bbc

Don’t Tell Gwyneth Paltrow That You Want to Fuck Her on Live TV

3:40AM Kyle Buchanan | In the United States, an uncomfortable talk show interview usually involves an uncommunicative Twilight star or a vaguely gross suggestion of backseat nookie from Jay Leno. Across, the pond, however, restrictions are looser — or at least they were, until Russell Brand mucked things up in the ribald BBC voicemail scandal that we still don’t fully understand (we think it involved Fawlty Towers, Satanists, and a giant bird’s nest of hair). Now, British chat show host Jonathan Ross is being investigated for another example of bad language (shown in the above clip), in which he asks A-list actress Gwyneth Paltrow about her kids and then announces that he would like to fuck her and that she’s clearly “gagging for it.” Someone’s been taking interview tips from The Advocate! More »

Pointless Televisual Celebrity Feuds: The Brits Do It Better

10:09AM Clem Bastow | One television trend that hasn’t really made its way to Australia yet (unless you count The Bush Tucker Man) is the whole extreme survival movement. The Brits eat it right up, what with their endless supply of Super Army Soldiers and landscape full of bogs, rivers, snow and wild beasts ready to be turned into edge-of-your-seat Sunday evening viewing. Well, both BBC and Channel Four have their own takes on the theme, and now the Beeb’s survival bloke, Ray Mears, has called Channel Four’s – the excellently named former SAS action man Bear Grylls; that’s him eating the fish with what appears to be extra t-sauce – nothing more than a pretender. This was my favourite bit of the slanging match: Last summer, 33- year- old Grylls was criticised over revelations that his existence during filming his series Born Survivor had been more comfortable than the programme suggested. More »

The Bbc Ruins Christmas, Says Sorry; Bulk Orders Of Lumps Of Coal Comin’ Right Up

4:02PM Clem Bastow | Heartening news today that people have had jack of political correctness, after the BBC committed something tantamount to treason when they decided to bleep out the words “faggot” and “slut” from beloved seasonal favourite The Fairytale Of New York, by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. The Beeb emerged from the ensuing fracas with their tail firmly between their collective legs and a sorry look on all their faces. The BBC had said the full lyrics might be unsuitable for children hearing it on the morning school run in their parents’ car. But MacColl’s mother Jean lashed out at the decision. “I think it’s pathetic, I really do. It’s absolute nonsense. Really, this is too ridiculous,” she told BBC Radio 5 Live. “As a parent, whatever age your child is, you have to guide them. You would say, ‘well, some people talk like this’,” said Ms MacColl, whose daughter died in a boating accident in Mexico in December 2000. After relenting later in the day, Mr Parfitt explained that it was because the BBC believed there was no malicious intent in the words. “While we would never condone prejudice of any kind, we know our audiences are smart enough to distinguish between maliciousness and creative freedom,” he said. “In the context of this song, I do not feel that there is any negative intent behind the use of the words, hence the reversal of the decision.” Good to see that the people still have some power against our new broadcasting overlords. Hop on over the jump with a glass of eggnog or eight and enjoy a rollicking rendition of Fairytale to celebrate the triumph of good music over tedious moral guardianship. More »

Terry Wogan’s Knob Alarms Bbc Viewers

10:21AM Clem Bastow | Eurovision stalwart and BBC personality Sir Terry Wogan gave viewers more than they ever wanted while presenting a recent edition of Points Of View. It seems Terry’s well-fitted moleskin trousers gave a rather detailed point of view of another variety, and the BBC has been inundated with complaints about Terry’s packed lunch. Viewers were initially placed at ease when the avuncular Irishman appeared on screen in jacket, shirt and tie for the teatime show – well before the 9pm watershed. But then the camera panned down to reveal mustard-coloured slacks which offered him little in the way of, ahem, support and evoked memories of sprinter Linford Christie’s infamous ‘lunchbox’. Even Sir Terry’s most ardent female fans appear to have found the experience a little unsettling, if the BBC’s on-line message boards are to be believed. One said: “I have just watched Points of View with my daughter and my husband. When the camera panned out on Terry Wogan, I didn’t know where to look. “Both my daughter and I (who are in no way prudish) were totally embarrassed to see Terry with very revealing trousers on. I’m sure we can’t have been the only ones to notice.” Sir Terry defended his wardrobe malfunction on his breakfast radio show, insisting that they were his own trousers. We’re not really sure how that is meant to clear anything up, unless “trousers” is what they’re calling it these days. In which case, Sir Terry seems to have a very nice pair of trousers! More »