Behind Big Brother announced it, the news outlets are running with the story, and we just received an insider email from a Big Brother connection confirming it as true - Big Brother has been cancelled by Channel Ten.

Were radio duo turned television hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O the kiss of death for the Big Brother franchise, or was the loss of Gretel Killeen more to blame? Did the downhill slide kick off after the debacle that was Turkeyslapgate? Or was it over and out for the Gold Coast based reality extravaganza when Lefty Tim was robbed by the Logans during the 2005 finale (no, I'm still not over it)?

Who knows. All we can be sure of is that the last few years of the program have felt like producers were going through the motions, and audiences were slowly but surely finding better things to do than stay in and watch sun-loving bogans party pashing in the spa and talking rather ignorantly about world affairs.

The show's ratings have been poor since radio jocks Kyle and Jackie O replaced previous host Gretel Killeen as the faces of this year's series.

Big Brother was even beaten in the ratings by Federal Treasurer Wayne Swan's Budget speech in May.

Ratings bounced back to more than 1.4 million this week with the appearance on Wednesday of former Playboy Bunny Pamela Anderson.

Look, Pamela's appearance on the show absolutely worked for me - she was great, charming, and funny - but it wasn't ever going to be enough to redeem the show in the eyes of the viewing public.

Rumours that the show will return in 2010 may thrill some fans (and chill the blood of Big Brother haters...) but whether a year's break will be enough to reinvigorate the program remains to be seen. That said, a hiatus was something I suggested earlier this month - relax, kittens, I'm not egotistical enough to think my daft memo to Big Brother producers was influential in any way - so fingers crossed my other suggestion (Charlotte Dawson as host! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!) is taken on board as well.

I suppose the big question is - how on earth are Channel Ten going to fill their schedule between April and July next year? M*A*S*H re-runs? They'd better not invest in local drama, or I may very well pass out in shock. I suggest buying up as many cheap reality shows featuring Jillian Michaels as you can get your paws on, dudes.

Vale, Big Brother. We knew you all too well.

Surely they must've seen this one coming - Pamela Anderson, in the country to film a stint in the Big Brother house, and apparently paid loads to do so - has continued her animal rights campaigning for PETA while down under, requesting meetings with Kevin Rudd to discuss live exports, and so on.

But, somewhat deliciously, her main target is KFC, otherwise known as one of Big Brother's major sponsors.

Suddenly BB are wishing they'd gone with Tara Reid.

Less than five hours after arriving in Australia yesterday, the 41-year-old ambassador for animal welfare group PETA announced that tomorrow she would deliver a letter protesting KFC's treatment of chickens to a Gold Coast KFC outlet.

The letter and accompanying video - addressed to Albert Baladi, the managing director of KFC's Australian parent company - claims the fast food chain's suppliers scald chickens to death in defeathering tanks.

The serial Playboy bunny admitted she had agreed to appear on Ten's reality TV show because she was being paid "a lot".

"Much more than I'm worth. I had to come. I can't believe it," she said. Asked if her pay cheque of was in excess of $500,000, she replied: "I don't want to say how much, but it was a lot."

Awesome, I love Pammy - pocketing the cash, saying she doesn't care who sponsors the show, and staying true to what she believes in. That's the spirit!

Poor booted Bianca :(

(Bianca) Benigno from Queensland, who was evicted from the Network Ten series last night, says she's still upset that contestants were tricked into thinking there was a "mole" in the house, and told they must find out who it was.

"I cannot see the benefit for us for doing that task, it completely mentally tortured us for three days," Benigno said today.

Maybe I was wrong, Big Brother. Maybe it was better to totally mess with their heads and turn them against each other for no reason? MY APOLOGIES.

Still think you need to ditched Kyle & Jackie O and bring in Charlotte Dawson, though. Jackie's on stage asides - like last night's conversational "Oooh, I don't know what's going on between Brigitte and her boyfriend, something's not quite right there..." - doesn't come off as particularly insightful for some reason, just strangely unprofessional. I can say this without fear of hurting Jackie O's feelings as the Sunday Life profile on her the other week revealed Jackie can laugh at criticism now.

Good for you, babes.

Fiery know-it-all Bianca has been kicked out of the Big Brother house after last night's eviction. Once the obligatory post-Big Brother nightclub appearances are over with, she can no doubt go back to prancing around in tight tops and holding large books in an effort to look more intelligent than anyone else in the world.

From what I can tell (despite her constant attempts to gain attention through sulky temper tantrums) this excerpt from the Big Brother site's article on her eviction is the most interesting thing about Bianca.

Bianca also made Australian BB history by being the first Housemate to be given a watch as part of the secret Moon Monks task. As Head Monk, she had to recruit and train new members of the Secret Order without the other HMs detecting her confidential extracurricular activities. After a few close shaves, they passed the task successfully.

SHE GOT TO WEAR A WATCH? FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS, BIANCA!

I don't loathe her that much. She just made me get all narky whenever I was eating dinner and she appeared on the telly with that surly expression (you know, where she'd pout moodily and her mouth resembled a slug dropped in a bowl of salt*).

She is probably a really lovely person in real life, blah blah blah, but anyone who makes me root for Corey makes me feel a bit weird, and it's best they leave my television screen.

*Description courtesy of Brendan Shanahan's column in the Daily Telegraph years ago regarding Vanessa Amorosi's facial expression after she failed to win a single ARIA - despite, like, eight thousand nominations - at the awards ceremony back in 2000. I've never forgotten it (although I may not have quoted it correctly - there's no online reference to it anywhere, alas). God bless you, Brendan.

