buh bye
Australian Idol Round-Up: For Once, The Nation Gets It Right!
11:30AM Clem Bastow | Remember, back in the olden times of Australian Idol, when the better contestants would be sent packing, while the cute but tuneless teens’ choices overstayed their welcome by weeks? Now, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think we may have reached a point where Australian Idol voters have actually grown a clue or two: to wit, it’s time to go, Tom Williams! Yes, the tone-deaf teen whose voice may not have actually broken yet will be spared from Matt Corby-esque women’s-nightie-and-fedora wardrobe choices in future episodes, as he’s been sent packing, no doubt with a bumper pack of Kleenex in hand:
For the second week in a row a teenager left Australian Idol in tears with 16-year-old Tom Williams being shown the door last night.
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Australian Idol Round-Up: Buh Bye, Brooke
2:06PM Clem Bastow | Another week, another cookie crumbles for the Idol hopefuls (and another metaphor we probably won’t use again), with this week’s loser lowest-vote-getter being the twitchy-nosed Brooke Addamo. Yes, it seems not even Addamo’s Bewitched-esque facial-tics-while-singing were enough to save her from the dreaded “Why don’t you show Australia why you made it this far?”-prompted performance. The 17-year-old’s exit brings the finalist tally to Ten.
“Last night I was a bit tearful but this morning I’m feeling better,” she told LIVENEWS.com.au.
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Australian Idol Round-Up: Jonny Taylor, The Man So Memorable Everyone Forgot He’d Left
8:38AM Clem Bastow | Pity poor Jonny Taylor; first he eats bitumen in a motorcycle accident that causes him only to be able to communicate via the power of soulful™ atmospheric rock songs and paintings of post-apocalyptic landscapes featuring screaming, bald heads, then his hair is attacked by the last remaining bottle of Fudge Raspberry Beret Paintbox dye on the planet, then his mother solemnly informs him that the family will only be able to afford clothes from Off Ya Tree since the river took Emmy-Lou, and then, he ends up in the bottom two with Teale “The JPEG” Jakubenko – and it’s The JPEG that ends up getting to stay! Good thing Jonny’s feeling so chipper about the whole debacle, then:
“I started losing faith in myself not as artist but as a performer,” Taylor said today.
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Indiana Evans Leaves Summer Bay For Her Own Postmodern Mermaid Fantasy
9:32AM Clem Bastow | Indiana Evans – aka Matilda from Home & Away – is one of my favourite young soap stars. Unlike many soapie starlets, she can actually act – so it’s a shame to hear she’s leaving Summer Bay (incidentally, did anyone watch the “after the Olympics” return last night? Intense!), although where she’s going is possibly even more amazingly camp: she’s joining the cast of H2O: Just Add Water. Yes, the afternoon tweeny mermaid show! Splashtastic!
While it doesn’t command huge ratings in Australia, H2O: Just Add Water is a mammoth hit around the world, seen in more than 100 countries with a worldwide audience of more than 200 million viewers.
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Who Will Be The Nomi Malone To Anna Coren’s Cristal Connors?
9:25AM Clem Bastow | In the fast-paced world of television current affairs broadcasting, there’s always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs behind you – just ask Naomi Robson, who was usurped by the younger, blonder Anna Coren. Well, now it’s Coren’s turn to be shown the door (on her request) from the Today Tonight desk. Who is readying their serious face and mistrust of migrants/plumbers/loan sharks/fat kids in anticipation of taking over Coren’s spot? Welcome to the dollhouse, Samantha Armytage! Pay no attention to those “crickets and tumbleweeds” sound FX!
Armytage has been a seamless fill-in and is regarded inside Seven as a good reporter and a warm, natural television host – unlike the cooler Coren.
More » Sam Newman-gate: And Stay Out! (At Least For The Time Being)
9:31AM Clem Bastow | Praise the heavenly chorus above! Sam Newman has been “removed” from The Footy Show!
Official word is that Channel Nine are giving Newman time to recover from his prostate surgery, and to be counselled as to appropriate gender politics and treatment of women.
So we’ll be seeing him again in about three years then, right? That should give him the time to cover it all amply.
Nine has told its star of 15 years he needed time to “recover and convalesce” from two major operations, including the removal of his prostate.
He was also told to attend counselling about behaviour that critics say has marred his recent performances on the longtime ratings winner.
