This year's Australian Idol final two are a counfounding pair. You'd have to be blind and deaf not to get that Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci are excellent performers and good looking enough to shift records, it's just that they're so... boring.

Dicko said it, everyone has been thinking it, and now the final two themselves have more or less confirmed it by giving the most boring interviews possible in the lead up to the big bash at the Opera House on Sunday.

That's the nature of Idol. It's a plunge into the deep end without floaties.

"People see our family, see where we live, see our bedrooms. I'm sure we haven't seen Beyonce's bedroom or Missy Higgins' bedroom," Gauci says.

There was also controversy over the singers' religious beliefs, with speculation Corby's church, Assemblies Of God, allegedly encouraged its congregation to vote for him.

Both Corby and Gauci are adamant that people's religious beliefs should be allowed to be kept private.

"What we believe is up to us," Corby says on the subject. "It's not Religious Idol."

Offers Gauci: "It's one thing to judge you for your singing, another thing to judge you for your religion."

Guys, what is this? Australia's Next Top Diplomat? You're want to be the Australian Idol, not Miss Congeniality!

In fact, we thought we'd never say it, but we're starting to miss Tarisai.

Come back you crazy bitch, all is forgiven!

As if we even need to draw your attention to it, The Industry is already wetting itself over Matt Corby's career opportunities post-Idol, whether or not he wins (though the latter option is about as likely as Tarisai winning the Nobel Peace Prize for diplomacy).

Evidently the job offers are coming thick and fast, starting with a seasonal engagement that will have The Naitch going green with envy.

The budding pop prince is set to star as a headline act alongside the cream of the Australian music industry at the Carols in the Domain event on December 22.

Organisers of the popular Christmas show have already discussed Corby's appearance with Caplice Management - the talent agency who gets first rights to managing the series winner - irrespective of whether he becomes the Australian Idol on Sunday or not.

"I can't confirm he has been booked but I can definitely say we have spoken to David Caplice about Matt,'' Carols in the Domain producer Shauna Kane told Confidential yesterday.

"He's extremely talented and has shown that consistently.''

We know we haven't exactly been glowing in our praise of this year's Idol crop, but - despite the whole Assemblies Of God kerfuffle - there is something remotely exciting about the possibility of Corby's winning the title; let's face it, he's the closest thing to an actual pop star the show has uncovered in its history (and no, Courtney Act doesn't count).

Think about it: apart from his vocal similarities to Marcia's good personal friend daughter Deni Hines, he's got the voice, the looks, a reasonably likable personality (when he's not sooking about the judges) and - apparently - can write his own songs, and they apparently don't suck.

No wonder the industry is collectively creaming its pants!

Just days after Ian "Dicko" Dickson "accidentally" let slip that he thought this year's Australian Idol final two were "beautiful but boring", the pair have used their Sunday night spotlight to get their own back.

Matt Corby has had a go at the judge and mentor, while Natalie Gauci chose to employ The Power Of Music™ to get her point across (which incidentally left her looking loopy and over-emotional instead of focused and intense; the latter was presumably the effect she was going for, but we could be wrong).

When presenters showed concern for the singer after a subdued performance of his second song, Jamie Cullum's hit Dry, the 17-year-old turned the tables with a snappy aside of his own, with the quip: "I feel sorry for Dicko. He must be bored out of his mind."

Melbourne finalist, Natalie Gauci got a dig in of her own, perhaps, belting out current top 10 hit, Apologise by One Republic, and the Kate Bush classic Running Up That Hill with its key lyrics "So much hate for the ones we love. Tell me we both matter don't we?" taking on special meaning.

All this doesn't really matter, of course, because as we've learned every Idol year before this, it doesn't actually matter how good the Final Two are - because the winner's single is always, without fail, total and utter pants.

Maybe Dicko was talking about the song?

Remember at the beginning of this year's Australian Idol finals, Andrew G and James Mathison announced, steely faced, that they had a surprise for the Final 12 - that only one finalist would be signed to Sony BMG this year, the winner?

