celeb romance

Jordan Still Finds Peter Andre Attractive, Despite Recent Pie Eating

8:43AM Jess McGuire | The Daily Mail has some nice photos of Peter Andre sweating it out with a personal trainer in order to lose some pesky pounds which have covered his once chiseled six pack with a fine layer of flesh. Having recently read his autobiography (given to us as a birthday gift by our Associate Editor, THANKS CLEM), we know that Pete’s gaining of pounds is a direct result of Jordan’s demand he comfort eat with her during her pregnancy with son Junior, and we can only assume he dived head first into many plates of culinary crap once again when she was pregnant with their second child Princess Tiammii. Of course, we don’t think Peter looks too bad in the scheme of things, but the British media is sufficiently concerned about the issue to ask Jordan whether his newfound chunkiness has dampened the fires of lust in her loins in any way. Breathe a sigh of relief, romance lovers – it hasn’t. Wife Katie recently dismissed rumours that his ballooning weight has put her off him. She told a newspaper: “That’s ridiculous, bull**** stuff. I don’t care what he looks like.” But the glamour model admitted that he had been on a strick fitness regime for the last two weeks. She said: “I love him for him. I still fancy him as much as I ever did, definitely.” Awww, wonderful. This story has reminded us of how amazingly and hilariously rubbish Peter’s autobiography is (”All About Us – My Story”) and how we still mean to start popping up some of the best excerpts online. Let’s just say there’s a great passage involving one of his L.A girlfriends chasing him from the house with a baseball bat screaming “I GOT MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE HOOD!” More »

Dannii Minogue’s Chandeliers Are Destroying Her Sex Life!

9:14AM Jess McGuire | We are distraught at having to break the following heartbreaking news regarding Australia’s Got Talent judge Dannii Minogue and an unfortunate situation regarding lighting fixtures. ‘The X Factor’ judge – who recently confessed she is single and desperate to find a boyfriend – has been unable to invite anyone back to her place for weeks as the floor of her London home is covered in sparkling glass lamps. A source close to the star told BANG Showbiz: “Dannii bought all these new chandeliers but the guys who delivered them wouldn’t put them up. She hasn’t been able to find anyone to install them and so she hasn’t been able to have anybody round for over a month – the floor is covered in bits of chandelier. “Have anybody around” clearly being a nice euphemism for “rut in the privacy of her own home”, as far as we can tell. Terrible stuff! Whatever will Dannii do? The woman has needs, for god’s sake! “She spends all her time at her friends’ houses.” Ahh. Someone call Geldof and cancel VadgeAid – Dannii’s still scoring, just on the fold out bed at a mate’s place. PHEW! Thanks to our UK Correspondent Will for the heads up… LOVE YOU, WILLY!) More »

Suzie Wilkes Lands ‘Alias’ Spunk Michael Vartan Using Feminine Wiles, Her DIY Know-How, And A Shared Love Of Canines

11:25AM Jess McGuire | When we heard Michael Vartan was looking for an Australian woman to mate with and thus justify the expense and trouble of an international relocation to his new favourite place on earth, we figured he’s probably do an AJ Buckley and score himself a Home & Away starlet… or, if hard pressed, one of McLeod’s 8,43 daughters. But no! Apparently he’s more interested in the dog-loving ways of Suzie Wilkes. Says the Daily Telegraph… Vartan, who has become a regular down under, was overheard asking the former Changing Rooms chick for her number and questioning whether she would be interested in dinner. The couple, both animal lovers, bonded over a shared love of dogs. The American has said the one thing stopping him from upping stumps and moving to Australia is the strict quarantine restrictions surrounding the importing of pets. It’d be worth the effort, Michael. One of us! One of us! Also, we found this forum topic “interesting” – Does Suzie Wilkes like bumsex? No answers there, alas – but we do learn that a commenter wants “to do her up the bumhole”. More »

The Gauch Hopes To Lure Back Rollerblading Backpacker Ex With A B-Side

1:48PM Jess McGuire | Poor Natalie Gauci. The Australian Idol winner (whose single ‘Here I Am’ Kowalski-d its way straight to the number two spot in the ARIA charts) might have walloped Matt Corby at the series finale a few weeks back, but can that make up for having lost a lover in the pursuit of musical success? Well, maybe if the single had made it number one… She’s got a job ahead of her wooing fans to buy the “beautiful but boring” singer’s music, but Australian Idol Natalie Gauci has revealed she hasn’t given up hope of winning over the man she lost on her way to taking the title on this year’s TV talent show. The 26-year-old has released a B-side to her Idol winners single, inspired by her former boyfriend, backpacker Andrea Seidita. “It’s written about Andrea,” Gauci said of All In My Mind, which she penned in the days after their very public break-up. “When he left I was really upset, so I wrote that song. It’s a ballad about heartbreak. It’s probably one of my favourite originals. I’m really proud of it,” she said recently. There’s nothing quite like fresh pain to really get a single flying off the shelves, is there? Even though Andrea appears to be rutting The Gauch from behind whilst wearing rollerblades in the photo accompanying the article, we’re sure he’s a lovely backpacker type, and we wish Nat the best of luck when it comes to winning him back once the whole Idol thing turns to shit she finally gets a break in her hectic schedule. In conclusion, here’s a quote from the article which made us snigger like a teenage boy. “There’s no expectation or pressure. And he’s really sweet. He said, ‘I don’t want to hurt your feelings if I can’t come’ so that’s nice.” Isn’t it though? (bites tongue) More »

So Delta *Is* Marrying The Potato After All

2:57PM Clem Bastow | You know how everyone reported that Delta thought she was too young to become a stepmother – officially – to Brian McFadden’s kids and baulked at his romantic marriage proposal? The pair have almost disappointedly had to alert everyone to the fact that they are engaged after all, which has left the press about as thrilled and excited as Liberace upon finding a “CLOSED INDEFINITELY” sign on the door of his local Swarovski rhinestone warehouse. The statement reads: “The couple were hoping to keep the news private however they feel it is important to now confirm the exciting news.” Brian and Delta met when recording a duet together while he was still married to drug-addict Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona, with whom he has two children. They began dating shortly after Brian’s marriage to Kerry fell apart. Since then, McFadden has been involved in a divorce battle that cost him over £70,000 but is said to be re-launching his career in Hollywood. Clearly the UK press are really fond of the former Potato-Chipshops, if the number of sly digs in that excerpt are to be believed. Basically, reading between the lines there, he’s a washed up former pop wannabe who found a better option while married to his drug-addled washed-up wife, got taken to the cleaners by her and will probably fail in his desperate attempts to get his career back on track again. As one of the astute commenters on the Mail’s website says, “The jungle [i.e. I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!] beckons.” More »