Vale Defamer Australia (2007 – 2011)

Friends, readers, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Defamer Australia, not to praise it. Which is my daft way of telling you that after four and a bit long, fun, interesting, blissfully idiotic years it’s time to say goodbye to this little pop culture loving corner of the web.

That’s right, this is THE LAST POST.

“I THINK YOU’LL FIND I’M THE LAST POST.”

Hush, trumpet. Let me have my moment.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right. We were in the middle of a tearful goodbye, yeah? God, to tell you the truth I am really finding it hard to put into words how I’m feeling right now. I’m kinda sad to say farewell to something that has been such an important part of my life for so long, but I’m also extremely excited about having a break from writing for a while.

As some of you may know, I began doing breakfast radio in October last year, and the early mornings have really taken their toll on the part of my brain that used to find it ridiculously easy to string a vaguely coherent sentence together. Closing the door on my beloved Defamer Australia wasn’t an easy decision to make and it’s something I tried to put off even considering for a long time, but something had to give. The exhaustion induced writers block I’ve been battling for the last few months helped make my decision for me.

THAT SAID! It might be the end of Defamer Australia, but while I cannot tell you too much just now, there’s something pretty exciting around the corner that will certainly fill your pop culture void – keep an eye on my Twitter page or the Jess McGuire Tumblr page I created last night because I am a bit of dickhead (a dickhead available for weddings/parties/anything!) for an announcement in the next couple of months. Just let me squeeze in a brain holiday, and then we’ll get back to business.

LET’S BREAK FOR A SONG!

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR HOST, JESS MCGUIRE.

Before I call it a day, there are a few people I need to thank.

First and foremost, Defamer Australia’s publisher Chris Janz from Allure Media. This dude tracked me down when I was absolutely struggling to make ends meet, and gave me my dream job. He’s been the most supportive boss I could’ve hoped for, and I cannot thank him enough for everything he’s done for me.

To the Allure Media staff – I didn’t really get a chance to know many of you personally “IRL” as you’re all based in Sydney and I’m a bum working from assorted cafes in Melbourne most of the time, but I know you’re responsible for making the site look good/sorting out advertising so we make some goddamn money from this thing/filling out my paysheet on my behalf because I am a total doofus when it comes to paperwork/everything else, and I thank you for all your efforts over the years.

Clem Bastow was Defamer Australia’s Associate Editor during a year when I had what could best be described as a complete emotional breakdown, and to be perfectly frank, I think she single-handedly kept this site going while I struggled to find anything funny to say about the news because I was too busy gazing at my navel and feeling sorry for myself. And when I stopped being a miserable shithead she STILL came back from time to time to cover for me when I was away/sick and we needed someone to write stuff for the site. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Clem.

To everyone who got in touch via email over the years – I was TERRIBLE at replying because I get a bit shy about that stuff (no, seriously) but please know that every cheery note you sent, every snippet of constructive criticism, every link to a YouTube video, EVERYTHING – ALL OF IT! – meant the world to me, and I really appreciated the fact you made an effort to reach out. Thank you!

Oh god, oh god, I feel like I’m running out of time WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO MENTION BEFORE I GO?! I FEEL A LOT OF PRESSURE RIGHT NOW!

Okay, okay, so for those of you playing at home, here’s where we’re at:

1. Defamer Australia is no more! This is it! THIS IS IT! (cries)
2. Heaps of people deserve thanks because they are awesome.
3. I am going to miss you.
4. But stay tuned because there are a couple of ace things happening in the near future.
5. And I’ll still be on the radio every day.
6. And freelancing around the place.
7. Did I mention that I am going to miss you? Because I really, genuinely am.

Thanks for being a part of this, dear reader. It has truly been an honour and a privilege.

Yours humbly,

Jessica Anne McGuire

PS: I leave you with these inspiring words from RuPaul – I think it perfectly sums up the spirit of Defamer Australia.

“My goal is to always come from a place of love …but sometimes you just have to break it down for a motherfucker.”