And all the finalists looked a bit miffed that their chance at Ricki Lee/Anthony Callea/Young Divas/Shannon Noll-esque runner-up success had been dashed upon the rocks of big business?

Now it seems it was just a ruse, with word that Sony BMG are already wording up third-place-getter Carl Riseley in the hope of giving the nu-swing trumpeter a deal.

The navy trumpeter told Confidential he was expecting to meet with label executives who had approached him "straight after the verdict'' when he was voted off the starmaker show on Monday night.

While publicists for both Idol and Sony/BMG were keen to play down the secret session, Riseley said he was buoyed by the prospect, after hitting a bum note and missing out on a final two spot.

"(Sony/BMG) have been really supportive and embraced the idea of Australia having its own jazz guy,'' Riseley told Confidential yesterday.

Australia's former "own jazz guy", James Morrison, was seen furiously voting for Matt and Natalie at his local Telstra dealership.

In any case, it's probably a good thing Carl looks set to be signed, because if his MySpace activity is anything to go by, it looks as though - like Mark Da Costa - this whole business has really hit him hard.

He's gonna BLOW her TRUMPET, and he's TOTALLY JAZZED to do so! Etc, etc.

Trumpeter and (ex?) sailor Carl Risely was the last to be kicked off Australian Idol prior to the grand final, leaving Natalie Gauci and Matt Corby in the final two.

Oddly enough, considering most would've assumed Matt Corby to be most popular, Gauci - "the Gauch", according to an unusually excitable Marcia - was the first to be declared safe, meaning she'd garnered the most points.

Andrew G was naturally quick to rain on that particular parade, maintaining that there was 4% between "first" and "second".

We'll miss Carl's warbling (and wish they'd let him be more Chet Baker-esque and have his trumpet with him all the time, as those performances - It's Not Unusual in particular - were always miles above the rest) but it was probably his time to go some weeks ago, let alone last night.

Tips for the finale? We're stumped, actually! "The Gauch" has pulled off quite an impressive Cosima (without the 'nodgews') in the final dash, and Corby isn't as popular as he once was, so we'll just hope for one thing: that the stylists don't fuck up the female finalist's wardrobe choices for this year's Opera House gig.

It's not much to ask.

In a show of resilience as confounding as Australian Idol has seen since the weird old days of Hayley Jensen, laidback™ surfer dude® Marty Simpson has finally been vamoosed from the talent quest.

Sadly for Marty, viewers didn't warm to his awkward brand of "big band" style (his Light My Fire was like Jack Johnson subjecting Jose Feliciano to slow and agonising water torture) and he becomes this year's fourth-place-getter.

We're now firmly "on the road to the Opera House" and, failing a Cosima De Vito style shock exit, we're putting our tips on a Carl and Natalie finale, as it's entirely possible that Matt Corby will a) wear another women's nightie or b) choose another obscure song that will freak out the little girls and fall by the wayside.

However, we will not be placing any actual bets because, as we all know, Idol is nothing if not bitterly disappointing year after year unpredictable.

The latest Australian Idol casualty is pocket rocket Tarisai Vushe, who admittedly showed less "rocket" and far less "(in the) pocket" with each week of the reality talent quest.

What started as a powerhouse voice with a beguiling personality ended up a karaoke-night warbler with the personality of a donut - her trademark quiet "thank you" apparently the killer for all involved, including the normally ever-lovin' Marcia - a predicament that led to Mark and Dicko calling her "fake", only to feel a bit of emotional power from Vushe, even if it was off-stage.

Unfortunately for her, the emotional outburst didn't happen during her cover of The Veronicas' When It All Falls Apart, and so she leaves in fifth place.

Incidentally, we remain perplexed as to exactly who is voting for Marty Simpson; could this year's finale be another repeat of the Damien Leith/Kate De Araugo variety?

The contestant most confusingly praised by the judges, Ben McKenzie, has been given his Idol marching orders.

