andrew bolt
And In Other News, Hell Has Frozen Over…
11:01AM Jess McGuire | Every once in a while, Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt writes something I wholeheartedly agree with. And then I feel dirty and shower. I KID! I am an adult. I can acknowledge when someone whose political ideology differs from mine has written something I think is correct.
Anyway, I’m a bit behind on my Bolt column reading because I’ve been too busy acting aloof and shrouding myself in black and all the other activities people like me who live in the Ghetto Of Hate like to do to pass the time, but Friday saw Andrew reveal he finds Baz Luhrmann’s new ads for Tourism Australia to be rather tedious and pompous, and in all honesty… oh god… this, this is actually physically hard to type… I… think… Andrew… Bolt… is… right.
It’s no-spin name spells it out: Tourism Australia is meant to sell Australia to tourists. Lots of them. But now check Tourism Australia’s new Come Walkabout ads: it’s decided instead to sell spiritual therapy to urban salvation-seekers.
These two commercials, released this week and destined for screening in 22 countries, are invitations to a church, not a holiday. And to a very exclusive, family-unfriendly church, with not even the hint this time of Lara Bingle’s famous bouncing breasts.
Sigh. Loosen up, guys.
Wait, does Andrew want Lara’s boobs to make a comeback? More » 
Andrew Bolt Floored To Learn Highly Offensive Bigots Make Up A Large Portion Of His Readership
9:44AM Jess McGuire | The Orstrahyun have penned a rather interesting piece about the response from readers of Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt’s blog to a suggestion from Andrew that allowing gay teens to take a partner of the same sex to their school formals “makes sense”.
Dingbat Andrew Bolt pretends he never knew that a fat slice of his blog’s readership are bigoted fuckwads. He posts on the decision Victorian schools to allow students to take gay partners to the formal dance, and gets bombarded with slabs of bile and disgust :
Some of the people against this idea should be ashamed of the way they express their opinions in comments below. Any young gays reading this would be horrified and intimidated by such gleeful mockery and hatred. Could the worst offenders reconsider the way they’ve expressed themselves, and post a clarification or even, dare I hope, an apology?
Yes, I’m sure there are just oodles of young, gay Australian conservatives reading Bolt’s blog everyday. You know, all those pro-war, pro-Howard, anti-gay marriage, anti-gay rights, young gay men.
The Orstrahyun then goes on to list some of the “highlights” from Andrew Bolt’s comments, which reveals – SHOCK HORROR – that many of his devotees are, in fact, complete morons (”If you are born gay then you must also be born a paedophile.” anyone?).
As strange as it feels to type the following words, we are pleased that Andrew publicly declared his disapproval, as too often on the interwebs folk are happy to allow their blog readers to make vicious and revolting comments regarding the object of the writer’s particular post, quietly sitting back and watching it all unfold whilst saying nothing – and then later if questioned about the issue, throw their hands up in the air and say “Oh, it wasn’t me saying those things, but how on earth could I possibly stop my pack of socially retarded internet bullies from making such statements? Are you suggesting I pipe up and announce this sort of behaviour is not okay? ARE YOU MAD, SIR/MADAM?”
We’re not suggesting people censor their blog comments, but if something you’ve written inspires numerous responses along the lines of “gay men like having sex with children” or “I hope someone rapes her” and you wholeheartedly disagree with the sentiments being expressed, it might – might – be worth locating another two cents in your back pocket and throwing it into the pot once more in order to clarify your personal position.
Oh god, where were we before that stupid rant? That’s right. Congratulating Andrew Bolt. This may be one of the signs of the apocalypse. More »
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9:55AM Jess McGuire | The other day (week, maybe?) we borrowed a friend’s dictpahone and marched off to a local cafe to interrogate controversial (well, while we haven’t actually checked his blog, if history is anything to go by then we’ll dare to assume her recent piece about Lollipop Ladies/Gentlemen probably riled up Andrew Bolt into a frothy metaphor-spitting fury) columnist for The Age, Ms Catherine Deveny.
