It's that time of year again, when Hollywood's biggest stars harvest their multiplex crops, drop the hammer on their mums and size up their places among Forbes's annual list of highest-paid movie stars. As we've come to expect, it's Will Smith's world, with the megastar and noted Scientology-school patron raking in $80 million since last June; the remainder of the list comprises mainstays like Johnny Depp ($72 million) and Leonardo DiCaprio ($45 million) along with slip-sliding shockers including Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, each tied at $55 million thanks in large part to the Shrek franchise's enduring success.

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Whenever a long-standing couple like Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel hit the skids, we feel the need to play Emma and set the lovelorn kids up with someone new ASAP. And since we were the ones who debunked the news that Jimmy had already rebounded with one of his writers, we feel like we should continue our tradition of suggesting a few paramours for the pair of funny people. See our suggestions after the jump.

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In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we've underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway's least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared to pull out those hair curlers in what could be the beginning move in a new strategy to finally flee the Knights of Hubbard. Though Kate's "boyish" cut may backfire, it's a clever plan nonetheless. Below, we provide five of the best examples of drastic 'do-caused catastrophes directly linked to highly publicized breakups, from Jennifer Aniston's self-conscious bob that led to Brangelina, to Cameron Diaz's unfortunate goth dye job that failed to inspire any future sex or love sounds from Justin Timberlake:

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In the latest issue of W, cover girl Penelope Cruz assures the reporter that she "never talk[s] about her private life to journalists...NEVER," Of course, a few grafs above, the pretty little beard-candy spends much of the interview talking, in great detail, about the most private of private issues we didn't even know we wanted to know! Penelope's "inner monsters" that have ruined her so-called relationships, why "sweating and bleeding" is her idea of "happiness," and far more after the jump:

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Shouldn't single actresses know by now that giant diamonds worn on a particular finger shouldn't be flaunted in public? Cameron Diaz was photographed sporting an ostentatious sparkler yesterday in Santa Monica, suspiciously displaying the gory piece on her engagement ring-reserved finger in a very blatant manner. But considering she's just barely started dating former cokehead/Jennifer Aniston ex Paul Sculfor, and has been linked to half a dozen other canoodling partners in the past few months, we're not jumping on the "Diaz Engaged!" bandwagon quite yet. The notoriously anti-paparazzi actress might have just wanted to fuck with her camera-flashing enemies. Still, whenever a star makes the decision to debut a big ol' gem there, it's proven tough to gage those inevitable engagement rumors' validity. We looked back at celebrity diamond-spotting of the past, from the most firm denials that led to splashy weddings, to the sure things that turned out to be false alarms, after the jump.

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Just when Hollywood has seemingly runs out of ideas, it appears that the city of Los Angeles has also run out of dateable men. Two of Tinseltown's most eligible bachelorettes, Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, have searched far and wide for the right arm candy, only to wind up scraping the bottom of the boy barrel. And their respective plights have gotten so dismal that the "sex-obsessed" blonde and "clingy" brunette are now swapping leftovers. As we already know far too well, Aniston has been gritting her teeth through this summer's most mysterious celebrity relationship with John Mayer, one of Diaz's former flings. And rumours earlier this month linking Diaz to a certain cokehead model have gained credibility after the actress was photographed out and about with the pretty-but-pretty-dumb Paul Sculfor. But the tale turns even more tragic: yet another sorry excuse for a man has nailed both A-listers, and managed to walk away the winner:

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Just a week after Britney Spears' rumoured sex tape forced us to envision bald celebrity sex, Cameron Diaz is flouncing around the set of her new movie wearing a fitted baldie cap for the role. And screaming at us from the newsstands about how much she loves sex. And making out with her co-stars. All of it burning images into our heads we'd really rather erase for life. Because Diaz isn't only making us picture her hairless visage rolling around the sheets with Jason Patric — we're now forced to imagine what it looked like when the Coneheads stripped down and got it on. More pictures after the jump.

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We've already made our case for why the Wachowskis' overstuffed Gran Turismo-on-Salvia fever dream and Kutcher and Diaz's feature-length sexual-health instructional film will likely limp their way across the box office finish line this Monday. But that still leaves filmgoers with a taxing dilemma: Which of the two movies would they rather see less? Clocking in nearly neck-and-neck in their bottom-of-the-class Tomatometer scores, it's anyone's race. Perhaps mainstream film critics—and the pun-loving headline writers who really sell the bile—can help you decide:

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Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly source of tips, hints and handicapping for the latest in moviegoing. Today we catch up with projections for the not-so-mystifyingly buzz-less Speed Racer, gauge Iron Man's potential for a second straight week at No. 1, survey the landscape for our favourite underdog on the scene (hint: She shoots a mean game of pool), and browse the DVD stacks for noteworthy new titles. As always, our opinions are our own, but they're also right — Wachowskis be damned.

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Casual nudity enthusiast Sienna Miller became an official card-carrying member of that elite group of celebrities who unleash their hate of paparazzi by way of physical assault. As the Daily Mail reports, Miller swung her pricey purse at one pap's face yesterday at LAX, possibly because he was a resident of Pittsburgh, or maybe she simply mistook him for Jude Law (as the pictures show, there is a resemblance to the nanny-loving baldie). But Sienna's moment of outrage prompted us to recall our all-time favourite When Celebrities Attack moments in time, from Woody Harrelson's caught-on-tape choke-hold to Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz's romantically executed freakout years ago. Our five top picks after the jump:

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