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“I Was Like… SHIT! Someone Passed Me!” – Australia, Meet Your New Hero

9:42AM Jess McGuire | It seems like only a week ago we were pumping our fists in the air and calling Stephanie Rice the greatest Facebooker Australian Olympic hero evs, but it’s time for her step aside and make way for Defamer Australia’s newest champion, silver medal winning hurdler Sally McLennan. Sally has won the hearts of a nation not only for her stunning performance on the track, but also (and more importantly) for her refreshingly honest post-race interview which featured brilliantly executed use of the word “SHIT!”, McLellan, 21, hugged and danced in celebration with bronze medallist Priscilla Lopes-Schliep on the track after the results were announced. More »

Stephanie Rice For Prime Minister! Aussie Aussie Aussie! Etc!

4:26PM Jess McGuire | At this point, my former nemesis Stephanie Rice could use her time in the pool to simply do a poo, and I for one would stick a flag in it, salute, and begin belting out “We are one, but we are maaaaaaaaaaany…” and encouraging others to follow suit. IT’S GOLD AGAIN FOR STEPHANIE! A touch over two years ago, nobody outside of swimming circles, her family and friends, and maybe those on Facebook, knew anything about Stephanie Rice. Today, among a women’s team of superstars, she is the Australian golden girl, claiming her second Olympic gold medal. More »

Elton John Loves PNAU Forever

10:41AM Clem Bastow | You’re probably aware by now that one of Defamer Australia’s collective biggest bugbears is when the local press wets itself because someone overseas has said that our actors/musicians/sportspeople are pretty good, so we can all pat ourselves on the back, having confirmed our greatness via outsourcing. However, there are times when we’re happy to wet ourselves along with the rest of our media, and today is one of those days: the boys from PNAU have picked themselves up a new fan in the form of one Reginald Kenneth Dwight! Elton John has proved to be more than a vocal champion for Sydney dance pop duo PNAU, earning his Rocket Man tag by blasting into action and signing the band to the London management company which oversees the superstar. Sir Elton hasn’t been able to stop singing PNAU’s praises since actress Toni Collette – who shares an Australian agent with the band – suggested he check them out while on tour here last December. He bought dozens of copies of their self-titled third album and has since kept in close contact, reports music editor Kathy McCabe. Back home briefly for the Splendour In The Grass festival this weekend and their own tour next week, Nick Littlemore and Peter Mayes said Sir Elton wasn’t personally managing their affairs but has been an invaluable adviser. “We talk more about art than business and hopefully introducing us to that part of London, artists like Damien Hirst, Tracey Emin and Sam Taylor-Wood,” Littlemore said. Well done, lads! May the good queen Elton smile upon your glittering careers. It seems Defamer Australia and PNAU think alike, too; when I saw the piece I thought, they should record with him – a thought that has crossed their minds as well: “The first time he called me, the only thing I wanted him to do was play some piano for us and he still hasn’t!” Littlemore said. Now now, Elton, don’t leave them hanging by the telephone! More »

Sam Sparro Takes Time Out From Sledging, Festivaling, To Work With Lindsay Lohan

9:24AM Clem Bastow | After having a go at Madonna and then getting reasonably good reviews for his Glasto performance, expat Aussie Sam Sparro has decided it’s time to make the jump to plaid: he’s going to work with Lindsay “Remember, She Had A Career Once, You Know, Before She Made Leggings With Kneepads” Lohan. No word on whether he will wear that ridiculous top hat while he’s doing it. “Working with Lindsay is an interesting proposition. I’ve always been a big fan and I think she’s cool,” said Sparro, currently riding high on the music charts with his single Black and Gold. “I’ve never met Samantha Ronson but I have met her dad and her sister Charlotte when I was working with Mark at Coachella. They are a great family. “I’ll be heading over to Los Angeles and New York in a couple of weeks to start writing for Lindsay and a few other artists. I’m really excited.” Well, there you go. Well done you, Sparro. It’s a pity his song is pretty much pants, otherwise I’d probably be more excited than I am about all this. So, er, go Aussie! ED: You know, there are times where Clem and yours truly don’t agree, and this looks like one of them. Although my beloved Bastow may hate Sam Sparro’s single, I wish to speak up and say I fucking love Black & Gold, and I am quite thrilled he’ll be working with Lindsay. CLEM YOU ARE WRONG PLEASE UPDATE YOUR OPINION x More »

Cadel Evans Just Can’t Get Enough Cuddly Lions

3:55PM Clem Bastow | So I probably lied a little bit when I said we wouldn’t run any more Tour de France news the other day, because Cadel Evans has gone and got his hands on the Yellow Jersey for another stage – rah rah, Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Etc – and, as if by magic, there’s another hilarious shot of him emotionally hugging a stuffed lion: Evidently it’s a sponsor thing, or maybe a mascot (you know, like Syd, Ollie and Dickhead from the Sydney Olympic Games), but I just want Cadel to keep winning, not so we can all dance in the streets about how Australians can be just as good as people from overseas, but because this has the potential to become the ‘Keep Up The Cats!’ of the second half of the year. More »

Fulfilling Our Quarterly ‘Aussie! Aussie! Aussie!’/Sports Coverage Quota

10:04AM Clem Bastow | Unless it pertains to Wayne Carey doing something sinister or Shane Warne sending a hilarious text message, you’ll notice that we’re not exactly sports mad here at Defamer Australia. However, at least in the case of your Associate Editor, I do make exceptions for the Tour De France, and feel it’s only right to bring you the news that local lad Cadel Evans (pictured with a special friend) has pulled on the Yellow Jersey in the famous road race. Anything else would be practically un-Australian. In other words, those of you who don’t follow cycling, go make your coffee now: Cadel Evans became the fifth Australian to claim the Tour de France leader’s yellow jersey after finishing eighth in the 10th stage in the Pyrenees won by Leonardo Piepoli (Saunier Duval), of Italy. In a spectacular display of courage after sustaining severe cuts and bruises to his left side in a high speed clash in Sunday’s ninth stage, Evans (Silence-Lotto) now leads the Tour by the smallest margin. It’s okay, it’s over now. Thus endeth (unless he wins) Defamer Australia’s official coverage of the Tour De France. Breathe, you made it. Let’s hold each other for a bit… …Wanna make out a bit, too? No, I didn’t think so. More »

Another Aussie Done Good In Hollywood

12:35PM Clem Bastow | She of the most entertainingly seemingly made-up name, Tammin Sursok, aka Dani from Home & Away, has been curiously quiet since leaving the beloved soap in a storm of Logies and “what I really want to do is sing!” press releases. Evidently the little go-getter has been pounding pavements all over Tinseltown, and it’s finally come good – she’s now all over The Young & The Restless! Sursok has signed a three-year contract to the US daytime drama, playing Colleen Carlton – a feisty glamour girl with an appetite for scandal. “I fall in love with my teacher and then I have an affair with one of the main guys,” Sursok said. Truly, in the world of soaps, this is like trading in the Volvo for a Jaguar. We hope to see Tammin at the next Daytime Emmy Awards red carpet (and are also not ashamed to admit that for years, we thought, “So what, they hold the Emmys in the daytime now? Big deal!” whenever we saw any Daytime Emmys publicity. Oh, how young and foolish we are once were.) More »