Winehouse Is One Bottle Of Hair Bleach Away From ‘Forgettable’

Amy Winehouse’s self-destruction takes an unexpected turn into bimboland. LaToya Jackson has a new shot at fame. Tila Tequila takes aim at Megan Fox. Jai ho, Monday gossip.

• Of all the destructive fates to befall Amy Winehouse, “forgettable” wasn’t one I saw coming. But now that she’s packing Posh Spice silicone and Snooki skin – and, are those new lips? – Wino is one blonde dye job away from Jessica Simpson territory. This is bizarre. After a recording studio session, Amy went out with 14-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, who had lighter skin than Amy, despite being black. [fig.1] Also, she fell down, and looked like a little old lady. [fig.2] [DailyMail]
• Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler read lines together at the Golden Globes, so obviously they are in love. It has to do with “awkward body language”, but since Popeater fails to consult a body language expert, I’m not sure we can trust this. [Popeater]
• After recent sloshed award show appearances, Mariah Carey’s reputation precedes her, and Mo’nique took it upon herself to tell Mariah to stay away from booze until after their category was announced. Mimi obeyed. [NBN second item]
• And if you crave still more Golden Globes: HuffPo’s entertainment vertical overfloweth. Speaking of which, my personal favourite: “Golden Globes Breast Dressed: Who Wore Cleavage Best? (PHOTOS)” Haus of Arianna knows breast. [HuffPo]
• La Toya Jackson wants Simon Cowell’s American Idol seat, and though she’s always been my favourite non-Michael member of the family, I fear she isn’t mean enough. What they really need is Joe Jackson. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods will return to the green this spring with a spot on the PGA tour, says Radar, which is sticking with the Mississippi sex rehab story. Rehab must be going well if he’s already planning a comeback? [Radar]
• Taylor Momsen has no boyfriend. Which sounds about right since she’s, what, 14 going on 45? [P6]
• Daily Dispatch from Annals of Tila: A new blog post calling Casey Johnson vibrator victim Jasmine Lennard a criminal and “EWWWW STD BITCH” prompts Lennard to laugh maniacally about how she’s going to hunt Tila down and sue her silly. (Moments later, Jasmine tweleted.) Tila discusses various weapons it is illegal for her to own (and acknowledge her “baby daddy”!) and aims some rant love at “Suck Cock Megan Fox”, whom she would like to Taser. During the gun talk, she acknowledges her “baby daddy”. [fig.3] Meanwhile, “lesbian Don Juan” and ex-girlfriend to both Casey and Tila, Courtenay Semel, has an E! interview coming up, but don’t worry about missing it, because they’ll tweet a thousand tinyURLs to web versions, anyway. [TilaBlog] [TilaTwitter] [JasmineTwitter]

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