As if we needed any further proof that Charlotte Dawson is an all 'round tops chick, she has added "champion pie eater" to her resume.

What's that, you say, Charlotte's stacked it on? No more corsetted Alex Perry gowns for her!

Except you'd be wrong:

Using her gob to gobble up the tasty treats at Harry's Cafe De Wheels, the Foxtel femme beat off her younger TV rival from Nickelodeon Kyle Linehan in the Virgin Mobile food fight. Dawson downed her pie-and-mushy-pea dish in record time, during a promo for the phone carrier's "All You Can Eat" campaign.

So far, so advertorial (top work, Confidential!), but it does allow us the opportunity to post the greatest photo of the year so far:

Now there's one for the wallet if ever I saw one!

Charlotte Dawson for Prime Minister!

Bad news for those who were hoping Charlotte Dawnson and her sassypants would snatch the Australia's Next Top Model hosting spirit stick from Jodhi Meares after her, er, underwhelming (i.e. nonexistent) performance in the role come grand finale time: Foxtel sez Meares isn't going anywhere.

Somewhere in the suburbs of Sydney, Charlotte Dawson is contacting Fiona Horne to see how she can make a Wiccan career spell out of a pile of Tigerlily samples and a can of kerosene.

The pay-TV channel's CEO Brian Walsh slammed reports claiming executives on the model contest were "furious" after Meares pulled out of the live decider over stage fright.

"Nothing could be further from the truth. I rang Jodhi on Friday and reiterated the fact she has our full support and apologised for the media circus it's become," Walsh told Confidential yesterday.

"We won't be discussing contracts (for next year) until next month, but I told her to go have a holiday and forget about it."

Blah blah, whatever, but what's most exciting is that at the very least, as the piece goes on to note, it looks as though big things are planned for Dawson anyway:

Walsh had good news for Dawson too, revealing the Foxtel femme had been "earmarked" to host a major new series for the network next year.

"I haven't talked to her about it yet but it has a big live component with a studio audience and I think she'd be great," Walsh said.

And, rumour (read: The Vogue Forums) has it that Dawson and Alex "Tiny Mouth" Girdwood will be muscling in on Demelza's Vogue shoot, which would be amazing and create hilarity for all.

So you see? All is well with the world.

Behind Big Brother announced it, the news outlets are running with the story, and we just received an insider email from a Big Brother connection confirming it as true - Big Brother has been cancelled by Channel Ten.

Were radio duo turned television hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O the kiss of death for the Big Brother franchise, or was the loss of Gretel Killeen more to blame? Did the downhill slide kick off after the debacle that was Turkeyslapgate? Or was it over and out for the Gold Coast based reality extravaganza when Lefty Tim was robbed by the Logans during the 2005 finale (no, I'm still not over it)?

Who knows. All we can be sure of is that the last few years of the program have felt like producers were going through the motions, and audiences were slowly but surely finding better things to do than stay in and watch sun-loving bogans party pashing in the spa and talking rather ignorantly about world affairs.

The show's ratings have been poor since radio jocks Kyle and Jackie O replaced previous host Gretel Killeen as the faces of this year's series.

Big Brother was even beaten in the ratings by Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan's Budget speech in May.

Ratings bounced back to more than 1.4 million this week with the appearance on Wednesday of former Playboy Bunny Pamela Anderson.

Look, Pamela's appearance on the show absolutely worked for me - she was great, charming, and funny - but it wasn't ever going to be enough to redeem the show in the eyes of the viewing public.

Rumours that the show will return in 2010 may thrill some fans (and chill the blood of Big Brother haters...) but whether a year's break will be enough to reinvigorate the program remains to be seen. That said, a hiatus was something I suggested earlier this month - relax, kittens, I'm not egotistical enough to think my daft memo to Big Brother producers was influential in any way - so fingers crossed my other suggestion (Charlotte Dawson as host! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!) is taken on board as well.

I suppose the big question is - how on earth are Channel Ten going to fill their schedule between April and July next year? M*A*S*H re-runs? They'd better not invest in local drama, or I may very well pass out in shock. I suggest buying up as many cheap reality shows featuring Jillian Michaels as you can get your paws on, dudes.

Vale, Big Brother. We knew you all too well.

The spectre of a sacking (and horrible nightmares featuring Charlotte Dawson beating her to an Astra Award before setting fire to her dress, leaving her waking up sweating and in tears) looms larger and larger in Jodhi Meares' mind today, no doubt, as it has been suggested that her Australia's Next Top Model finalé no-show was not the first in her career.

Confidential can reveal that the former bikini babe forced producers of Sky News Business Channel program In Business to find replacement talent after she pulled out of an appearance slated to run during Australian Fashion Week in May.

Meares, who sold her swimwear label Tigerlily to surfwear company Billabong in December, was to have been the celebrity guest interview during the half hour program before she pulled out, citing sickness.

Well, to be honest, that sounds a bit like Confidential is clutching at straws, BUT, I question whether Meares has ever been that great a host of the model franchise, live finale or no live finale. She frequently reads from notes at elimination, often seems uncomfortable, fights with the other judges in a petulant manner, and plays favourites (Steph H, Demelza) to the nth degree.

So, we'll say it again: CHARLOTTE. DAWSON.

Apart from the obvious outcry over Demelza "Bully" Reveley taking out the crown, the biggest hoo haa following the Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4 finalé has been about Jodhi Meares' no show as the host of the finale.

