Bloggers may face perilous, uncertain futures these days — but not Kim Kardashian! The reality star and Dancing with the Stars bootee has taken to the blogging format like a badonkadonked fish in water. First, Kardashian used her forum to dispute the automobile allegations made against her by a Defamer tipster, and now she's posted an impassioned defense of her naturally fulsome physique. It seems that Kardashian is so tired of rumours that she's had plastic surgery that she's decided to disprove them once and for all — using a queasy-making photograph of herself in a bikini at age 14:

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There are times, in the life of a fan, where one is confronted with a detail about one's beloved star that makes it difficult to keep on loving them. When I was 14, it was the news that Noah Wyle from e.r. was a smoker. A few years back, it was Beck's return to Scientology's embracing bosom. And, speaking of bosoms, the latest disappointment: Kanye West apparently thinks Big Brother "discovery" and Zoo Magazine "columnist" Krystal "Bazoongas" Forscutt is a bit of alright.

Grammy award-winning rapper Kanye West has given lad's mag favourite Krystal Forscutt a serious career boost, posting more than 40 shots of the former Big Brother star on his personal blog.

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We're a caring bunch here at Defamer Australia, so when I was perusing the British trash rags newspapers this morning, I knew you'd be dying to hear all about this particular bit of celebrity news: Kerry Katona is having her bazoongas reduced! Not only that, but she's going to film the operation for her celebreality show. Yes, I know, I know - it should have been the first news item of the day but, you know, sometimes these major stories just trickle down slowly. Hell, it took me five months to find out that Kevin Rudd won the election!

She says: 'After four kids I need it. I'm a GG at the moment, and when I take my bra off my nipples are by my feet. I want to be a DD instead.'

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You know, it's not like we look to the News Ltd stable as our barometer of what's good and right in the world, but we would assume that some, if not most people working there, like to think that a good relationship is based on things like chemistry, mutual interests, understanding and attraction - right?

Not so, if you take their handling of George Clooney's relationship with model girlfriend Sarah Larson as evidence:

Yes, in the piece entitled "Clooney's girlfriend is just flat-out", evidently "Sarah Larson is one of the most envied woman on Earth - but probably not for her chest measurements."

Who woulda thunk it, eh? A woman with a less-than-generous bust measurement just might snare an eligible bachelor like Clooney on the strength of her personal character as well as her nungas! Strike us pink!

If you've seen Atonement or Pride And Prejudice - or, really, just seen Keira Knightley out and about - then you would be aware that the lovely lass is about as busty as co-star James McEvoy. So, you might also have been confused when, in the Pirates Of The Caribbean trilogy, she appeared to be bustin' out all over like nobody's business.

Well, Knightley has helpfully revealed the decidedly retro tricks of the trade that gave her cleavage its heaving depth in all those ripped bodices - good, old-fashioned make-up!

It was all an illusion, made possible by the film-studio art of "bosom make-up". It is a skill from Hollywood's golden age that fell out of favour with the advent of silicone enhancement.

Miss Knightley said: "They painted my tits on me for the films, which is extraordinary because it's kind of a dying art form - in the past, they used to have whole sections of the studios devoted to bosom make-up.

"And I loved it, completely loved it. Because it was the first time in my life I had big tits, and I didn't even need surgery.'

She said the process of creating the cleavage took 45 minutes every morning before filming started.

A make-up artist would apply a slightly darker shade of base make-up between Miss Knightley's own breasts to create a shadow to increase the 'cleavage effect'.

Beginner drag queens, male participants in Year 12 muck-up week "cross-dressing day", sit up and take note. "Boobs" drawn on with black texta will no longer cut it.

Photographer Gavin O'Neill clearly hasn't realised that the media like their women to be either dirty sluts or helpless angels, as he is surprised at the "poor Lara" spin that's been put upon the reemergence of the nude photoshoot he and Bingle undertook some time ago.

Yes, the conservative media outlets can't imagine that a) a young model would choose to pose nude or topless for some otherwise sophisticated photos, b) that the photographer wouldn't have been taking advantage of her in working with her, and c) that she wouldn't be completely ashamed and resort to the usual "I was young and needed the money!" excuses if the photos were distributed after the fact.

Here's O'Neill's take on it all:

But while Bingle has been painted as the victim in a sleazy expose that just won't disappear, O'Neill says the images are beautiful and tasteful - an opinion shared by the Cronulla model's management at International Quarterback.

