billie piper

Billie Incurs Wrath Of New Family With ‘No Kids’ Wedding

11:17AM Clem Bastow | Nothing like a wedding to bring people together in harmony (read: send all sides of the family to their respective corners, foaming at the mouths and baying for fresh human blood)! Our girl Billie Piper just had her wedding to dapper young acting gent Lawrence Fox and, in perhaps the most shattering news of the new celebrity year, his uncle Robert – brace yourselves – DID NOT COME. It seems Uncy Rob was pissed off by Billie’s – perfectly run-of-the-mill, based on weddings we’ve attended upon occasion – request that children stay home from the all-night boozer (incidentally held at ex-husband Chris Evans’ pub). It should also be noted that Uncle Robert is not, in fact, a child himself. His official excuse was that he was out of the country. But a friend informs me: “The truth was, Robert was actually at his home in Shepherd’s Bush. He and his wife decided not to go after being told their children were not welcome.” Oh wah, wah, wah! Haven’t they ever heard of the phrase “my day, my way”? It’s Billie’s call, dudes, and to a lesser extent, the call of the bloke she’s marrying. Someone needs to buy the Fox clan a box-set of Bridezillas, stat. More »

Billie And Chris Evans Continue To Show Up Every “Let’s Stay Friends” Break-Up Ever By Actually Staying Friends

8:16AM Clem Bastow | We love Billie Piper, and we love her even more because of the ridiculously civilised way in which she and her ex-husband, radio star Chris Evans, ended their five-year marriage. She said at the time, in refusing a pay-out or any sort of divorce settlement – remember, Evans is a millionaire – that they’d had a good relationship and as such, “I’m not taking a penny from him, I think that’s disgusting.” So, it’s probably not surprising that the duo – who promised to stay friends – are still thick as thieves. So thick, in fact, that Billie is holding her upcoming wedding to actor Laurence Fox at one of Evans’ pubs – and he’s overseeing the reception! Miss Piper and 41-year-old Evans were divorced in June after five years of marriage, but remain good friends. Shortly after their separation, the actress declared that she and the controversial multi-millionaire DJ would be “best mates for life”. In August, when Evans married his new love – professional golfer Natasha Shishmanian – and later held a reception in Portugal, Miss Piper and Mr Fox were among the guests. And during much of this year the two couples have often made a foursome in the White Horse pub in Midhurst, enjoying burgers and beer. All of a sudden your casual email, occasional coffee or shuffling bar-room encounter with your ex – who you make sure to tell everyone you’re still on great terms with – seems pitifully inadequate, doesn’t it? Perhaps Billie and Chris can cash in by writing a book on breaking up like grown-ups? Hey, if Mr “He’s Just Not That Into You” can do it! More »

Honey To The C (U.N.T)

11:24AM Clem Bastow | Another of our favourites, Billie Piper, caught the acting bug whilst playing Rose on Doctor Who and is set to continue her reinvention when Secret Diary Of A Call Girl – based on the saucy bestseller – airs later this month in the UK. Not content to play a high class hooker, Billie will “shock” audiences by pulling out the sweary big guns. Billie Piper is set to prove she’s a big girl now by using the C-word on TV. The 24-year-old, who first found fame as a popstar aged 15, is set to shock with her saucy antics in a role as a high-class hooker – and her foul mouth. Family groups and media watchdogs are suitably upset, but we just love the fact that the Mirror chooses to describe it as Billie being “a big girl now”. Yes, apparently it isn’t getting your period or your license or living alone that shows you’ve grown up, it’s saying “cunt”. Millions of East End slappers are just now crying tears of joy that their womanhood has finally been confirmed. More »