FACT! Deveny is actually Catherine’s married name!
FACT! We are clearly shitting you. Feel free to LOL or ROFL in your own time at our great wit.
Anyway, we indulged in some Serious Journalism and then happily toddled off home. And realised we’d returned the dictpahone too early and in this technologically advanced era of iPods (OURS BROKE ON SATURDAY, SEND A NEW ONE IMMEDIATELY) and CD players, we don’t actually have a tape deck to listen – and thus transcribe for your reading pleasure – our no holds barred Catherine Deveny piece.
The good news is, we’ve finally wrangled back our mate’s dictaphone!
The bad news is, we haven’t transcribed it yet as we’ve been a bit under the weather!
The good news is, we’ll get onto it either this afternoon, or tomorrow.
The bad news is, we cried at an episode of Undercover Angels last night and now we want to bludgeon ourselves to death due to the shame of it all. Stupid sign language choirs and separated lovers and distant relatives and our hatefully sensitive Piscean nature…
CATHERINE DEVENY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW – YOU’RE STILL GOING DOWN. ALRIGHT? WE ARE GOING TO “BLOW” THE “LID” OFF YOUR COMMIE WAYS, AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO LAUGH ABOUT IT LATER WHILE WATCHING THE ENTIRE 7TH HEAVEN DVD BOXSET AT ANDREW BOLT’S HOUSE.
PS: We also went to Spicks and Specks the other night and will write about that too. In time. We must repair ourselves slowly, people! More »
We Will Be ‘Serious Journalists’ Quite Shortly, Swears
9:55AM Jess McGuire | The other day (week, maybe?) we borrowed a friend’s dictpahone and marched off to a local cafe to interrogate controversial (well, while we haven’t actually checked his blog, if history is anything to go by then we’ll dare to assume her recent piece about Lollipop Ladies/Gentlemen probably riled up Andrew Bolt into a frothy metaphor-spitting fury) columnist for The Age, Ms Catherine Deveny.
FACT! Deveny is actually Catherine’s married name!
FACT! We are clearly shitting you. Feel free to LOL or ROFL in your own time at our great wit.
Anyway, we indulged in some Serious Journalism and then happily toddled off home. And realised we’d returned the dictpahone too early and in this technologically advanced era of iPods (OURS BROKE ON SATURDAY, SEND A NEW ONE IMMEDIATELY) and CD players, we don’t actually have a tape deck to listen – and thus transcribe for your reading pleasure – our no holds barred Catherine Deveny piece.
The good news is, we’ve finally wrangled back our mate’s dictaphone!
The bad news is, we haven’t transcribed it yet as we’ve been a bit under the weather!
The good news is, we’ll get onto it either this afternoon, or tomorrow.
The bad news is, we cried at an episode of Undercover Angels last night and now we want to bludgeon ourselves to death due to the shame of it all. Stupid sign language choirs and separated lovers and distant relatives and our hatefully sensitive Piscean nature…
CATHERINE DEVENY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW – YOU’RE STILL GOING DOWN. ALRIGHT? WE ARE GOING TO “BLOW” THE “LID” OFF YOUR COMMIE WAYS, AND THEN WE’RE GOING TO LAUGH ABOUT IT LATER WHILE WATCHING THE ENTIRE 7TH HEAVEN DVD BOXSET AT ANDREW BOLT’S HOUSE.
PS: We also went to Spicks and Specks the other night and will write about that too. In time. We must repair ourselves slowly, people! More » Ten Says Advertisers Supportive Of Hilarious New Vomit Sex Romp ‘Californication’, Holden And Holeproof Beg To Differ
8:34AM Jess McGuire | Personally, we’ve rather enjoyed the new David Duchovny series on Ten called Californication, but then we are easily amused folk who are quite prepared to hand our heart over to anyone or anything that manages to use the term “fingerbang” in conversation.
