After the announcement of teen bully and sook-face Demelza Reveley left Australia's Next Top Model viewers throwing their Foxtel remotes at the television in disgust, those on Team Tiny Mouth were at least able to be safe in the knowledge that none of the industry big wigs were really thrilled that Demelza was their new charge; Vogue Australia's Kirstie Clements even devoting an entire page of letters (from herself and readers) in the current issue, which features Demelza's winning shoot, to set the record straight. Said Team Tiny Mouth members will no doubt be supping on the sweet, sweet schadenfreude this morning, then:

Controversial Australia's Next Top Model winner Demelza Reveley was recently rushed to hospital after she fainted.

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If Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 3 winner Alice Burdeu's post-show career boom was like a steaming hot dish served on a sparkling silver platter, then Cycle 4 winner and professional bully Demelza Reveley's desserts are served cold, coagulated and with a hair on top - in a polystyrene container.

After already damning the teenage wannabe with faint praise, Vogue Editor In Chief and AusNTM judge Kirstie Clements has once more stuck her Louboutin boot into Reveley.

Branding the Reveley feature with a non-committal "You be the Judge" caption, Clements yesterday conceded the Foxtel face had received "a big leg up" in achieving the polished and professional look, The Daily Telegraph's Sydney Confidential reports.

"Look, Demelza scrubbed up all right but she's got a bit of a way to go - she's very young and she's no Alice Burdeu," Clements said.

"I felt like I'd said enough about Demelza's behaviour on the show, so I opened up the forum to the readers to let them have their say."

As for the shots themselves, Vogue released a sample to the press and, well...

If the series was titled Australia's Next Top Impersonator Of The Alien From Close Encounters After It Had Had A Go In Amy Winehouse's Makeup Case, then I would applaud it. However, since it isn't, I say underwhelming.

Taking time out from her busy schedule packed full of water balloon lobbing and screaming "why can't I make her break?!" at the full moon, Australia's Next Top Model "winner" Demelza Reveley has begun her modelling career in earnest.

This involved doing a trade show to launch Saba's latest collection - not much news there, but I do like this vaguely damning faint praise that her agent (and AusNTM judge) Priscilla Leighton Clarke whipped up for the bullying teenager:

"I'm not going to throw her in the deep end because she's only 16 - Alice Burdeu was 20 and there's a big difference in what she was able to take on," she said.

Reveley is set to make a chaperoned step on to the international stage next month, visiting casting agents in New York.

The translation there is, "I'm not going to throw her in the deep end because unlike Alice, she does not have what it takes to be an actual top model. We've got some great Big W catalogue jobs that will look just darling on her."

Or so I'm told.

After pulling out of the Australia's Next Top Model finale (citing a reason to the tune of "I don't do live television"), and then fleeing to the beach when the probing questions got too much, and then having the Foxtel boss say she wasn't going anywhere, it seems Jodhi Meares has decided to set the record straight.

She has done this by, er, giving a rather evasive interview in which she kinda sorta maybe says she won't be hosting the modelling show next year.

"It's not something that I ever agreed to do, or would ever agree to do," Meares told Grazia.

"I am not an entertainer, I don't aspire to handle crowds of that level. I said that upfront and Foxtel were totally fine about it."

[...]

Meares called police to fend off reporters at her Sydney home last week before fleeing to Hamilton Island.

And any plans to salvage her Foxtel contract are off the agenda, with Meares saying she does not expect to stay in the media.

"I don't see it as something I will need to manage in the future," she said.

Well, as much as I think the whole fracas dissolved into a bit of a farce, I have to say I'm not going to mourn her departure (you know, if she does depart); her hosting duties have been, how you say, actually a bit shit.

Aside from the fabulous Charlotte Dawson, who else would make a good AusNTM host? Mink? Miranda Kerr? Jeannie Little?

Bad news for those who were hoping Charlotte Dawnson and her sassypants would snatch the Australia's Next Top Model hosting spirit stick from Jodhi Meares after her, er, underwhelming (i.e. nonexistent) performance in the role come grand finale time: Foxtel sez Meares isn't going anywhere.

Somewhere in the suburbs of Sydney, Charlotte Dawson is contacting Fiona Horne to see how she can make a Wiccan career spell out of a pile of Tigerlily samples and a can of kerosene.

The pay-TV channel's CEO Brian Walsh slammed reports claiming executives on the model contest were "furious" after Meares pulled out of the live decider over stage fright.

"Nothing could be further from the truth. I rang Jodhi on Friday and reiterated the fact she has our full support and apologised for the media circus it's become," Walsh told Confidential yesterday.

"We won't be discussing contracts (for next year) until next month, but I told her to go have a holiday and forget about it."

Blah blah, whatever, but what's most exciting is that at the very least, as the piece goes on to note, it looks as though big things are planned for Dawson anyway:

Walsh had good news for Dawson too, revealing the Foxtel femme had been "earmarked" to host a major new series for the network next year.

"I haven't talked to her about it yet but it has a big live component with a studio audience and I think she'd be great," Walsh said.

And, rumour (read: The Vogue Forums) has it that Dawson and Alex "Tiny Mouth" Girdwood will be muscling in on Demelza's Vogue shoot, which would be amazing and create hilarity for all.

So you see? All is well with the world.

The spectre of a sacking (and horrible nightmares featuring Charlotte Dawson beating her to an Astra Award before setting fire to her dress, leaving her waking up sweating and in tears) looms larger and larger in Jodhi Meares' mind today, no doubt, as it has been suggested that her Australia's Next Top Model finalé no-show was not the first in her career.

Confidential can reveal that the former bikini babe forced producers of Sky News Business Channel program In Business to find replacement talent after she pulled out of an appearance slated to run during Australian Fashion Week in May.