McKenzie, a theatrical NSW teen fond of zombie movies and Imogen Heap, did pretty much the same thing week after week, and continued to make the judges wet themselves (except perhaps Mark, who loves Matt Corby long time).

Apparently this was a "shock" eviction along the lines of Ricki-Lee, but really, anything Ben would've ended up releasing - if his love of Heap, Gary Jules and Brook Fraser is anything to go by - would've probably made Emmy Rossum's debut look like Black Sabbath.

As much as we like to lovingly poke fun at her seemingly endless supply of Peter Pan-collared kaftans and slightly confusing commentary, Australian Idol wouldn't be the same without Marcia Hines.

So, we were more than a little alarmed to read that the talent quest - which shows no signs of being left to die with dignity despite this year's complete lack of personality - could be set to become an all-male zone, at least as far as the judging panel is concerned. Marcia's cracked the shits!

Tensions between the four-person judging panel boiled over on air during Sunday night's show, when the diva turned on Mark Holden and Ian 'Dicko' Dickson in defence of contestant Ben McKenzie.

Hines was dubbed 'Thumper' by Dicko after her animated spray, during which she declared she had the "shits" with Holden, pounding the desk to make her point.

Read More »

Australian Idol's producers have dismissed the growing hysteria about "Christian" voting blocs, which have been said to be affecting the 'fairness' of the talent quest.

Today Tonight et al were all in a tizz about "Hillsong" (which is the new codeword for pentecostal Christians, presumably) members stacking the votes to get "Christians" Matt Corby, Tarisai Vushe, Ben McKenzie and Daniel Mifsud to the Opera House. Idol executive producer Stephen Tate has wisely put paid to the accusations.

"I don't think it is different to any other group that may be supporting somebody," he said. "Nobody was kicking up when the whole of Condobolin was running lamington drives for Shannon Noll a few years ago."

Of course, he's right. What is the difference, after all, other than that one group of voters subscribe to one of the faiths that it is currently fashionable to be openly critical about?

We won't be happy until TT does an angry expose on the lamingon-making nannas of regional Australia that are giving an unfair advantage to this country's farming country rock singers.

There has been much chatter about the presence of "Hillsong" parishioners in this year's Australian Idol; well, "Hillsong" joins "illegals" and "Africans" as one of those handy right-leaning current affairs buzz words, since there are no Hillsongers in Idol this year.

There are, however, a handful of Assemblies of God members (Matt Corby, Tarisai Vushe, Daniel Mifsud and Ben McKenzie), and Idol fans are evidently concerned that their churches are engaged in massed voting.

SM of Sydney is worried about the influence of AOG churches on TV shows beamed to homes of people not interested in the church.

"I feel sorry for the poor fools forking out their hard earned to remain members of this organisation," SM said.

Marg of Sydney called for greater voting transparency. "It's a shame Idol is being abused this way. Voting blocs are an in-built problem with a show of this nature."

"Voting blocs" have always been an Idol issue, however; Laura Gissara and her dad's Telstra phone room and Guy Sebastian's Hillsong connections are two that spring to mind.

Honestly, though, isn't the point of a viewer-voted talent quest, well, to get the most votes? What's the difference between a church-full of Christians and a suburb full of family and friends?

Our "favourite" Idol was given the boot last night; it was sayonara to Jacob Butler's sweat-tinged upper lip and breathless versions of the hits of the UK recording industry as the Melbourne singer became the latest Idol reject. (We also like the fact that that News Ltd headline, "Jacob Loses Australian Idol Fight" makes him sound like a plucky cancer sufferer in a midday movie.)

His "rousing" parting rendition of The Beatles' Let It Be (complete with "Everybody out of your seats" moment) was a perfect crystallisation of all the reasons why we're happy to see the back of him (but wouldn't actually be happy to see the back of him, eh, eh).

In fact, if they can somehow manage to shuffle Marty off next week, the Final Six could actually make us enthused about following the journey to the Opera House with more than the passing curiosity we have currently, the interest levels of which are about on par with "Hmm, there's a black mark on the carpet, wonder how that got there?"