Sure, Bono's gained a little publicity over the last week after pictures emerged of him partying with two young lasses - neither of whom go by the name "Mrs Bono" - but the photos themselves were fairly tame if you ask me. A couple of hotties charitably hugging some middle aged dudes, really.

BORING!

Let's rejoice then in this fantastic moment in image cropping brought to you by the folks from Fairfax. I like that it now looks as though the naughty girl in question is gripping Bono's cock.

I APPLAUD EVERYONE INVOLVED.

Have you ever found yourself mindlessly trying on the latest pair of $800 jeans at Fred Segal and suddenly realised, you know what? It must be way hard for all those African girls out there in Africa and The Iraq Such As to even wear jeans like this. Why? As "Cameron Diaz" (flawlessly portrayed by Tracey Ullman) informs us, for the very first time all their genitals are falling off! The suckiest part? "This is the golden age of American blue jeans! It's really sad and amazing." The fictional burp-happy actress' solution, of course, is to star in That Terrible Time Of The Month, in which a gun-toting Diaz burps and farts her way through the jungle to save each and every halfway-severed ladypart from girls named Toko. For more insight, including Bono's method of miming the actual chop and toss, watch our clip after the jump.

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So here's why the folks at Time reckon Putin deserves the title for 2007.

"At significant cost to the principles and ideas that free nations prize, he has performed an extraordinary feat of leadership in imposing stability on a nation that has rarely known it and brought Russia back to the table of world power," Stengel wrote.

"For that reason, Vladimir Putin is Time's 2007 Person of the Year."

"Putin is not a boy scout. He is not a democrat in any way that the West would define it. He is not a paragon of free speech," he wrote.

"He stands, above all, for stability - stability before freedom, stability before choice, stability in a country that has hardly seen it for a hundred years."

But c'mon... he deserves it for his work in fashion. CHECK OUT HIS BLOODY SUNGLASSES!

We hear he wears these uber-reflective shades to all high profile meetings, so foreign leaders can never actually see his eyes in order to assess if he's telling fibs or not. Brilliant!

Interestingly, past winners of the Time's Person Of The Year title include Hitler, Stalin, Bono... AND YOU.

Update your resume accordingly.