audrina partridge

Why Does MTV Still Pretend That the ‘Hills’ Girls Go to Work?

5:20AM Kyle Buchanan | A frequent viewer of The Hills once explained it to us as “Professional wrestling, but for women. You know it’s fake, but you want to keep up with the storylines anyway.” Perhaps that’s why MTV continues to ignore the actual, tabloid-documented reality of what has happened to its successful stars in favour of an increasingly more laughable alternate universe where all four women are still struggling 9-to-5ers. Today brought two more examples of their tomfoolery:

Audrina Patridge Cracking the Books For ‘Twilight’ Sequel Audition

3:42AM STV | Foreseeing a day when curtailed Hills shooting leaves her without anybody to antagonise, or maybe just catching a faint whiff of those $US12 million salaries around the corner, Audrina Patridge is angling to join the Twilight revolution. The starlet tells MTV today that, like, hell yeah she’s a fan of the vampire novels and their blockbuster movie adaptation, and she’s in for the sequels. Just as soon as she’s invited: More »

Audrina Patridge Risks Underexposure as MTV Crews Tossed From Neighbourhood

9:50AM STV | Civil war is stirring near Audrina Patridge’s plush new Hollywood Dell redoubt, where the MTV crews following her every supple, dignified move has drawn outrage from neighbours insisting that the city regulate nearby shooting on The Hills. And after hearing the residents’ appeal, the Los Angeles film office has in fact interceded to bring you less Audrina from the comfort of her own home — marking a small victory for a tormented community under siege, and possibly marking the West Coast front in America’s burgeoning Hills defensive. More »

Even Ellen’s Visual Aids Can’t Help Audrina Make Sense of Lauren’s Fling with Justin Bobby

9:00AM Kyle Buchanan | After so many seasons of shared LOLs, the relationship between Hills stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge appears to have come to an unfortunate, WTF-tinged end. Rumors are flying that Conrad betrayed her friend by hooking up with Patridge’s vacant, hirsute ex-boyfriend Justin “Bobby” Brescia, and today, Patridge took to the Ellen DeGeneres Show to further fan the flames. A clearly mystified DeGeneres tried to sort out the “who’s zooming who” particulars with the help of some visual aids, but only a Hills aficionado could make sense of a backstory so simultaneously convoluted and uneventful. Still, all the Dermalogica face cleanser in the world can’t hide Patridge’s newfound loneliness. Stay strong, auburn-haired one! [The Ellen DeGeneres Show] More »

Audrina To Stare Plaintively After Smelling Ex Justin Bobby on BFF Lauren Conrad

7:20AM Kyle Buchanan | Though Hills stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge recently patched up their fractured friendship under the warm, nurturing eye of multiple video cameras, a brand-new rumour has both girls on the outs yet again. Says E!: More »

Could the Ladies of ‘The Hills’ Be America’s Best Dance Crew?

8:00AM Kyle Buchanan | We know that the cast members of The Hills have many outside talents: Lauren Conrad is an acclaimed young adult author, Heidi Montag makes a second living as a fitness instructor, and Audrina Patridge’s blog reveals her to be a face cream connoisseur. But before last night, did we have any idea how skilled the Hills women are at cutting a rug? While watching the band White Tie Affair perform at the Roosevelt, Lauren & Co. kicked out the jams with a series of white-girl moves so fierce that they could be worked into common rotation for just about any type of song, no matter the genre. In fact, to test our theory, we tried out their moves to a very 90’s backing track that just so happens to be making a Kanye-assisted comeback. Go Lauren, go Lauren, go! [MTV] More »

Lauren Conrad Book Deal to Finally Bring Awkward Pauses, Text Messaging to the Page

2:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Though The Hills star Lauren Conrad is highly paid enough without having to do anything but passive-aggressively judge her friends over drinks at Goa, she must be applauded for finding new skills to add to her highly staged resume. First, the 22-year-old took a detour into fashion design, and now, according to People, she’s been signed to a three-book deal with HarperCollins. Heretofore limited to short stories in the vein of a Sidekicked “OMG Audrina WTF,” the deal will allow Conrad to spread her wings and write young adult fiction: More »

Did MTV Use ‘The Hills’ To Test the Whitney Spinoff Waters?

8:20AM Defamer Hollywood | For months, the rumour mill has been buzzing that Whitney Port of The Hills (she of the goofy mugging and relatively drama-free lifestyle) would be receiving her own, New York-set MTV spinoff. Last night’s Hills episode, then, seemed in many cases like a trial run for that series, as fearsome People’s Revolution flack Kelly Cutrone sent Whitney to the Big Apple to do some model castings, eventually manipulating the gangly blonde into a date with a shaggy-haired hunk. Does Whitney have what it takes to assume centre stage, or is she forever destined to play curious second fiddle to the mothership series’ Lauren Conrad? Remarkably (and with the help of videographer Molly McAleer), we were able to get our hands on a classified notes session smuggled from deep inside the bowels of MTV, and the candid reactions from execs Sheryl Rather-Wexler and Kip Finkelberg Jr. may shed some new light on Whitney’s primetime viability. Godspeed, girl. [MTV] More »