celeb parenting
Christina Aguilera Gets Parenting Tips From Nicole Richie
12:36PM Jess McGuire | I always like hearing about celebrity parents hanging out together, and the fact that photos in gossip magazines featuring Toby Maguire’s daughter Ruby Sweetheart playing with Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale’s firstborn Kingston makes me gooey is yet another compelling reason I should be punched in the face repeatedly until I agree to get a life.
Apparently Christina Aguilera didn’t hold any grudges over Nicole Richie having “the more interesting baby”, and she’s turned to her fellow young mum for parenting advice.
Christina said: “I didn’t know much about Nicole, but because our little ones are born one day apart and through mutual friends I’ve had the opportunity of getting to know her and I was blown away with how great of a mom she is. I actually ask her for advice because she has a lot of great things that she does for her little one. She’s a little stricter with toys than I am. She’s a great woman.”
Bless them to bits.
Christina then goes on to defend Nicole over her past reputation as a party girl. More » 
Peter Andre And Jordan’s Former Nanny Declares The Pair “Selfish And Self-Centred”
9:59AM Jess McGuire | We are utterly shocked at revelations in the British tabloids over the weekend that Peter Andre and Jordan may not be the most responsible parents in the world. But that’s exactly the picture deftly painted by former nanny Becky Gauld in her tell-all with News Of The World. It’s a fascinating and lengthy read, so we’ll just let NOTW deliver their punchy summary and you can toddle off to read the whole thing on your own.
She tells how Jordan:
ALLOWED overweight thyroid disorder sufferer Harvey to eat TWENTY chicken nuggets at once— even though she’d been told by doctors he could DIE if he didn’t diet.
WAS QUIZZED by SOCIAL SERVICES after the blind autistic youngster scalded himself in a bath of hot water.
ASTONISHINGLY sent Becky a TEXT from her bed summoning her nanny from her cottage in the grounds of the £2.5 million mansion at 4AM… because the star couldn’t be bothered to get up and cope with Junior crying in a nearby room.
TAUGHT Harvey to say “f*** off just so she and Andre could raise a laugh from their friends at a barbecue.
That last point being the perfect excuse for us to revisit one of our favourite YouTube videos of all time – Harvey’s response to Peter’s ridiculous claim of being “patronised”.
Kids say the darndest things, eh? More » Naomi Watts Plans On Slowing Her Career Down In Favour Of Spending Time With The Bub
9:25AM Jess McGuire | Don’t expect Naomi Watts to be all up in your cinematic grill over the next couple of years – she’s decided to cease her previous inspirational approach to work which saw her pump out, like, 87 films per year, instead choosing to spend some quality time with the wee baby boy Alexander Pete she and Liev Schreiber went halvsies in not that long ago.
The yummy mummy has revealed she plans to make fewer movies so she can spend more time with her five-month-old son Alexander.
“I want to stick with just one or two films a year now,” the Eastern Promises star said.
“I’m OK right now. I’m sure more will come but I wanted to be a mother for so long and that was a really big deal for me. After Mulholland Drive I did go a little crazy, doing two or three things a year.”
Perhaps Naomi Watts has learned from the mistakes of best friend forevs Nicole Kidman, since the former BMX Bandit’s post-Cruise divorce frantic movie making schedule ended up resulting in her two children no longer referring to her as “Mum”.
Somewhere in Colorado over Christmas, we can only hope that due to some distant, foggy memory in the back of Bella Cruise’s mind, Nic’s daughter at least contemplating calling “that ginger lady in Australia, you know the one… ummm.. married the pretty boy country star. God, Connor – what’s her name again? Oh man, this is embarrassing! Dad? Mom? You know the one we’re talking about – quite lanky, wore a funny nose in that movie about the sad woman? Natalie? Oh… NICOLE? Are you sure? Really? I could have sworn it was Natalie. Nevermind. Let’s get e-metered before soccer!”
Poor Our Nic :( More » Nation Relieved To Discover Claudia Karvan Is Still A Hot Tamale After Babies
9:10AM Jess McGuire | Lately it seems we’re living in a world where celebrity mothers are proving to be revolting creatures in the eyes of the hard to impress journalists of the world’s tabloids. Yes, we’re looking at you, Britain’s Daily Mail. Specifically your recent “piece” on Cindy Crawford where you actually used lines like – AND WE QUOTE – “even supermodels suffer from the unsightly signs of motherhood” and “Motherhood has taken its toll on the supermodel” because the 41 year old mother of two happens to be the owner of a couple of stretch marks.