Meares, who sold her swimwear label Tigerlily to surfwear company Billabong in December, was to have been the celebrity guest interview during the half hour program before she pulled out, citing sickness.

Well, to be honest, that sounds a bit like Confidential is clutching at straws, BUT, I question whether Meares has ever been that great a host of the model franchise, live finale or no live finale. She frequently reads from notes at elimination, often seems uncomfortable, fights with the other judges in a petulant manner, and plays favourites (Steph H, Demelza) to the nth degree.

So, we'll say it again: CHARLOTTE. DAWSON.

Briefly in the last flurry of post-show Australia's Next Top Model news, Melbourne girl and second runner-up Samantha Downie, who many were surprised to see booted in favour of Demelza, has already signed to Priscillas (i.e. the agency that takes on the winner) and booked her first campaign, presumably before Demelza has even had her post-party Berocca.

From the Herald Sun:

The Melbourne Uni student emerged yesterday as the dark horse of the contest after it was revealed model agent Priscilla Leighton Clarke signed her weeks before the program ended. Downie is the face of designer Gail Elliott's brand, Little Joe.

Elliott, who befriended Cindy Crawford, knows what makes a top model.

"She told me I was her favourite, and not to worry about coming third because my career was going to go just as far," Downie cooed.

Well, just as far as what - a hurried Vogue shoot, maybe a Just Jeans catalogue, and then a spot on Where Are They Now? in ten years time? Don't sell yourself so short, Sam.

Apart from the obvious outcry over Demelza "Bully" Reveley taking out the crown, the biggest hoo haa following the Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4 finalé has been about Jodhi Meares' no show as the host of the finale.

It's a bit of a moot point, as Charlotte Dawson proved (again) that she's the better, funnier and more capable host, but really, if Meares is getting the mad bucks to be the face of Australia's Next Top Model, surely she can take some Rescue Remedy and bring herself to face a live audience?

Apparently smarting from the backlash, Meares has had a rep talk to the press, because evidently she's afraid of that, too.

"From the beginning Jodhi never agreed to do a live show of that scale," Ali Hainsworth said.

"It needs to be put out in the open because to throw something like that on someone wasn't entirely fair."

Uhh, that may be the case, but a casual viewing of either Cycles 1 and 2 of AusNTM or, like, every single Cycle of America's Next Top Model would reveal the obvious point that the grand final is always "a live show of that scale".

Those friendly folk over at the Daily Telegraph have helpfully assembled a few YouTube highlights of Jodhi's "work" at last year's grand final.

And seeing as our "C'mon Tiny Mouth" campaign for Alex to win the gong didn't go so well, we'll be doing nothing similar to try to get Dawson the hosting slot full-time next year in case we jinx her, but let it be known that I reckon Charlotte Dawson is the bomb shit.

Defamer Australia's Associate Editor is the queen of all things Australia's Next Top Model related around here. I've never seen an episode due to constantly conflicting schedules/complete and depressing lack of cable television in my life.

However, last night something strange appears to have happened. While Clem was unable to watch the finale, I managed to pop into the right house at the right time on the way home from hosting trivia and watched my first ever episode.

So here are my views on the final - bearing in mind that I am a complete ignoramus when it comes to everything to do with this show.

- Why is Jodhi Meares being employed as the host of a television show she's too frightened to actually host?

- Why did Jodhi Meares love Demelza so much?

- Is Jonathan Pease dating th winner, or what? Yes, I think the nation managed to pick up on the fact for you it's all about Demelza, Jonathan.

- Jonathan Pease versus Alex Perry = WINNER IS ALEX PERRY

- Why did the programme show clips of the infamous bullying which barely featured Demelza, and instead made it look like Alex played a role in it?! As someone who had never watched the show before, I was slightly puzzled until my friend Kerry hissed "This is all bullshit, they're trying to make Demelza look good!"

- Charlotte Dawson is quite good as a host, isn't she? Way less "I'm going to stab you, and then cry myself to sleep. YAY!" than Natalie Bassingthwaite.

- Although her right boob looked like it might go rogue at any point in that tight Alex Perry creation.

- If Alex is a nicer person, with a better figure, and someone who picked up more modeling jobs during fashion week, and an all round wiser selection for the world of international modeling than someone who is perhaps better suited to the era of mid-nineties Dolly Magazine cover girl competitions... then how the HELL did Demelza win?

- Obviously Napoloeon Perdis' taste is to be trusted rather than that of an actual Vogue editor.

All in all, I highly enjoyed the finale even though the result was confusing and plain wrong, and I look forward to having bloody Foxtel by the time next year's program starts so I never have to miss out on a thing.

Yours truly,

Your Slightly More Switched On Editor.

The infamous Vogue Forums have been ablaze (320 pages and counting!) with rants about Demelza Reveley's AusNTM win last night, with Voguettes threatening to cancel their Vogue subscriptions because of the 16-year-old's bullying behaviour during this Cycle of the show.

As was mentioned previously, Vogue Editor In Chief Kirstie Clements did not vote for Demelza - and to calm the forums down (or likely inspire exactly the opposite), she has posted an official announcement on the topic:

Part of Reveley's prize is a shoot in Vogue Australia's September issue, with the magazine under a contractual agreement with Australia's Next Top Model to feature the winner on eight pages, but don't expect the amateur model to appear on the cover like last year's winner Alice Burdeu. "Alice was such an exceptional case," Clements says. "It was clear from the very beginning that she had the makings of an international model."

BIZZAM! "Amateur model"! "Contractual agreement"! Drawing impossible comparisons with the Divine Miss Burdeu!

Demelza, you might have won on a technicality (that "general public" vote, pfft), but you just got served.