bangkok dangerous

Nic Cage, Thai Hooker

3:10AM Seth | Forgive us. We’re still a little hazy, having stumbled out in the wee morning hours from a Chateau Marmont bungalow, where the Jonas Brothers were reading bible passages off a stripper’s arse at their official post-VMAs party. Good news: our virginity is still intact! Bad news: we wish we could say the same about our septum. More bad news: the box office crapped itself this weekend. Please enjoy this fittingly humdrum installment of Monday Morning Box Office: More »

Movie Studios Give Up, Cede Weekend To NFL

2:40AM STV | Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly guide to everything new, noteworthy and potentially nausea-inducing at the movies. If summer was really just a heady four-month industry bender of superheroes and the occasional Sex romp, then consider this week the hangover: The brutal post-Labor Day doldrums, when phoner-inner Nic Cage has the box office to himself, our underdog is an ethnic punchline, and we want to to do nothing but shut ourselves in with a few of this week’s only slightly more intriguing DVD releases. So read on for a remedy; as always, our opinions are our own, but let’s just assume we’re all in agreement this time around. It’s kind of hard to screw up a week like this.

Thai Visitor Nicolas Cage Too Busy Fleeing War to Learn Directors’ Names

8:35AM STV | It’s altogether possible that Nicolas Cage’s new film Bangkok Dangerous is among his finest — a lively, entertaining adventure recalling his early years romping through movies by the Coens, David Lynch and his uncle Francis Ford Coppola. Still, we relieved most of our illusions fairly early in Cage’s appearance last night on Letterman, when the Oscar-winner-for-hire confessed both his inability to distinguish his twin-brother directors from each other and his time spent fleeing Thailand’s recent coup d’etat with his wife and child. But then we felt a certain restorative surge of confidence, a sort of implied Method veracity that re-established our faith in his cockroach-eating batshittery of yore. So now we’re just confused. But hey as long as it’s not, like, Ghost Rider 2 or… Wait, what? Oh. So much for optimism. [CBS] More »