Why Sarah Palin Needs Levi Johnston

@Fancy Pants:

Well, since you strongly believe ...

@IamnotStarJones:

I couldn't give a rat's ass what happens to Sarah Palin but I'm worried about Levi cause he's plain dumb and easy manipulated.

Levi reminds me of Joe Buck (from Midnight Cowboy) just trying to make his way in the world and getting screwed by all the Ratsos out there.

I can understand the appeal of this, but purely as spectacle. Choosing SIDES is just goddamn embarrassin. The republican party should have paid him upfront and in cash for his part in the charade. Sarah Palin was NEVER going to be vice-president, much less president. Thank Katie Couric for that! No matter what anybody says. You hear me? Katie effing Couric.

CarlinaZeikfried

@Fancy Pants: Sarah Palin is wholly responsible for Levi being in the spotlight. Graydon Carter didn't tell her to say yes to McCain when she knew her daughter was knocked up.

Unless you know something I don't....

Collins begins her argument with: "Given the fact that Johnston is a 19-year-old high school dropout whose mother was arrested last year on six felony drug counts, it is conceivable that he is not the perfect arbiter of normal families." No, Gail, that would make him a qualified arbiter of bad parenting.

sparky

Now that we know they both had the same endeavor in mind (i.e., pseudo-stardom via professional, paid appearances) it feels like more of a rivalry for the spotlight than anything else, and I'd have to say, Levi is winning hands down.

The Universe really does take care of the simple people. There's no need to worry about this kid--he's got it made no matter what.

He's a not-very-bright, opportunistic burgeoning gay icon who is making the most of his very limited shelf life.

She's a street-smart bad girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

Together, they solve crimes!

@Fancy Pants: Sarah Palin wouldn't look like a victim if she tripped on a moose turd and got her tits stuck in the permafrost.

Nice writing, Brian. Seriously good work. Put "Kato Kaelin with a hunting license" on a tee shirt.

@bowel_and_the_obstructors:

I was personally assigned by Mr. LaRouche to earn my credentials spreading conspiracy theories on Gawker...then once I'm ready I'm moving on up to the Huffington Post and Mother Jones.

@Fancy Pants: A LaRouche fan? On Gawker? Shouldn't you be off spreading conspiracy theories at nursing homes and town halls?

@dado: Stop feeding the Johnston fire, which is already flaming out of control.

@Brian Moylan: nicely put

once

I strongly believe that the efforts of Graydon Carter at Vanity Fair (and other liberal media) to use Levi Johnston to smear Sarah Palin is going to bite them in their bony asses because it makes Sarah look like the victim. This is total overkill. (And I say this as a diehard Lyndon LaRouche Democrat.)

He kinda looks like a Matt Damon Ben Affleck love child.

Maybe PT Anderson or GVS could make a biopic out of this. Now THAT I would see.

At least he cleared up that awful acne issue he had when he was trotted out to the Teen Choice Awards. Or, maybe VF just photoshopped it out.

FarleyPapus

@CarolynKay: Clearly this comment was delayed by a year due to a sever error, because if you're trying to bring up THAT hackneyed, baseless point today, you're a moron.

noonecaresowen

Yah, I'm thinking Levi isn't so much of a dim bulb, he's actually rather astute. He's figuring out how to maximize his 15 minutes, balancing the cheesy with the semi-interesting. That, I think, could take some people a good while to learn. Hell, even Palin can't seem to finesse the media the same way this oily bohunk has seemed to. Impressive. He may burn out quickly, but the thing that's seemed to keep him alive so far, is doing the rather unpredictable. Other than the natural cheese of Playgirl, I await his next thing...an essay in the New Yorker, a guest spot on the new Melrose Place (that's going to be awful), riding motorcycles with Clooney, Top Chef judge....you just don't know. You just don't know.

Or VH1 is currently working on, Flavor of My Baby Daddy's Bastard Hockey Stick.

Spirit Fingers

@CarolynKay: Which is frightening if you think about it. People voted twice for a woman who can't string a coherent sentence together on any subject other than hunting. Of course people also voted for Bush twice, which proved to be the worst administration in US history.
I'm sorry, what was your point again?

secretagentman

What in holy hell did they do to Palin's NECK in that picture?? Why is it so tiny?

MissPeacock

@iplaudius: More fuel, more fuel! What do you have against fun?

@reluctantwhore: You just don't understand what the term means then. If it is primarily gay people who remain interested in him and are responsible for his spotlight, then he's a "gay icon". That's obviously not where he is just now, but Gawker's just predicting/hoping that's where he'll end up. He was Kathy Griffin's date, and who other than the gays would ever give a shit about that?

Sarah Palin was a mayor and then a governor with administrative responsibilities before she was picked as a vice presidential candidate.

