adaptations

Let The Wild Rumpus Start: Michelle Williams Comforted By Spike Jonze’s Quirky Touch

3:59AM Seth | She may be unable to share with her child’s father the spoils of his critically spoojed-upon turn in what is well on its way towards becoming the highest-grossing movie of all time ($14 billion on Tuesday alone!), but all is not dark for Michelle Williams. The actress has reportedly found comfort in the arms of Torrance Community Dance Group captain Spike Jonze. The Daily Mail has been keeping a respectful distance from their blossoming love: More »

Morning Show Team Stunned Silent By ‘Bachelorette’ DeAnna Pappas’s Astonishing Dumbness

5:45AM Seth | At long last, The Bachelorette—that epic, six-week-long search for eternal love in which inarticulate Mediterranean beauty DeAnna Pappas is made to choose a suitable lifemate from a man-harem of 25—reaches its chilling conclusion tonight on ABC. Stopping by the GMA studios to show off her sparkly new hardware for a visibly envious Chris Cuomo, Pappas explained the difficult-to-grasp concept of having to choose between “two totally different people. You got one guy on one hand, and another guy on another hand, and I’m two totally different people with each guy.” This suggests that Pappas is the relationship equivalent of tofu, her spongy personality absorbing the flavors of any man with which she comes in contact. Somewhere, Brad Womack is breathing a sigh of relief that he ditched this chick at the Fantasy Proposal Gazebo, and chose instead to hold out for some hot, Serbian supermodel ass like his tire-fortune-heir predecessor. More »

First Look At ‘The Smurfs’ Makes Us Hope For PG-13 Rating, No Disneyfication

10:03AM Defamer Hollywood | Even before we knew what “smokin’ somethin’” meant, we knew that the creators of The Smurfs were smokin’ a little somethin’ somethin’. After all, anyone who would create a world inhabited by little blue men who spoke in a a trippy language and lived in magic mushrooms had to be one of those “Mary Jane smokin’ hippies” that our parents always warned us about. So after seeing some stills from the upcoming Smurfs movie, we’re enthralled to see that the French animators who are making the film sure seem to be smokin’ somethin’ too. Seems as though this adaptation will finally tell the tale the way it was meant to be told: darkly. More »