » 