cavemen
NHL Player/’Vogue’ Intern Movie Ushers In New ‘Chock Flick’ Genre
6:20AM Seth | The story we could just never seem to wrap our heads around—that of Sean Avery, former New York Rangers player and Vogue (for women) fashion intern—will perhaps reveal its mysteries in New Line’s movie about his slapshot-fabulous life. (Hey—Slapshot Fabulous! There’s your title!) [THR] More online-incubated series pickups: CBS ordered We Need Girlfriends, based on the YouTube series of the same name, and put the Cavemen team of Bill Martin and Mike Schiff in charge. [Variety] So we can’t have an Arrested Development movie, but we can have a Blue Man Group movie? Where is the justice? (And Tobias is available for readings.) [Variety] David Strathairn, Alan Alda, Jeff Daniels, Mary-Louise Parker and Paul Rudd have joined the cast of Howl, which already stars James Franco in yet another movie based on the life of a famous American Gay. (Keep it coming, Franco!) [THR] Amanda Seyfriend and Channing Tatum will play star-crossed, wartime lovers in Dear John, based on a book by the same author as The Notebook. We understand that there’s only a nominal amount of stepping-up involved. [Variety] More »
Short Ends: David And Maddie Make A Writers Strike Seem Like A Lot Of Fun
6:35AM Defamer Hollywood | On second thought, maybe a strike won’t be that bad. Who wouldn’t like to see the cast of Cavemen singing “Wooly Booly”? And speaking of cavemen, here are instructions on how to make your own insurance-hawking Neanderthal costume, just in time for the day after Halloween. · Get ready for a world-rocking nerdgasm: The original cast of MST3K is reuniting for Cinematic Titanic, a new project that will involve the creative savaging of bad movies. ·RIP, NBC’s DotComedy. Owen Wilson can’t even pee with the stall door open anymore without his publicist having to make a statement. More »
Trade Roundup: Fox Planning ‘Prison Break: Chicks In Lock-Up Edition’
6:45AM Defamer Hollywood | · Why does it take the threat of a strike for people to start cranking out the truly genius ideas? Fox has ordered a script that could generate a Prison Break spin-off set in a women’s penitentiary, a project that would be perfect for Michelle Rodriguez once she concludes some previous obligations. [THR] · Jessica Biel will star in the United Artists of Tom Cruise-produced thriller Die a Little, a project during which the actress will be evaluated for her potential fitness as Katie Holmes’ inevitable replacement. Hey, Holmes can’t stay young enough to pretend to have his robot babies forever. [Variety] More »
Trade Roundup: Kiefer Sutherland Accepts ‘24′-Friendly Jail Sentence
6:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Showing a Baueresque level of self-sacrifice, Kiefer Sutherland takes one for his TV team, pleading out to 48 days of jail time that can be served on a two-stint schedule that won’t interrupt the shooting of 24, even though he probably could have served fewer days if he’d opted for a consecutive sentence. If eighteen months of being tortured by the Chinese couldn’t break him, seven weeks should be a breeze. [THR] · Hollywood Out of Ideas, Indestructible Cyborgs Edition: Warner Bros. snags the rights to Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, hoping to reboot the franchise with a new storyline that span over three films. Cameron Diaz to star. [Variety] More »
Trade Roundup: Johnny Drama Just Trying To Get Off The Viking Quest Convention Circuit
5:00AM Defamer Hollywood | · Oh, Johnny Drama, you’re so much better than this: Kevin Dillon will star in the 300 spoof National Lampoon’s 301: The Legend of Awesomest Maximus Wallace Leonidas. Will someone please book him for some personal appearances and save him from this kind of strike-insurance slumming? [Variety] Cavemen’s overhauled series premiere “performed OK” in the Tuesday night Nielsens, while House lead Fox to victory in primetime. [THR] · Natalie Portman joins the cast of the remake of the Danish love-triangle drama Brothers, in which she’ll play the sister-in-law boinked by dreamy-eyed homewrecker Jake Gyllenhaal while sleepy-eyed soldier Tobey Maguire is off fighting in Afghanistan. [Variety] More »ABC Finally Debuts Its Less Racially Insensitive Cavemen
3:30AM Defamer Hollywood | With a controversy-shy ABC having retooled all of the potentially inflammatory, racial-allegory material out of the version of Cavemen that finally debuted last night, the show was forced to generate edgy laughs by having its put-upon Neanderthals participate in activities for which primitive Man would seem hilariously ill-suited, like selling futons at a fictionalised Ikea, participating in a round of Wii golf following a shopping spree, and playing squash in country club-quality outfits that would cause them to surrender whatever small amount of cave-cred they had left. We’ll let you be the judge of how effective they were in the squash scene, but we’ll admit that by the fifth or so time we had to listen to the Andy and Joel characters whine about their relationships, we thought we were just watching a version of Tell Me You Love Me with more unsightly body hair and less fucking. Cavemen [ABC.com] More »
Delaying The Inevitable
3:15AM Defamer Hollywood | As it turns out, ABC knew exactly what it was doing when it decided not to let the media get an advance look at the Cavemen premiere, a strategy that forestalled the show’s critical bludgeoning until after it aired. [Metacritic] More »Confrontational Caveman Exposes ‘The View’ Co-Host’s Prejudice
7:05AM Defamer Hollywood | Even though the network might not want critics to have advance access to its retooled Cavemen premiere (weirdly, as we typed those words, we could’ve sworn we heard Peter Krause whispering from the sidebar, “The comedy that has everyone talking debuts at 8 p.m. tonight , only on ABC”), they realise the importance of making sure that awareness of the show is high among audiences who expect intellectual engagement from their television programming. More »
