celeb pregnancies
Naomi Watts Is Kinda, Sort Of, Pretty Much Apparently Pregnant (Again)
10:21AM Clem Bastow | “Our” Naomi Watts is apparently expecting another child with her partner Liev Schreiber – I say “apparently” because the ever reliable Us Weekly has the “exclusive”, and any “exclusive” that doesn’t “exclusively” involve the words coming “exclusively” out of Naomi Watts’ mouth is to be taken with a fairly large grain of salt.
So, “exclusively”, here’s the word from the mag:
Us Weekly has the “exclusive”, saying Naomi Watts, 39, is four months pregnant. The couple’s first child, Alexander “Sasha” Pete, is 11 months old.
When she was pregnant last year with her first child, her partner, Schreiber, 40, didn’t confirm the news until he casually told Conan O’Brien, “Yes, I’m going to be a dad.”
Naomi’s rep told Us she doesn’t comment on her client’s personal life.
See? Your story is on shaky ground when even Confidential calls it an “exclusive” (i.e. with the sarcastic Clerks-esque inverted commas).
So, Defamer Australia tentatively congratulates the happy family, with the small print on the congratulations reading “These warm-hearted congratulations become null and void if Us Weekly’s exclusive turns out to be total rubbish”.
It’s only fair, really. More » 
Is Nicole Pregnant Enough? Who The Bloody Hell Cares!
9:01AM Clem Bastow | Right, we’re going to take this moment to declare a ban on any further press speculation about Nicole Kidman’s pregnant tummy (note: NOT her “baby bump”, which is a repugnant term than infantilises one of a woman’s most womanly times).
It’s no secret that pregnant celebrities get a hard time, though it used to be – in the case of, for example, Kate Hudson or Milla Jovovich – that they were “too fat!” or “can’t stop eating for two!”
Quite frankly we feel the flipside of that, this unnerving obsession with Nicole Kidman’s pregnant tum – or apparent lack of, if you listen to the frothing tabloids – is even more off. It seems she’s not pregnant enough! She must be lying! There’s no baby in there, maybe Keith’s having it! Ho, ho. ho! Sadly, we’re not making it up, either – all of those sentiments have been aired by newspapers and magazines over the past few months.
And now:
Of course they’d say they were referring to the “Little Kidman” that was “growing” inside her, but honestly, if the past month is anything to go by, it’s just another thinly-veiled slight at Nicole’s apparent inability to be “properly” pregnant.
Or perhaps you’d prefer this charming effort, from the Daily Mail?
Enough! She’s doing fine, the baby’s doing fine, her marriage is fine, can we all find something else to talk about now? More » 
Uk Press Says Our Nic’s Pregnancy Not Happy Occasion, Actually Filled With Financial And Family Woes
11:31AM Clem Bastow | What a difference a large ocean and 12 or so hours in time zone shifts makes when it comes to joyous celebrity pregnancy announcements.
It seems our distant relos across the pond have a rather different view of Nicole Kidman’s recently announced pregnancy than our own press does. Where the Aussie media is happily reporting tales of dad Anthony and mum Janelle delivering the baby and Nicole hanging out at the family home while she takes her antenatal rest, the UK press has another slant on it all, and it’s decidedly less rosy.
Nicole, 40, is said by friends to favour giving birth in the state-of-the-art luxury of Sydney’s Prince of Wales private hospital – a procedure that will cost about £23,000.
But she is deeply concerned that doing so will upset her sister Antonia, to whom she is very close.
Antonia has had all four of her own children at the state-funded Royal Hospital for Women next door – and is adamant it is the best.
To complicate matters still further, Antonia presents a TV show called From Here To Maternity, which charts the trials and tribulations of the labour ward of the Royal Hospital.
“If Nicole goes private, the birth will cost in the region of 50,000 Australian dollars,” says my source. “The family are joking that this is going to be a million-dollar baby.”
So, just in case you missed it, Nicole Kidman is NOT a happy, glowing mum-to-be with a supportive family around her, and rather she is a conniving, money-splashing bitch who wants to make her little sister cry and will stop at nothing to bring this baby into the world wrapped in 24k gold swaddling.
We’re sorry the truth had to come all the way from London, but we’re glad we know what’s up. More »
Our Nic Now Officially “With Child” – Nation Celebrates, Etc!
11:06AM Jess McGuire | Good news, readers! Finally proving the gossip rags right (well, two years of continuously screaming “SHE’S PREGNANT” ensured they were bound to be correct eventually), it seems Nicole Kidman is indeed expecting her first child with Keith Urban.
Nicole Kidman and husband Keith Urban are expecting their first child, her rep confirms.
“The couple are thrilled,” Catherine Olim says in a statement.
For Kidman, this will be her third child. She and her former husband, Tom Cruise adopted two children during their marriage: Isabella, now 15, and Connor, 12.
Awww. Finally, the foolproof “Keith Urban’s hand hovering protectively around a belly” pregnancy test has delivered the goods! We look forward to the pappz taking plenty of snaps of the aforementioned hand guarding the unborn Kidman-Urban spawn while it bulks up “in utero” over the next few months. More » The Unfolding Mystery Of Chipshop’s Un-Miscarriage
12:31PM Clem Bastow | We touched on Kerry “Chipshop” Katona’s pregnancy issues earlier in the week, so we were saddened to read this morning that the ex-Mrs Brian McFadden had suffered a miscarriage – until we switched tabloids and discovered that, apparently, she didn’t miscarry after all.
Confused? So are we (and, we’re guessing, so is Kerry).
Her publicist Max Clifford added: “After further examination it has been revealed that Kerry Katona is still pregnant.
“Kerry went back into hospital for a medical procedure on Tuesday night.
“However, a blood test revealed surprising results – her pregnancy hormones had gone up, not down.
“Kerry was taken for a second scan and was shown her baby’s 3mm heart beat. It has transpired that Kerry is only five weeks pregnant, not seven-eight weeks, which is why the scan was not clear and coupled with bleeding led to her being diagnosed with having had a miscarriage.”
We’d say something about women learning to wait until the three-month mark to announce their pregnancies, but somehow doubt – as much as it pains us to admit it – that Chipshop is fervently browsing Defamer Australia in her hospital bed.
So does this mean that the British press can go back to blaming her troubles on pre-natal “enjoyment” of class A drugs now?
Tune in next week! More » 
Fears For Chipshop Baby
11:04AM Clem Bastow | Kerry “Chipshop” Katona, ex-wife of Brian “Potato” McFadden, alias Mr Delta Goodrem, is pregant with her fourth child, only this pregnancy is – according to “pals” and The Sun – not going so well.
Could it have anything to do with a previous scandal, the amazing headline of which is illustrating this story, aired by the Brit tabloids recently?
A source said: “She’s had problems with her other pregnancies – and this time she has been losing a lot of blood.
“The doctors weren’t sure exactly what the problem was at first, but now they know and it’s not looking good at all.â€
Despite the fact that Atomic Kitten were never better than when Chipshop left the group, this is (if it’s true) worrying news, and we hope all will soon be well in the world of the chav princess (provided it’s not due to drug use or poor parenting, in which case we will tut loudly).
No word on whether Delta had been spotted clutching a modified ‘Barbie Happy Family’ pregnant Midge doll and a packet of voodoo pins. More » 