There are however a few people who, tragically, cannot be won over by immature sexual terms, sweary banter, and the image of David Duchovny writhing around in his undies (or less) with various naked women – one of these naked women being a young lass who is best remembered as Grace Sheffield from The Nanny, although you’ll never look at her the same way now she’s happily displayed her mad cans in the name of cutting edge comedy.
Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt certainly loathed the show, labelling Ten executives Grant Blackley and Peter Falloon “pornographers” in his own thoroughly dramatic, new paragraph-happy way.
(Neither of) these two dignified men appear in any of Californication’s sex scenes.
It wasn’t them you saw on Monday getting oral sex from a nun, giving it to someone else’s wife or romping with any of the several women, who appeared pumping and moaning, buck naked, in the show’s first half-hour.
Nor was that Falloon you saw mimicking a clitoris in a vagina with his fingers, or Blackley playing a little girl, prattling about the shaven vagina he/she just saw.
It does seem appalling that Australian television would broadcast images of women “pumping and moaning” during sex, a response you begin to suspect Andrew Bolt has never quite managed to elicit from a lady friend the further down the column you read. His description of the clitoris being in the vagina leads us to believe that perhaps the show, in its attempt to enlighten through sight gags, has simply confused the conservative fellow. Still, he uses the word “vagina” not once but twice in his missive, which makes it a rollicking and traumatic enjoyable Bolt column by anyone’s standards.
Yesterday the Daily Telegraph reported that advertisers were supportive of the show, despite religious groups frothing at the mouth and declaring it the handiwork of Satan’s minions (which may not be an ill-fitting description of many Hollywood types). Alas, this blissful state of denial didn’t last long, and news emerged that two companies had pulled their advertisements after the airing of the first episode .
Holden have decided that potential Commodore owners would be unlikely to enjoy displays of random racks alongside razor-sharp dialogue. Holeproof, with their history of conservative advertising campaigns like the one where the ant eater pleasures some hot ladies with his tongue (check after the jump for a pleasant walk down YouTube’s memory lane), have decided to protect their good name by pulling the plug on their ads too.
Melinda Houston’s article about the furore sums up our feelings about the show rather nicely.
A million people aren’t watching Californication because of the naked breasts. (We’ve all seen those before.) They’re watching it because it’s funny. And because it speaks to them.
Far from being a threat to community standards, Californication (and before it, Sex and the City) pretty accurately reflect community standards. Which is to say, sex can be both fun, and funny (if you’re doing it right). Even mindless bonking can be fun, short term. But ultimately, it’s not really satisfying.
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3:48PM Jess McGuire | It would be fair to observe that Catherine Deveny isn’t all that into Channel Nine’s The Footy Show. In fact, one might even go so far as to claim she hates them with a white hot passion of a thousand suns, as the saying goes.
I have just watched three episodes of The Footy Show and I feel like Sammy Davis jnr at a Ku Klux Klan rally, like Dannii Minogue at a Mensa convention, like George Pell in 2007.
I’m not into plants but I like Gardening Australia, I’m not into quiz shows but I like The Einstein Factor, I’m not into cars but I like Top Gear, so not being into footy isn’t the reason that I’m repelled by this destructive, small-minded, morally bankrupt orgy of chauvinism. The Footy Show is a celebration of the very worst that television, sport, Australia and human beings can cook up. It’s offensive, toxic, corrosive, encouraging viewers to
So wait, you’re saying you don’t like the show, Catherine? Be clear about your feelings!
The Footy Show is nothing more than media-sanctioned misogyny. And so much less. Tune in and you’ll feel you’ve woken up in 1952. A man in a full body condom, men dressed as women, girls in bikinis, guys stuffing toilet paper down their jocks, dickheads, wankers and yobs. The few women that I did see were leered at, one called “a bitch” and another told to “get f—ed” (both by Sam Newman). I heard the word “sheilas” and could sense that the words “poofters”, “wogs”, “slopes” and “spastics” were just below the surface.
Is it the program, the network, the culture of Australian television, or just Newman that is so offensive? It’s all of them.