So we were glad to wake and discover that our very own spunky Claudia Karvan (and, more importantly, her post-baby body) has earned rave reviews from the Daily Telegraph.
We loved her way when she was filming along the coastal hot spots in Sydney.
But it was Melbourne’s turn to get a good long look at yummy mummy
Claudia Karvan’s sensational bod as she filmed at a tourist spot this
week.
The
working mum left Audrey, 6, and Albie, 1, with carers while she paraded
around Wilsons Promontory in her bikini shooting a scene for the
upcoming psychological thriller Long Weekend.
Phwooooooar! Thank god a photographer was there to capture her beachside glory.
LIFT YOUR GAME, WOMEN OF THE WORLD, OR YOU TOO WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE UNFLATTERING CAMERA ANGLE!
Etc.
More » Warwick Capper Shocks Absolutely No One By Acting Like A Tool In Public Yet Again
7:56AM Jess McGuire | Warwick Capper, somehow finding time out from his impressively busy schedule which involves the filming of pornos, forging a career in politics, and horrifying Gold Coast citizens by wandering around as a meter maid in hotpants, managed to get himself into trouble over the weekend after instructing his thirteen year old son to unleash the fury during a game of footy.
The incident occurred on Saturday at Broadbeach Oval, where Indiana Capper’s Southport Sharks were playing the Surfers Paradise Demons. The former Sydney and Brisbane star midway through the first quarter reportedly shouted, “Just bash ‘em” to his son. According to Surfers Paradise Demons team mum Sue Cross, Capper’s behaviour left parents shocked and appalled.
Surely Warwick’s behaviour can be excused as the actions of a man swept up in uncontrollable feverish excitement ignited by witnessing the thrilling West Side Story-esque rivalry between enemy suburbs Southport and Surfers Paradise being played out on a football pitch by athletic teens?
Also, Defamer Australia is taking bets on just what Warwick’s next headline grabbing activity will be, considering the man hasn’t really done anything useful for years and yet he’s managed to turn up in the news seemingly on a fortnightly basis for some reason or another
More » 
Britney’s Babies Call Out For Help From Supermarket Checkout Aisle
8:10AM Defamer Hollywood | With the simultaneous release of covers stories trumpeting the plight of Britney Spears’ two young sons [Ed.note - Weren't there three at one point? Maybe she left one in the Bellagio on her last trip to Vegas. Pls. research.] in progressive-parenting journals Us Weekly and Life & Style, an air-raid siren has been sounded at the headquarters of California Child Protective Services, and a van full of baby-repossession officers immediately dispatched to the Spears residence to investigate explosive charges of infant over-juicing, toddler teeth-whitening, and high-end real estate squatting. Should the harried mum be unable to adequately defend her parenting skills during the home visit, Sean Preston and the other one will be sold off at auction, a radical – but far more humane – option than turning over full custody to their biological father. Britney: Tried to Get Son’s Teeth Whitened (And Worse) [US Weekly] Britney’s Babies: Help Us! [Life&Style] More »
K-Fed Determined To Save His Children Before Britney’s Dog Poops On Them, Too
4:00AM Defamer Hollywood | If there were any lingering doubts as to whether Britney Spears was a pop star significantly past the verge of a nervous breakdown, they were answered at her now infamous OK! magazine cover shoot, in which the celeb glossy – having witnessed their subject perform a number of highly inappropriate acts, including the defiling of designer-wear with a combination of fried chicken grease and lapdog droppings–was forced to compromise their “nice” editorial voice by splashing the unflattering photos across their pages. Spears’ former pimp/fertiliser Kevin Federline is now reportedly seeking full custody of his children: A longtime Britney pal says, “[A former Spears assistant] gave specific instances where Brit couldn’t handle having the kids. Kevin was angry at Britney for putting his kids in jeopardy and immediately phoned his lawyer to investigate the claims further. He couldn’t believe she had gotten so out of control.” More »
Britney Spears Reportedly Not Diddling Her Manny
5:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Every so often, the tabloid media’s desperate desire to see a positive male influence enter troubled pop star Britney Spears’ turbulent life gets the better of it (after all, gossip-sheet editors want nothing but her happiness), an overzealousness that results in stories of romantic attachments to any nearby Superman who might swoop down from the clouds and halt the runaway train of her post-Federline existence moments before it hurtles off a cliff. People corrects the record on recent reports that Spears and paparazzi deflector/infant deceleration specialist Daimon Shippen are, to use the parlance of our celebrity-obsessed times, “totally doing it.” “He’s her bodyguard and manny,” says a source familiar with Shippen’s employment. “They’re not dating.” More »
Catherine Zeta-Jones Explains How Michael Douglas Managed To Get In Her Pants
11:39AM Jess McGuire | It’s time to add another chapter to The Big Book Of Deeply Moving Celebrity Love Stories, because Catherine Zeta-Jones has revealed the magically seductive pick up line thrown her way by Hollywood’s favourite sex addict Michael Douglas.