Nine’s executive director and GTV9 managing director, Jeffrey Browne, said the station should not have allowed Newman back on air so soon after a life-threatening illness.
“In order to allow Sam to return to full health without the stress of having to perform on live television each week, I have directed him to take a break from The Footy Show,” Mr Browne told the Herald Sun.
“As a component of this rehabilitation, I have arranged for Sam to undergo counselling to address, with professional assistance, the behaviour and issues that have attended what I now believe to be his premature return to the program.”
So hang on, are they trying to spin it like that episode of Law & Order: SVU where the dude started killing prostitutes because “God” told him to, only it turned out his doctor hadn’t told him that syphilis was rotting his brain – are they saying Sam only started ragging on women because he hadn’t had enough bed rest or something?
Good one, guys! More » 
Idol Round-Up: Marty’s Idol Journey So Thrilling It Takes A Day To Recover Before We Announce His Leaving
9:29AM Clem Bastow | In a show of resilience as confounding as Australian Idol has seen since the weird old days of Hayley Jensen, laidback™ surfer dude® Marty Simpson has finally been vamoosed from the talent quest.
Sadly for Marty, viewers didn’t warm to his awkward brand of “big band” style (his Light My Fire was like Jack Johnson subjecting Jose Feliciano to slow and agonising water torture) and he becomes this year’s fourth-place-getter.
We’re now firmly “on the road to the Opera House” and, failing a Cosima De Vito style shock exit, we’re putting our tips on a Carl and Natalie finale, as it’s entirely possible that Matt Corby will a) wear another women’s nightie or b) choose another obscure song that will freak out the little girls and fall by the wayside.
However, we will not be placing any actual bets because, as we all know, Idol is nothing if not bitterly disappointing year after year unpredictable. More » 
Idol Round-Up: Tarisai Runs Into The Loving Arms Of A Bratz Endorsement Deal
10:09AM Clem Bastow | The latest Australian Idol casualty is pocket rocket Tarisai Vushe, who admittedly showed less “rocket” and far less “(in the) pocket” with each week of the reality talent quest.
What started as a powerhouse voice with a beguiling personality ended up a karaoke-night warbler with the personality of a donut – her trademark quiet “thank you” apparently the killer for all involved, including the normally ever-lovin’ Marcia – a predicament that led to Mark and Dicko calling her “fake”, only to feel a bit of emotional power from Vushe, even if it was off-stage.
Unfortunately for her, the emotional outburst didn’t happen during her cover of The Veronicas’ When It All Falls Apart, and so she leaves in fifth place.
Incidentally, we remain perplexed as to exactly who is voting for Marty Simpson; could this year’s finale be another repeat of the Damien Leith/Kate De Araugo variety?
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Idol Round-Up: Ben The Latest To Feel The Idol Boot
10:34AM Clem Bastow | The contestant most confusingly praised by the judges, Ben McKenzie, has been given his Idol marching orders.
McKenzie, a theatrical NSW teen fond of zombie movies and Imogen Heap, did pretty much the same thing week after week, and continued to make the judges wet themselves (except perhaps Mark, who loves Matt Corby long time).
Apparently this was a “shock” eviction along the lines of Ricki-Lee, but really, anything Ben would’ve ended up releasing – if his love of Heap, Gary Jules and Brook Fraser is anything to go by – would’ve probably made Emmy Rossum’s debut look like Black Sabbath.
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Australian Idol Round-Up: We Are Devastated To See Jacob’s Chipmunk Cheeks Exit Our Screens
11:41AM Clem Bastow | Our “favourite” Idol was given the boot last night; it was sayonara to Jacob Butler’s sweat-tinged upper lip and breathless versions of the hits of the UK recording industry as the Melbourne singer became the latest Idol reject. (We also like the fact that that News Ltd headline, “Jacob Loses Australian Idol Fight” makes him sound like a plucky cancer sufferer in a midday movie.)
His “rousing” parting rendition of The Beatles’ Let It Be (complete with “Everybody out of your seats” moment) was a perfect crystallisation of all the reasons why we’re happy to see the back of him (but wouldn’t actually be happy to see the back of him, eh, eh).
In fact, if they can somehow manage to shuffle Marty off next week, the Final Six could actually make us enthused about following the journey to the Opera House with more than the passing curiosity we have currently, the interest levels of which are about on par with “Hmm, there’s a black mark on the carpet, wonder how that got there?” More » 