These People Really Need To Get Stoned
It’s still April 20 in the States. Because the stoner lexicon refers to reefer as “420″, the date’s become synonymous with celebrating the high life. Instead of posting a list of stars who already smoke up, here are a bunch of people who should.
Why: God, this guy is just so serious! Lighten up, man. You’re a celebrity, not the Mayor of Stodgytown. Then there’s that terrible rage, especially toward the paparazzi. A few tokes will take care of that. Also, with all his gallivanting to do good in New Orleans and Haiti, he could probably use something to take the edge off.
Method: A good, old-fashioned pipe.
Why: With her notoriously uptight demeanour and reports of insomnia, the domestic goodness needs something to help her unwind and put her to sleep. Also, just imagine the yummy goodness of Martha’s Munchies sold at 7-Elevens everywhere.
Method: Pot brownies. We hear she got Snoop’s recipe.
The Jonas Brothers
Why: They’re Christian, they’re celibate (except the married one), and they need to rebel a little bit. What better way to open up their minds to new possibilities and shake the shackles of their parents than by indulging in a little Mary Jane. Also, it’s good for bonding and might help them relax enough to score some tail.
Method: A pipe jury-rigged out of tinfoil and screen.
Why: Dude, our colleagues giving you your phone back! Chill.
Method: A bong made out of an apple.
Why: She is always bitching and moaning about something. Her co-stars are homophobic, her character on Grey’s Anatomy sucks, she wants out of her contract. Shut up! A little green and a lot of giggles will do her some good.
Method: Doesn’t the Volcanoneed a spokesperson?
The Supreme Court
Why: If ever a group of old people needed to loosen up, it’s them. They’re always telling people who can and can’t be heard in the court and messing up important rulings about who should be president. Then they go and write passive aggressive briefs telling each other how wrong they all are. Let’s get them all baked. They won’t care about being stuffy after their courtroom sees a little puffy puffy.
Why: The only thing funnier than cool old ladies? Cool old ladies stoned.
Method: A joint, just like Bea used to smoke.
Why: This sexxxy single cat lady and New York Post columnist hates just about everything. Maybe her disposition would be a little sunnier if she had some cannabis inside her. Maybe her cool new demeanour thanks to THC will find her some TLC from the right lady person. Then she can write about how much she loves the world and everyone in it. Wouldn’t that just brighten your morning commute?
Method: A home-made gravity bong.