adoption

Katie Holmes Starts Unholy War Of The Adoptive Mothers

12:00PM Clem Bastow | Everyone’s favourite ScientoLOLogy sacrificial virgin celebrity mommy Katie Holmes is doing all she can to ruin Our Nic’s Christmas season. If it wasn’t enough that “Kate” has been skiing and jetting around the world with Tom and getting in everyone’s faces about their amaaaazing love life, now she’s making a move on Nicole’s adopted children, Isabella and Conor. Is there no end to the smugness of this fashionable haircut-wearing bint? “His first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom’,” she revealed. The news is bound to come as a blow to Kidman, who recently moaned that 14-year-old Isabella and 12-year-old Connor only call her Nicole. She told GMTV: “My kids don’t call me mommy, they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it.” She added: “When children are teenagers, they have a say in where they want to be. Los Angeles is a big draw, and I’m looking to get a place there so we can share more.” “Kate”, get your hand off it. Seriously. Like, it’s great that you have a good relationship with your new(ish) stepchildren, but really; was that necessary? We’re inclined to think there’s a time and a place for this, and it’s “while on the phone to your own mother”, not “in an internationally-available magazine”. She’ll be laughing on the other side of her button nose when she has to call Xenu “daddy”! More »

Hold Your Horses, Kylie Does Not Want Aboriginal Baby After All

9:20AM Clem Bastow | Remember way back when this story about Kylie Minogue looking to adopt an “Aboriginal baby” surfaced? Well, wouldn’t you know, turns out they were probably mostly rubbish. We’re as shocked as you that the News Of The World allowed such a flimsy story to run, but we guess we all have to grow up sometime. Minogue, 39, who has successfully resumed her pop career after beating breast cancer, told Madison magazine’s January edition she believed the incorrect reports of her adoption plans originated with the United Kingdom’s News of the World. “There’s so much noise and waffle about me and my future family,” she told the magazine, which is on sale tomorrow. “But if asked if I’d like to have a family I say, yes, I would love to some day. “We’ll see if and how that might happen.” Is anyone actually that surprised? News Of The World’s last story on Our Kyles involved her being the head of a cosmic cult planning a mass suicide in time for the next visit of the Hale-Bopp Comet, whose massed shares in Kool Aid and Tickle Me Elmo Inc. gave them away to a canny stock watcher. Or, you know, maybe it was something about her hairdo; we forget so often these days! More »

Saint Geldof Still A Sinner In The Eyes Of The Hutchence Clan

11:57AM Clem Bastow | The sad story of little Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily continues, with another Hutchence family member sounding off about their niece/granddaughter/distant relative’s life with Bob Geldof. Hutchence’s sister Tina, speaking to New Idea on the eve of the ten-year anniversary of Michael’s death, reckons Geldof is keen to legally adopt Tiger Lily and change her name to Geldof. The Hutchence family has received a letter from Geldof’s lawyers informing them of his intention to change Tiger Lily’s name, Tina Hutchence said. “In seven years, he’s given my mother just four days of supervised visits,” she said. “None of the rest of us have seen Tiger, only my mother, and that was with the nanny. “And the interesting thing is Bob Geldof is patron of a charity called Grandparents Apart – a charity for grandparents who don’t get to see their grandchildren.” You know, if the Hutchences hadn’t shown themselves to be money-grubbing whingers throughout the past ten years (that eBay auction springs to mind) then we might be inclined to side with them. However, since Sir Bob seems to be doing a reasonably good job of caring for Tiger, we can’t help but see this as just another publicity grab – one thing that, like him or not (his endlessly snowballing charity gigs notwithstanding), Sir Bob does well to avoid. If Tiger was “returned” to the Hutchences we get the feeling she’d be featuring in an RSL-touring jazz ballet spectacular faster than you could say “Bindi Irwin”. More »

Letting The Headline Do The Talking: Kylie Minogue Edition

11:42AM Clem Bastow | You know, here at Defamer Australia, we pride ourselves on our ability to bash out witty headlines, day in, day out. However, sometimes a story comes along that says, “I see your witty headlines and I laugh in the face of them.” Such a story ran today in The Sun. To wit: Now, don’t worry, Kylie hasn’t subscribed to scurrilous rumours that suggest drinking the blood of indigenous babies will cure wrinkles; instead, it seems she’s caught a case of the Angelinas after cancer treatment left her wondering if adoption was the way to go. It goes without saying that, coming courtesy of the News Of The World originally, this story probably has about as much truth to it as a Quarter Pounder With Cheese has value to vegans. Still, a lil’ Aussie entertainment gossip site can dream, can’t we? More »

Angelina Jolie Still Coming To Terms With Decision To Reproduce Biologically

5:27AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s been far too long since orphan-addicted baby-collector Angelina Jolie has opened up about her complicated feelings on biological childbirth, a selfish practice that invariably disrupts the colour-coordinated harmony of any painstakingly racially balanced brood. But Jolie is once again ready to defend her still-controversial decision to use her uterus instead of a Third World nation’s adoption system to add to her family last year, this time to Reader’s Digest: “Before I met Brad, I always said I was happy never to have a child biologically. He told me he hadn’t given up that thought. Then, a few months after Z came home, I saw Brad with her and Mad, and I realised how much he loved him, that a biological child would not in any way be a threat. So I said, ‘I want to try.’ ” More »