We’re still confused about whether or not you think Sam Newman is a great televisual talent, Ms Deveny. Please, make your case.
But Newman really needs to be singled out for his extraordinary contribution to this tragic, puerile, adolescent show that degrades the culture of football, alienates women and teaches boys that females are slaves, trophies or bitches.
…
Newman is vain, ugly, a megalomaniac, a bully. I can’t help feeling that deep inside he would be happy for women to have their brains removed and replaced with a bar fridge. He’s a dangerous bloke who’s paid a lot of money to defile our culture and undermine our intelligence in the most putrid of fashions. For any of you who have sat surrounded by people laughing at this maggot and found yourself thinking there is something wrong with you, there isn’t. There’s something wrong with him. And them.
We quite enjoy Catherine Deveny’s work, perhaps more so now that we understand Andrew Bolt directed his brilliant blogging mind toward her column’s contents back in April.
His brain has probably exploded with disgust at her latest outburst. Will her chorus of hate ever stop ringing in the ears of the nation? Will we ever see an end to the age of “group think”? What about the barbarians at the gate, and the beacons of truth, and Horatio at the bridge etc?
(insert other Bolt cliches here) More »
Catherine Deveny Unlikely To Recieve A Christmas Card From Sam Newman
3:48PM Jess McGuire | It would be fair to observe that Catherine Deveny isn’t all that into Channel Nine’s The Footy Show. In fact, one might even go so far as to claim she hates them with a white hot passion of a thousand suns, as the saying goes.
I have just watched three episodes of The Footy Show and I feel like Sammy Davis jnr at a Ku Klux Klan rally, like Dannii Minogue at a Mensa convention, like George Pell in 2007.
I’m not into plants but I like Gardening Australia, I’m not into quiz shows but I like The Einstein Factor, I’m not into cars but I like Top Gear, so not being into footy isn’t the reason that I’m repelled by this destructive, small-minded, morally bankrupt orgy of chauvinism. The Footy Show is a celebration of the very worst that television, sport, Australia and human beings can cook up. It’s offensive, toxic, corrosive, encouraging viewers to
So wait, you’re saying you don’t like the show, Catherine? Be clear about your feelings!
The Footy Show is nothing more than media-sanctioned misogyny. And so much less. Tune in and you’ll feel you’ve woken up in 1952. A man in a full body condom, men dressed as women, girls in bikinis, guys stuffing toilet paper down their jocks, dickheads, wankers and yobs. The few women that I did see were leered at, one called “a bitch” and another told to “get f—ed” (both by Sam Newman). I heard the word “sheilas” and could sense that the words “poofters”, “wogs”, “slopes” and “spastics” were just below the surface.
Is it the program, the network, the culture of Australian television, or just Newman that is so offensive? It’s all of them.
We’re still confused about whether or not you think Sam Newman is a great televisual talent, Ms Deveny. Please, make your case.
But Newman really needs to be singled out for his extraordinary contribution to this tragic, puerile, adolescent show that degrades the culture of football, alienates women and teaches boys that females are slaves, trophies or bitches.
…
Newman is vain, ugly, a megalomaniac, a bully. I can’t help feeling that deep inside he would be happy for women to have their brains removed and replaced with a bar fridge. He’s a dangerous bloke who’s paid a lot of money to defile our culture and undermine our intelligence in the most putrid of fashions. For any of you who have sat surrounded by people laughing at this maggot and found yourself thinking there is something wrong with you, there isn’t. There’s something wrong with him. And them.
We quite enjoy Catherine Deveny’s work, perhaps more so now that we understand Andrew Bolt directed his brilliant blogging mind toward her column’s contents back in April.
His brain has probably exploded with disgust at her latest outburst. Will her chorus of hate ever stop ringing in the ears of the nation? Will we ever see an end to the age of “group think”? What about the barbarians at the gate, and the beacons of truth, and Horatio at the bridge etc?
(insert other Bolt cliches here) More » 