In an interview with US magazine Parade due out this Sunday, Zeta-Jones, routinely voted one of the world’s sexiest women, relates how Douglas wooed her with the some would say cheesy line, ‘I want to father your children.’
Clearly Zeta-Jones wasn’t thinking straight when she found herself swooning at the notorious wick-dipper’s one liner, because in practical terms Douglas was essentially saying “Allow me to place my old man penis inside you, shuffle about for a while, and then leave a sticky mess which in nine months time will result in a small creature who will both scream and defecate incessantly for a tediously lengthy amount of time.”
“Months later, we were dating, and I was already in love with him,” she told the magazine. “But there was one thing I had to be sure of. I turned to him and said, ‘Do you really want children?’ And I thought, for that one minute, he was going to say, ‘I already have a son, Cameron,’ and I would have to say goodbye. “I remember saying defiantly, ‘I cannot live without having children.’ And he went, ‘Me too’.”
“Me too” – a rapidly ageing man’s way of saying “Oh god, let me just touch it once before I die, I beg of you.”
PS: For the record, we actually quite like Michael Douglas. More » 
Our Pop Stars Just Can’t Compete With The British In Terms Of Scandal (Part One)
10:49PM Jess McGuire | Bryan/Brian McFadden’s ex wife (and, by default, Delta Goodrem’s mortal enemy), ex-Atomic Kitten “star” Kerry Katona, has been the target of a rather juicy tell all in the British tabloids over the weekend.
You see, her housekeeper and husband’s ex missus – are you with us? – has told News Of The World that Kerry didn’t exactly abstain from celebrity excess whilst pregnant with her youngest child Heidi.
Disgraced pop star Kerry Katona sank to shameful new depths— risking her baby’s life by snorting deadly cocaine during pregnancy.
Kerry, 26, claims she has been clean for over a year but friend and housekeeper Louise Oortwyn sensationally revealed last night: “I saw her sniff lines of coke when she was four months gone.”
And the fallen pop star, twice named Celebrity Mum of the Year, knew very well she was putting her unborn daughter Heidi in deadly danger as she knelt to sniff the killer white powder.
But she just paused for a second, patted her bump and wondered lamely: “I’ll be all right, won’t I?”
Then she quickly hoovered up the deadly class A drug, sending the poison surging into her body AND the baby’s. The awful risks barely registered with the former Atomic Kitten singer as she went on to snort line after line—stopping only to swill down white wine.
Celebrity Mum of the Year, indeed.
Things took a turn for the blurst when a hopped up Kerry tried to have a conversation with a wooden horse, confesses Louise.
“After a few days of no sleep she got really paranoid—sat with her arms round her knees, rocking backwards and forwards.
“Then it got weird. For Christmas Mark had bought the kids a toy horse that neighed and now Kerry was having a conversation with it, making whinnying noises back. She was babbling nonsense at it and said to me, ‘Louise, he’s talking to me.’ I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
Well, considering we once took a ginger midget blow up doll to a Boxing Day party as our date, we’ll perhaps hold back from judging Kerry too harshly about her conversations with equine timber toys. Sometimes you’ve got to take friendship wherever you can get it! And at least the wooden horse would be fairly unlikely to sell tales of your drug binges to the press, no matter how tough times got. More » 