Are You Sufficiently Exploiting Your Child’s Looks, For Money?

Raising a child in our modern world can be expensive, what with their constant nagging for new “Gameboys” and “contraception”. Fortunately your child’s dewy, youthful innocence can be sold off to a modelling agency, for sweet, sweet money.

Horrible parents across America are selling off their children’s looks to make a few extra bucks during these tough economic times, according to the WSJ. They see them other girls doing it on the teevee show and them girls aren’t even as purty as Caitlin, gah.

Natacha Andrews recently signed up her 4-year-old daughter, Anaya, with a modelling agency. Anaya says she wants to be “like Tyra”-that is, model-turned-media-personality Tyra Banks.

Her mother, a 36-year-old Phoenix attorney, has another motivation. “I know people who successfully saved money this way,” she says

I know a dude who said he made all this money stuffing envelopes at home, too. Get the f—k out of here. I wanted to be a fireman when I was four, but my parents didn’t buy me a f—king fire truck.

Carol Stevenson, a public-relations consultant, signed her three kids up with Peak Models & Talent because she wanted them to start saving for college.

Your special model child will look just fine shovelling driveways this winter for five dollars, and later, applying for a job at McDonald’s. All you parents are way psycho.