celeb personal hygiene

Nicola Girls Aloud’s Makeup Range: No Darkies Allowed!

2:27PM Clem Bastow | Hold your horses, politically correct types! Naturally, when we say “darkies”, we mean “nothing darker than unbleached toilet paper or quartz sand”. Yes, Nicola, Girls Aloud’s pale and fragile member (not the first time her milky-white limbs have made news, either), has branched out into the wonderful world of celebrity “product” and has launched a range of makeup specifically for lasses with paler complexions. As part of an ITV challenge, Nicola apparently realised a “life-long dream” by launching the range of sun-sensible slap. She said: “For years I felt like the ugly one in Girls Aloud. I was tall, skinny, with red hair and the whitest skin you’ve ever seen – standing next to to four of the most gorgeous girls in Britain. More »

Celine Dion Does Not “Do” Australian Air

2:20PM Clem Bastow | With every passing day we’re starting to realise how much we actually love Celine Dion. A cursory glance through Defamer Australia’s history will reveal as much, but she’s just so lovably crazy we want to eat her up with a spoon! And her first few moments in Australia (on tour) are no exception to the rule, getting about like Michael Jackson (though we’re not sure whether it’s to stop her from infecting everyone else, or vice versa): Celine Dion brought back memories of the SARS days on the Gold Coast yesterday, appearing in a medical mask when leaving her luxury hotel with husband Rene Angelil and son Rene-Charles. The French-Canadian warbler has angered fans by postponing her Brisbane concert, due to a throat infection and “irritated sinuses”. Oh Celine! You had us at It’s All Coming Back To Me Now. Speaking of which, some mid-afternoon power balladry for you, after the jump! Motorcycles! Lightning! Possibly excessive use of wind machines! Enjoy! More »

Heath Ledger Scares Subway Passengers, And Not In Some Method Acting Prep For Joker, Either

10:11AM Clem Bastow | We can’t decide if Heath Ledger’s particularly shambolic nature post-break-up with Michelle Williams is due to his having been living hard and fast, or whether he is a textbook example of having “let himself go”. His hobo chic might have been giving out clues suggesting the latter is the case, but now a bunch of subway travellers have noted that Ledger seems to be taking his ‘derelicte’ look a little too far. “I got quite a whiff,” one onlooker, who came within sniffing distance of the Oscar-nominated star, tells OK!. “He smelled pretty unwashed.” The 10 Things I Hate About You star, who split from girlfriend and babymama Michelle Williams this summer, added a few more reasons to dislike him with his now-trademark homeless-chic look: red-framed sunglasses, an oversize lilac knitted hat and a fleece-lined jacket. “It’s clearly never seen the inside of a laundromat,” the witness tells. Poor Heath. It seems his fine work in Brokeback Mountain is but a distant memory as he’s destined to be known as a former teen star who broke up with his more-famous partner. All the “Jack Twist, I swear…”s in the world won’t save him now! More »