Angelina’s Evil Plot To Steal Another Man From Aniston

Angelina seeks the “coup de grace” of Aniston life-destroying. Blake Lively moves in with Leo DiCaprio. Lil’ Bow Wow has a secret daughter. Elisabetta Canalis bounces back from George. Thursday gossip is a stone-cold assassin of hearts.

• It’s not enough to make her babies cry. No, Angelina wants to make Jennifer Aniston cry, again, forever, by pursuing Jen’s new man Justin Theroux for an “upcoming project“. Remember, that’s how she met Brad! “Stealing one man from Jen was bad enough, but stealing two would be the coup de grace.” And even then, she’d still need one more broken home to win the Triple Crown of Aniston life-destroying.

  For a visual on how the ordeal would play out, here is a stony-faced Jolie gritting her teeth at bowling alley in Malta, surrounded by weeping blondes. Sidenote: Celebrities bowl in Malta? I thought they were only allowed to access the island nation’s diamond-encrusted spas. [HollywoodLife, images via Getty and INF]

• Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio are “living together”. Like, all-your-stuff-in-one-house, no-alternate-lease, if-you-break-up-you’re-homeless living together? Or, just-kinda-sleeping-together-a-lot living together? [LimeLife]

• Bow Wow – formerly Lil’ Bow Wow, age 24, embarrassed son and drunk driver of Lamborghinis – announced on his website that he has a daughter: “Never been a fan of posting pix of my daughter. Reason is because i want my boo boo to have everything i didnt. Want her to be able to cheerlead with her lil friends with out some asshole sticking his camera all in my lil girl face.” He wants sole custody, but “the bs that comes with having a baby momma is expected.” Lest there be any doubt about this child’s conception, BowWow paired the announcement with a video about fucking groupies: “Shit is too easy, man. You won’t believe, can’t imagine, what girls will do to get backstage, get back to the hotel.” [Us, BowWowToday]

• “Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell aren’t too Hollywood for the Hamptons jitney.” Once you’ve had your penis bitten off in 3D, you stop taking yourself so seriously. [P6]
• A post-Clooney Elisabetta Canalis hung out with an ex-boyfriend on a yacht. Does something look, um, new in this picture? [People, image via Splash]
• Dianna Agron made out with her new boyfriend, Black Swan actor Sebastian Stan, in public. Somewhere, Dianna’s “psycho” ex-boyfriend Alex Pettyfer – who, rumour has it, once attacked Stan for getting close to Dianna – is punching through a wall. [P6]
• Speaking of Glee stars in love, Chord Overstreet and Emma Roberts have taken their romance “public”, i.e. walked down the street in the general vicinity of one another. [Us]
• Keri Russell is reportedly pregnant with her second child, and “hiding her blossoming bump”. The blooming onion of wombs. [HollyBaby]
• Kiefer Sutherland broke up with his girlfriend of three years, Allure style director Siobhan Bonnouvrier. [Us]