It's a bit of a moot point, as Charlotte Dawson proved (again) that she's the better, funnier and more capable host, but really, if Meares is getting the mad bucks to be the face of Australia's Next Top Model, surely she can take some Rescue Remedy and bring herself to face a live audience?

Apparently smarting from the backlash, Meares has had a rep talk to the press, because evidently she's afraid of that, too.

"From the beginning Jodhi never agreed to do a live show of that scale," Ali Hainsworth said.

"It needs to be put out in the open because to throw something like that on someone wasn't entirely fair."

Uhh, that may be the case, but a casual viewing of either Cycles 1 and 2 of AusNTM or, like, every single Cycle of America's Next Top Model would reveal the obvious point that the grand final is always "a live show of that scale".

Those friendly folk over at the Daily Telegraph have helpfully assembled a few YouTube highlights of Jodhi's "work" at last year's grand final.

And seeing as our "C'mon Tiny Mouth" campaign for Alex to win the gong didn't go so well, we'll be doing nothing similar to try to get Dawson the hosting slot full-time next year in case we jinx her, but let it be known that I reckon Charlotte Dawson is the bomb shit.

Things that would have been better than making the housemates think there has been a spy amongst them from the beginning.

i) Actually putting a spy in there from the beginning.
ii) Putting an eel in the spa.
iii) Cutting off Rory's dreadlocks.

Also, after watching Australia's Next Top Model finale last night, I'm convinced you need to give the show a rest next year, and then come back in 2010 with one decent host, not two bumbling idiots whose career success continually provides the public with irrefutable proof there is no god. May I suggest...

MIKE GOLDMAN?

NO!

Charlotte Dawson. She has a sense of authority, the ability to talk to the viewer without her eye twitching, and she's just A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN KYLE AND JACKIE O.

Evidently our "C'mon Tiny Mouth!" campaign to get Alex across the line in the Australia's Next Top Model finale fell on deaf ears, because - thanks to the public vote after a split judges' vote - Demelza Reveley is the Cycle 4 winner.

She did not have Kirstie Clements' (Editor In Chief of Vogue Australia) vote, which means we can all look forward to finding Demelza in an advertorial shoot stuffed up the back of the magazine near the stockists' list. No cover for you, Demelza!

And, hmm, I wonder what the press thinks about the result? A sampling of headlines:

Teen bully Demelza Reveley wins Next Top Model

'Bully' 16-year-old takes out Next Top Model final

'Bitchketeer' Demelza Reveley wins Australia's Next Top Model

And so on. They make a good point - with the focus on bullying, cyber bullying and harassment in the media currently, what message does it send to young girls? That you can bully your way to the top? That it's okay to be a bully if you have a pretty face?

Unfortunately I can offer no thoughts on the finale as I wasn't even within a 10km radius of anyone with a) Foxtel or b) a VCR and b.i) a courier helicopter, so can only go on what is reported in the papers and what was relayed to me via SMS.

And on the latter topic, the bulk of the SMSes were along the lines of "OMG WTF no Jodhi?" - evidently Ms Meares has a fear of live television (and sent well wishes to the finalists via video link). So, er, doesn't that mean she's a pointless choice as a host, if the "Live Finale" is the glittering jewel in the AusNTM crown?

Give the gig to Charlotte Dawson!

Did you watch the finale? Did you press your big red button and vote for Demelza?

I'm popping my head in briefly from my secret holiday bunker to discuss this week's AusNTM episode. I actually watched it a week or so ago and was quite shaken by it. By now if you aren't aware, the bulk of the episode depicted - in excruciating detail - the reign of terror inflicted upon poor Alamela by a pack of bullies led by Demelza (who, in a delicious basket of ironing, once had to move schools as she was the victim of intense bullying).

At the time of watching the episode I was pleased to see Charlotte Dawson fly off the handle at them come elimination time (her calling them the "Dapto dogs" was particularly thrilling), but it seems I am not the only one now wondering if there shouldn't have been further action taken, with this week's evictee (and Alamela ally) Belinda Hodge speaking out:

Hodge claimed Rowan had come close to a nervous breakdown over the bullying and was "honed in on from day one" by a few of the contestants who called themselves the "bitch-keteers".

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A bit of a bland missive from Jodhi Mail central this week, mostly consisting of tears and sooks and nothing much else.

The girls were forced to "face their fears" in a live modelling 'performance' featuring their worst phobias, which led to the extremely entertaining sequence in which Leiden had a total meltdown over her phobia: Edward Scissorhands. Seeing Jonathon Pease patting her on the back while she wheezed and sobbed, saying, "Don't worry, babe, he's not here", was the highlight of the night.

It was mostly downhill from there...

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While we barracked for Alice all the way through cycle 3 of Australia's Next Top Model, it was plucky and hilarious "gangsta bitch" Jordan Loukas who we not-so-secretly loved.

Whether she was eating a box of teeth/lips-staining blueberries before a beauty shoot or piling Milo into a glass while deadpanning "It's good for me?", she was the comic relief of the show.

Well, thanks to her AusNTM champion, Charlotte Dawson, Jordan is heading back to LA.

The model wannabe has hit the US for Runway to LA, Fox8's reality series that follows her attempts to break into Tinseltown's cut-throat modelling industry.

Film crews will be following the leggy stunner and her model mentor Charlotte Dawson for two weeks as she goes to castings and is snapped for campaigns, but Loukas isn't strutting her stuff for just any old gig.

The show will air on Fox8 later this year, and we'll be jonesing for more Jordan gold.