Things that would have been better than making the housemates think there has been a spy amongst them from the beginning.

i) Actually putting a spy in there from the beginning.
ii) Putting an eel in the spa.
iii) Cutting off Rory's dreadlocks.

Also, after watching Australia's Next Top Model finale last night, I'm convinced you need to give the show a rest next year, and then come back in 2010 with one decent host, not two bumbling idiots whose career success continually provides the public with irrefutable proof there is no god. May I suggest...

MIKE GOLDMAN?

NO!

Charlotte Dawson. She has a sense of authority, the ability to talk to the viewer without her eye twitching, and she's just A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN KYLE AND JACKIE O.

Oh hey, did you guys know Big Brother is still running? Well, it is. And it makes the Baby Jesus want to watch 60 Minutes. Nevertheless, it's been a while since we poked our metaphorical head into the Dreamworld house here at Defamer Australia. We didn't even have time to get attached to "old fart" Terrence before losing him during last night's eviction!

No, wait. We had time. He was just a bit irritating.

In fact, Terrence's nightly presence on my television screen made me think of that Tina Fey quote from Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update sketch - "Barbara Walters announced the top finalists to replace Lisa Ling as co-host for "The View." They are Rachel Campos from "The Real World," Elisabeth Hasselbeck from "Survivor 2," and a machine that gives people splitting headaches."

This year it feels like the Big Brother house is filled with machines that give people splitting headaches.

It was Christy from BB05, I believe, who coined the phrase "confliction", and I'm feeling much Big Brother-related confliction at this latest BB rumour: apparently Steve Carell may be entering the Big Brother House.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't BB intruder spots generally reserved for nonentities and those whose careers are either in or looking forward to a spell in the toilet?

The plot may or may not thicken:

"It is a rumour," a Ten spokesperson told Confidential yesterday. "It's unconfirmed.

"There's always a chance but it's just a rumour at this stage."

Rumours have been swirling for weeks a superstar guest would inject some serious ratings gunpowder into the current series of Big Brother.

Carell is the obvious pick given he and co-star Anne Hathaway will be on the Gold Coast this Sunday to promote their new film Get Smart.

"Serious ratings gunpowder"? What, so they're looking for something to blow the ratings to smithereens and leave it nothing but a pile of smoking, faintly bloody ash? Top work, Channel Ten!

While I can't speak for my beloved Defamer Australia Editor, one of the main reasons I stopped watching Big Brother (or, perhaps more accurately, one of the only reasons I watched it for as long as I did) was because of the presence of the wondrous Gretel Killeen.

And since she's been so "under the radar" that she was more or less off it for the past few months, I'm glad Mix 106.5FM's Todd McKenney and Sonia "Tina Sparkle" Kruger have thought to ask her how she feels about the show grinding forward in her absence:

"I think it's much better not to have seen it," she said.

"I wouldn't want to say its time has come or gone because it's not fair to the people who are doing it.

I think people can sometimes exaggerate where the ratings are."

Killeen also said she did not regret leaving the show, saying she was "ready to go".

"I was ready to go, I'd done it for seven years," she said.

Right, well, that settles it, doesn't it? Hopefully Gretel will return her hand to writing young adult fiction; My Life Is A Toilet remains one of the funniest books I have ever read, and its narrator Fleur's description of a bloke as being "about as sexy as a soap with a pubic hair stuck on it" could well stretch to describe replacement host Kyle Sandilands.

Oh my lord. It's been a while since we checked in on the goings on at Dreamworld, and for good reason. Firstly, even a trash addict like me is finding it difficult to pretend to be gripped by Big Brother this year, and secondly, apparently they're doing revolting things to each other and I am far too highbrow for such stuff. Kinda.

A claim by Big Brother evictee Rebecca about the filthy actions of another housemate has sparked an investigation by Channel Ten into goings on within the compound.

Rebecca claimed during an interview with the Daily Telegraph that fellow housemate Dixie routinely wiped herself "downstairs" then touched people's faces and food.

The incident was reported as the filthiest thing to happen in the house since the infamous 'turkey slap' where two male housemates were involved in rubbing genitals on a female housemate's face.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Network Ten was concerned about the claims and ordered Big Brother producers to scour all footage of Dixie in the house since the start of the show.

Six people were tasked with looking at footage gathered from 37 cameras and audio from 97 microphones.

Let us take a moment out from our busy schedule and quietly pray for the poor six employees forced to monitor Dixie's vagina/finger action. No paycheck could be big enough for them to be saying to themselves "Wow, I am certainly satisfied with the career choices which led to this moment in my life". Brothers and sisters, I feel for you.

At least your tireless investigation led to some comforting results.

"Dixie's 'hands down her pants incident' that Rebecca refers to did not happen in the way Rebecca portrays," says a Network Ten spokesperson.

"We've reviewed the footage extensively and while Dixie jokes about the act with fellow housemates, at no time does she actually carry it out.

Oh good. That's something, then.

(Via MsCynic)

Alright, so this happened on Wednesday night's Daily Show but I couldn't bring myself to write about it until today because I overdosed on Big Brother in the wee hours of Wednesday morning during Carson's brief time in the house. The housemates were sitting outside enjoying a nice meal, and Rebecca delivered what appeared to be the kind of whimsical comedy stylings one might expect from Jerry Seinfeld - if Jerry Seinfeld had been booked to perform at the One Nation Christmas bash.

"I hate how Asian people say one dolla, two dolla, forty five dolla! It's DOLLARS!"

WHAT'S WITH ASIANS, LOL?

Yes, Rebecca has really raised a valuable point about folks for whom English is a second language not quite hitting the mark conversationally. I can only hope that one day she takes her skimpy barmaid skills overseas to a country where English is not the mother tongue, and is mocked in a similar manner by frustrated locals.