bob geldof

Where’s Your Husband, Peaches?

10:30AM Clem Bastow | After surprising everyone including her own father by getting hitched in Vegas’ Little White Wedding Chapel, Peaches Geldof has arrived back in Old Blighty without her new husband. Which is probably, when you think of it, even less surprising than the marriage itself! I put $5 on the marriage being over by October 14th – anyone want to raise me? However, I was particularly taken aback by this disturbing little bit of information that the Tele quietly slipped into their coverage: More »

“Yeah, I’m Heading Home Now… Oh Yeah, I Got Married”

11:52AM Clem Bastow | The title above is the phone call I like to imagine Peaches Geldof having with her dad, Sir Bob, after her drive-through wedding in Vegas (where else?) to small-time rock muso, Max Drummey. They chose The Little White Wedding Chapel, where Britney Spears, Joan Collins and Demi Moore have also tied the knot (though not with each other) and I’m sure – with Peaches currently flying back to the UK while her husband tours the States – that the union has nothing to do with the words “publicity” and “stunt” (or their synonyms, “drunken” and “rampage”). The whole thing just makes you shed a tear for young love, doesn’t it? In a statement, the couple said they were ‘delighted to announce their very happy marriage’. More »

Uh Oh, Tiger Lily (Maybe) Set To Become Child Actor

11:05AM Clem Bastow | This could well constitute “troubling news”: Tiger Lily, daughter of Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates and adopted daughter of Sir Bob Geldof, has apparently made a shortlist of young actresses in line to star in the latest cinematic adaptation of the popular Eloise books. Even though being a child actor isn’t necessarily the curse it once was, here’s hoping Tiger Lily is from the Frances Bean Cobain school rather than the Drew Barrymore-aged-8-to-16 school, and has only inherited her parents’ looks rather than their party MO. Tiger Lily and 10 other young actresses were shortlisted after the movie’s producers scoured schools in Britain, the US and Canada. Hollywood actress Uma Thurman has already been cast to play the nanny in the film. “Eloise has to be sassy, streetwise and extremely lovable, although she has a naughty side,” an unnamed source close to the film told the Daily Mail newspaper. Final auditions for the starring role will be held next week, the paper added. Eloise in Paris is based on the famous 50s children’s books by Kay Thompson. Casting Tiger Lily in the role would be an improvement on the dreadful existing film and TV versions of the character, but we’ll believe all this when we actually see proper quotes rather than just “sources”. In any case, we can’t see Sir Bob letting Tiger Lily hit Studio 54 for her 12th birthday – if his other daughters are any indication, that sort of shit is strictly for those aged 15 and above. More »

Sir Bob Calls Australians “Mean”; Hutchence Clan Drafting Response As We Go To Press

9:51AM Clem Bastow | Clearly a man who has never heard of the concept of an internal editor, “Saint” Bob Geldof has used an Australian press conference to have a go (though, we must admit, rightfully so) at Australia’s international aid budget. Naturally, the gossip press have suggested he took the booking because of its coinciding with the ten-year anniversary of Michael Hutchence’s death. The champion for African debt relief described Australian government donations as “embarrassingly pathetic. In fact, it’s one of the meanest on the planet.” Geldof addressed a business leaders’ forum at the Queensland University of Technology, but the timing of his visit has also raised speculation he is here to mark the death of his Australian rock rival. C’mon, Bob; tell the truth. He’s probably really here to do commando rolls into Hutchence HQ before attaching a copy of Tiger Lily’s adoption certificate to their fridge with a hunting knife. Or something like that. More »

Saint Geldof Still A Sinner In The Eyes Of The Hutchence Clan

11:57AM Clem Bastow | The sad story of little Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily continues, with another Hutchence family member sounding off about their niece/granddaughter/distant relative’s life with Bob Geldof. Hutchence’s sister Tina, speaking to New Idea on the eve of the ten-year anniversary of Michael’s death, reckons Geldof is keen to legally adopt Tiger Lily and change her name to Geldof. The Hutchence family has received a letter from Geldof’s lawyers informing them of his intention to change Tiger Lily’s name, Tina Hutchence said. “In seven years, he’s given my mother just four days of supervised visits,” she said. “None of the rest of us have seen Tiger, only my mother, and that was with the nanny. “And the interesting thing is Bob Geldof is patron of a charity called Grandparents Apart – a charity for grandparents who don’t get to see their grandchildren.” You know, if the Hutchences hadn’t shown themselves to be money-grubbing whingers throughout the past ten years (that eBay auction springs to mind) then we might be inclined to side with them. However, since Sir Bob seems to be doing a reasonably good job of caring for Tiger, we can’t help but see this as just another publicity grab – one thing that, like him or not (his endlessly snowballing charity gigs notwithstanding), Sir Bob does well to avoid. If Tiger was “returned” to the Hutchences we get the feeling she’d be featuring in an RSL-touring jazz ballet spectacular faster than you could say “Bindi Irwin”. More »

Bob Geldof Slams Live Earth

3:17PM Jess McGuire | Uh-oh… “Saint” Bob Geldof has expressed displeasure at being associated with the upcoming Live Earth series of concerts, which aim to raise awareness about global warming, as well as provide Leonardo DiCaprio with an excuse to slyly put his arm around Al Gore’s waist and cop a feel whilst standing side of stage and swaying gently to Coldplay’s “Fix You”. The musician – the organiser of the Live Aid and Live 8 concerts which raised money and aid for the Third World – is furious he has been linked with the eco-friendly event, and has branded it a waste of time. Geldof raged to Holland’s De Volkskrant newpaper: “It sounds like Live 8. I’m getting lots of responses from people who think I am organising it. “I would only organise Live Earth if I could go on stage and announce concrete environmental measures from the American presidential candidates, Congress or major corporations. “They haven’t got those guarantees, so it’s just an enormous pop concert or the umpteenth time that, say, Madonna or Coldplay get up on stage. So to summarise; Live 8 = Legitimate series of concerts around the world which raised awareness of an increasingly important issue affecting the world’s population, featuring talented musicians who generously donated their time for the good of the cause and not because they wanted to up the sales of their latest record. Also organised by an incredibly handsome, talented man who has a rapier sharp intellect and an impressively-sized cock. Live Earth = Ridiculous attempt to put on concerts around the world, with the foolish aim to raise awareness about a pointless cause, featuring attention-whore musicians, and run by someone isn’t half the man Bob Geldof is other concert organisers are. More »