australia zoo
Australia Zoo’s Crocodiles Sure Contain Some Interesting Things!
9:39AM Jess McGuire | I don’t really need to think about crocodiles much as I go about my day. There’s very little chance of me running into one on the way to the tram stop, and I am blessed enough to be able to leave my front door open all night long with no fear of a giant saltwater beast swaggering inside and eating me and/or my dog.
But I’m one of the lucky ones in this great big country of ours. For some people in Queensland, crocs are constantly on their mind. They’re something that must be dealt with on a daily basis, and letting ones guard down for even a moment could have disastrous consequences. Naturally, the Queensland Government have many thoughts on crocodiles too, and at the moment the main concern is the fact they’re eating people and coughing bits up. Or having foreign things discovered inside them. Or something.
Either way, it’s not good!
The Queensland Opposition has called for an inquiry into the government’s crocodile management policy, after anonymous claims it has led to the deaths of two men.
More » 
Aussie Hip Hop Star Bindi Irwin Excitedly Talks About Her Exciting 10th Birthday Celebrations: “I’m Very Excited!”
11:44AM Jess McGuire | Rap star, Logie winner, fashion icon, and queen of Australian tourism Ms Bindi Irwin has, on the eve of her 10th birthday, been interviewed by The Courier-Mail – and boy, is she excited about turning double digits!
Using the words “I’m very excited” at least 12 times in as many minutes, she said: “Our tradition is that birthdays are not just for yourself but for sharing.
“Every birthday is very exciting – you wake up in the morning so excited because everyone is coming. It’s so exciting I can’t wait. Double digits means double the fun which is so exciting.”
Uh-huh. Exciting stuff!
I also quite enjoyed her views on her simple living brother Bob-Bob.
(Bindi) said she preferred to focus on the good things in the world and believed in the simple philosophy often demonstrated by her younger brother, Robert, 4, who liked to live in the moment.
“Robert has a great approach to life,” she said.
“He lives one day at a time and doesn’t worry about what will happen in the future. He just likes to play with his chickens and revels in the moment which is happening . . . which is a good way to be.
An uncomplicated four year old – I’ll be damned! I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again – Robert “Bob Bob” Irwin is my great hope for the future of not only Australia Zoo, but Australia itself. Although the way Bindi’s taken to describing him in this interview, I can’t help but suspect we might lose him for a couple of years to the Nimbin massive as he explores the appeal of certain herbs and tries his hand at African drumming. More » 
Bob Bob Now The Only Irwin Family Member Without A Doll In His Likeness, Continues To Be Our Small Blonde Hope For Australia Zoo
7:06AM Jess McGuire | Because we’re just in that sort of mood this morning, we’d like to begin by looking at the positives in this article regarding Bindi Irwin’s new incarnation as a talking doll.
Firstly, Dark Crystal fans, Bindi is still being officially classified as human. Says mother Terri “She is still a nine-year-old human being. She is a real girl,” which is comforting – if there’s one thing Terri Irwin knows about, it’s the classification of animal species.
Secondly, Bindi is like a Mr Chips for nature-obsessed children. Continues Terri “She takes being a role model seriously, she equates what she does with being a teacher, like her teacher Miss Emma.”
Please note, it is highly unlikely Miss Emma is a plump affable middle-aged human tutor with a heart of gold, but rather some kind of hyper-intelligent monitor lizard from Papua New Guinea who communicates with Bindi using a complex combination of tail flicks and text messaging. At best, Miss Emma is a strict but wise orangutan. Australia Zoo only allows four human members of staff on the grounds at the one time, and the merch store requires many human fingers to handle the complex EFTPOS machine.
Thirdly, Terri does not want Bindi to grow up feeling different from other children, even though, you know, Bindi is quite rich, famous, lives in a Zoo, and is completely different from pretty much every other child her age.
Mrs Irwin was left to launch the doll, which plays recorded messages from Bindi, at a New York toy fair alone after organisers banned children.
Bindi and her mother declined a special offer to allow her to attend because other children were unable to see the wonderland of toys.
“They said they would make an exception for Bindi, I said ‘No thank you, I don’t want Bindi to grow up being the exception’,” Mrs Irwin said.
We fear it will be quite impossible to imagine a room full of kids where Bindi wouldn’t be considered the odd one out, but whatever. Noble sentiments from Terri Irwin.
Alright, now we must get to the more disturbing aspects of the article.
Bindi saw the dolls, which repeat favourite sayings such as “love it, don’t hurt it”, on Saturday night in New York and told her mother it was every girl’s dream to have their own doll.
Bindi’s favourite saying is “love it, don’t hurt it”?
We cannot personally come up with anything more horrendous and frightening than the idea of being surprised by a small doll with Bindi Irwin features which repeatedly howls “LOVE IT DON’T HURT IT” in our direction but hey, that’s just us.
Bindi’s young brother Robert is the only family member not to have a doll, with dolls of Mrs Irwin and her crocodile hunter husband already on sale.
Oh, Bob Bob. You continue to keep it so real. With Bob Bob, it’s all about the conservation, you know? Not the trappings of fame like dolls and spin off rap projects (although we still want Bindi to win the ARIA for Best Urban Release this year) and meddling in Britney Spears’ troubled life.
Keep on keepin’ on, Bob Bob. More » 