Bingle and O'Neill have maintained a close professional relationship since the nude shoot, working together on several commercial projects.

"Everybody has this perception that Lara is embarrassed by the pictures but she's not ashamed at all - she loves these pictures," O'Neill told the Daily Telegraph's Confidential.

"I spoke to her about it today and she really doesn't understand why people would think 'poor Lara'. She and her family have no issue with the images at all."

Personally, we're with O'Neill and Lara's management - in the scheme of "surfaced" nudie photos, these ones are lovely; Lara looks gorgeous and womanly (although, where has she been hiding those bazoongas??) and the whole thing is about as far from a shameful Zoo-style strip-down as you can get.

Now, if the media could stop treating her like their sheltered 16-year-old virgin daughter who lives in a bubble within which it is perpetually 1956, that would be very nice, thanks!

Remember last year in April, how topless photos of Lara Bingle "surfaced" on the German GQ website, and the resulting hordes of click-happy blokes crashed the site, and Lara was all "you betrayed me!" and the photographer was all "nuh uh!"?

Well, you best take your deja vu medication, because like the Time Warp, it's all happening again!

Yes, and while we're not sure the same photo can "surface" twice, that didn't stop News Ltd from breathlessly reporting the story and providing rudey nudey links to the shots without so much as an "NSFW!"

SHE looked like the girl next door when she was in Adelaide for the Gerard McCabe Jewellers Celebrity Tennis Challenge late last year. But Lara Bingle's topless past has come back to haunt her - again.

The Aussie model and partner of Aussie cricket captain-in-waiting Michael Clarke, who first got our attention as the star of the "Where the bloody hell are you" campaign, is on display on German website GQ.

It's the same website which last March caused Bingle grief and sent Australian males spending a lot of time with their PCs.

Yes, it's the same website - and the same photo, dudes! They even linked to it way back in April here.

Either we spend too much time looking at classy nude pictures of cheery tourism models, or someone at the News Ltd scandal desk needs to have their eyesight checked.

Or perhaps they're just confused because this time Lara doesn't seem to be shooting black starbursts out of her nipples?

Krystal Forscutt - ex-Big Brother "star" and funbags-accoutred, hard-hitting sex columnist - has given up on chasing the big microphone in the sky and decided an acting career is going to be more fruitful than her short-lived singing jaunt.

As you can see from our photo Krystal is obviously massively talented so as soon as David Lynch writes a film about a young woman who is the pod child of a man who had sex with a cantaloupe in a deserted army base in South America, she's sure to be in line for that Oscar.

In the meantime...

Using every inch of her pnematic frame for fame, Forscutt has revealed she is hoping to "score the sort of girl-next-door type roles" normally reserved for leading ladies like her role model, Jessica Alba.

Mercifully giving up on her singing career after tanking on It Takes Two earlier this year, the pin-up told FHM she's focussed now on a feature film career.

"It's going to be a lot of hard work, a lot of castings and a lot of sleeping on people's couches,'' she said, prophetically.

Yes, we hear those casting couches are really comfortable - ho, ho, ho!

In all seriousness, though, has Krystal never watched America's Next Top Model or MTV Spring Break? Where her 'Kiss The Chef'-apron-style chest is something of a curiosity in Australia, reasonably pretty girls with a credit card boob job are a dime a dozen in Tinseltown.

We await her next career move with bated breath - research scientist, perhaps?

What with Lady McCartney's sad spaz out, Ben Cousins' escape from LA and Winegums' hubby appearing in Night Of The Living Dead IV, here's a little sum'n sum'n to lighten the mood: Jordan!

Yes, everyone's favourite human driver-and-passenger-side airbag is prattling on again, this time musing about how she'd like to be remembered once she shuffles off this mortal coil (no doubt in a coffin covered in Swarovski crystals).

Busty Jordan wants her gravestone inscription to pay tribute to her BOOBS.

The 32FF model, 29 said: "I’d like to have: ‘She had perfect tits’ or ‘Wonder Woman’."

Perfect tits? We're not so sure about that, but it's nice to know that no matter how much doom and gloom is happening in the world of entertainment gossip, you can always rely on Katie Price to brighten your day, like a super-bright halogen spotlight with a pink gel on it.