When Extra revealed on Tuesday that Joaquin Phoenix had announced his mumbled retirement from acting, little did we know that the video of said declaration (captured at Monday's Paul Newman charity benefit) would immediately enshrine itself in the annals of red carpet awkwardness forever. Thanks to a clip furnished by E!, we've got the entire, baffling experience, as an out-of-it Phoenix confesses all to Extra correspondent Jerry Penacoli, takes offense at Penacoli's disbelieving laughter, then storms off.

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PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Jessica Alba cut in the breakfast line at the Griddle Cafe.

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On last night's Late Show, guest Amy Adams and David Letterman decided to review one of poufy-lipped red carpet host Lisa Rinna's numerous gaffes on Oscar night. And after seeing this particular stomach-turning foul for the third time, we're gonna have to agree with Letterman and Adams, who essentially came to the conclusion that the soap star turned Joan Rivers 2.0 "should be fired." The best part? Even Rinna agrees!

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· Following through on its threats to abandon the traditional TV development system, NBC picks up Kath & Kim* straight to series with a six episode order, bypassing the wasteful, "let's see if this actually works when we try and shoot it" pilot phase. (*In fairness, this is a Pre-Proven Foreign Hit, so domestic success is virtually guaranteed.) [Variety]
· Brittany Murphy CareerWatch: the actress signs on for the indie Across the Hall, and is considering a chance to replace thrice-rehabbed insurance nightmare Lindsay Lohan in the troubled Poor Things. [THR]
· Casey Affleck is cast in the yet-to-be-scripted adaptation of Tom Epperson's period noir drama The Kind One, in which he'll play the most adorable (pinch his cheeks! Jump on his face!) amnesiac who makes the mistake of falling in love with a sadistic killer's girlfriend Hollywood has ever seen. [Variety]

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Having only recently declared him the Most Adorable Thing Ever, we must admit the video above might force us to reexamine our Casey Affleck position. Showing all the ill-tempered signs of someone who's survived a childhood rife with Ben-inflicted noogie and wedgie abuse, Affleck's SAG Awards interaction with Lisa Rinna demonstrates the most shocking disregard for pre-awards-show social conventions we've seen since Jeremy Piven openly questioned the salvageability of Billy Bush's very existence at the 2006 Emmys.

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· The only way that Casey Affleck could've been more adorable on Oprah would have been to do his interview while completely covered in newborn kittens wearing tiny cowboy hats.
· Actress Dani Miura tells LAist about what it's like to work as To Catch A Predator's paedophile-bait.
· Real therapists lament the media's obsession with inaccurately diagnosing Britney Spears' mental problems when a simple, effective "batshit insane" would get the job done without sullying their field.
· The Daily Show and Colbert Report's writers went to Washington to fill in Congress on this whole strike deal: "'I ask you,' one writer noted, 'which is more important to a movie -- a script, or half of Reese Witherspoon?'" The studio suits thought for a second. 'Which half?'"

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· Someone has finally taken the time to demonstrate the career-safe way to spoil Indiana Jones plot-points.
·Emmy-winning blogspotter Ken Levine imagines how present-day CBS would have promoted its All in the Family-era Saturday night line-up.
· Among the 9 Worst Asian Characters of All Time: Short Round, Long Duk Dong, and the Last Samurai Tom Cruise.
· Hasn't Casey been overshadowing Ben ever since Ocean's 11?