champions
AC/DC Tops British Albums Chart, Soundly Flogs Kaiser Chiefs
11:32AM Jess McGuire | Hooray for Australia! Monday gave us word we’d bred the greatest karaoke singer of all time, and Tuesday I wake up to discover AC/DC have taken out the number one spot on the British albums chart, outselling their nearest competitors – a little band known as the Kaiser Chiefs – by, like, eighty to one (ish). And God saw that it was good.
Australian rock group AC/DC has hit the top of the British album charts for the first time in 28 years. The band’s 16th studio album Black Ice was outselling its nearest competitor, Kaiser Chief’s Off With Their Heads, by two to one at one point last week, The Guardian newspaper reported today.
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Australia’s Got Talented Karaoke Singers (And We Don’t Just Mean Our Idol Contestants!)
10:47AM Jess McGuire | Is there anything better on a Monday morning than waking up to discover one of your fellow Australians has been busy representing our great nation to the best of their abilities – and they’ve emerged victorious? No, there is nothing that can top the feeling of knowing you share your citizenship with a Deadset True Blue Champion. So brace yourselves, readers, for today is a wondrous day for us all.
Australian Michael Bates will live the dream of every slightly tipsy, off-key singer after being crowned world karaoke singing champion in Finland yesterday.
Bates took out the world karaoke championships ahead of Britain’s Anthony Garcia in Lahti, 100km north of Helsinki.
Too bad, so sad Britain! HAHAHAHA this is just like the cricket all over again! I think! I don’t really watch cricket but from what I can gather, it is very competitive! Especially when we play Britain! And we won the cricket last summer! I think! I don’t really follow it! Either way! You could say we’ve just won the karaoke Ashes! HAHAHAHA! Maybe he sang David Bowie’s Ashes To Ashes! I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore! I need more coffee! No, less coffee! COFFEE! KARAOKE! CRICKET! WOO!
Excuse me. I have just slapped myself in the face, so let’s continue… More » 
“I Was Like… SHIT! Someone Passed Me!” – Australia, Meet Your New Hero
9:42AM Jess McGuire | It seems like only a week ago we were pumping our fists in the air and calling Stephanie Rice the greatest Facebooker Australian Olympic hero evs, but it’s time for her step aside and make way for Defamer Australia’s newest champion, silver medal winning hurdler Sally McLennan.
Sally has won the hearts of a nation not only for her stunning performance on the track, but also (and more importantly) for her refreshingly honest post-race interview which featured brilliantly executed use of the word “SHIT!”,
McLellan, 21, hugged and danced in celebration with bronze medallist Priscilla Lopes-Schliep on the track after the results were announced.
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Understated Captioning Effort Of The Day
10:24AM Clem Bastow | We read with more than a little amusement this tale of a man taking a car for a “test drive” that lasted for 6200km; there’s nothing we like more than to start the day with a shot of true blue Aussie idiocy.
However, we laughed even harder when we saw the News.com.au efforts to sum up the tale with one witty caption on their front page:
That has to be the most cutting use of the word “unsurprisingly” we’ve seen in some time. But then, what do you expect – turns out the dude nicked the car before the dealer could ride shotgun for the test drive, then took it home, packed himself some clothes and toiletries in a relaxed manner, and then toodled off for Tennant Creek.
Clearly a frontrunner for the next Australian of The Year! More » 