Obama had only been a senator for a couple of years--MY senator--before he started running for President full time. He never held an administrative position.

CarolynKay

@CarolynKay: Are you fucking serious? I would LOVE to hear you explain yourself. If not, nice troll.

@CarolynKay: And this is apropo of what exactly?

GregnATL

Sarah and Levi are two sides of the same coin. Both saw the chance to get out of Wasilla and took it.

heywhat

"people are already hating America's babydaddy and rooting for Sarah Palin"

Further proof that I am not really people.

I had the chance to drive through Wasilla recently on my way to Denali. I would hop on any chance to get out too.

Cheruth

If Sarah Palin was not qualified to be Vice President, then Barack Obama was even LESS qualified to be President, which he's showing us every single day.

CarolynKay

I'm telling you, man, he's the new Andy. Oh, sure, there's no evidence that he can draw, paint, silk-screen, or any of that. But he's a very Andy-like celeb with the cynical nonchalance and whatnot.

Thomas Lord

@bowel_and_the_obstructors:

Or at least hanging around in front of the post office.

Jupiter8

Both Levi and Palin are annoying, and I'm still not convinced it's not a joint conspiracy between the two to keep Palin in the public eye. Bad publicity is still publicity, and being attacked by a 19 year old high school drop out will only further endear their beloved Sarah to her fawning entourage.

@Brian Moylan: Oh, shoot. For a moment, I thought you meant baby pink Juicy Couture yoga pants.

Fascinating article. Now where's the centerfold.....

@God: Well then I'm glad you weren't the rat who squeezed under my kitchen door because he had a rather unfortunate encounter with my three rottweilers.

@Fancy Pants: That was meeee! I like to take the form of small rodents and conduct home invasions occasionally. I like getting a first-hand, behind the scenes look at how the little people live.

@lalaland13: seriously. I get almost weepy when I think of that pretty girl and her child.

And who is raising the baby with Down Syndrome? Piper and Willow? I shudder to think of that household. Chef Boy-ar-dee, diapers and guns.

Who's minding the store?

Banjo-Sea Kitten

@gawkimo:

Very bony and flexible too. There was a small crack in the back door of my weekend house in the Litchfield Hills and I saw a rat squeeze itself right through that crack and into my kitchen!

@Fancy Pants: I said good day!

@gawkimo: I've seen Graydon's ass at the Equinox Gym on Greenwich Avenue. He's got himself a cauliflower ass. Not pretty.

@Wrapitup: I like a girl with a bony ass cause you can get a nice tight grip when you go to work on her. But a plump ass is nice too cause its like making love to a down pillow.

I agree with most of this, but I think if anyone should be allowed to be a fame-whore, it would be Bristol, since she has a lot more of a connection to Sarah than does Levi. But that won't happen, as she has to stay home and take care of the baby. I feel sorry for her and the kid more than anyone else. She comes from a nutso family, but can't escape because of the baby.

@Fancy Pants: Are rat's asses bony?

gawkimo

@Fancy Pants: That's total bullshit. Graydon Carter does not have a bony ass.

gawkimo

@Fancy Pants: How dare you say the liberal media has bony asses? The liberal media has beautiful plump bubble-butts, thankyouverymuch. Good day to you, sir!

@Weegee's bored: Thanks. I'm wearing mine right now!

Brian Moylan

@Weegee's bored: I concur. Good job, Bri.

You may emblazon The "Conservative Succubus" Must Die on the ass of my baby pink Juicy Couture yoga pants.

p.s. Levi is way cuter than Kato Kaelin.

Banjo-Sea Kitten

I really think the term "gay icon" is thrown about in general more than it should be. I seriously doubt Levi Johnston is a gay icon or ever will be. Sex symbol maybe but gay icon? He isn't gay, he's not doing anything particularly important for gay people besides giving them masturbation fodder and in fact, I would bet he is more than likely under the impression that Playgirl is read exclusively by women.

Don't get me wrong, I think he's kind of adorable now but gay icon? I don't think so.

When are these people going away? Somebody let me know when they're gone, 'kay?

Cleopatra

@Better to Eat You With: You mean like Cheney? Both try to do their dirty tricks off-stage. But when they open their mouths, they show themselves.

@reluctantwhore: Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen, Brian.

@pilf: It was going to come out eventually. Unless she planned to become VP without actually talking out loud.

@BBooms: I think you're grossly underestimating the cultural implications of @BookishLookish's lady-crush. Women also enjoy attractive men from time to time -- or so Kathy Griffin tells me.

@CarlinaZeikfried: Couric was just the second one to expose Palin-branded stoopid (after Charlie Gibson) and it played longer in the media because it was seen as fairer (woman interviewing woman), was fairer ("What newspapers do you read?" trick question) and showed CBS that Couric could actually earn what they're paying her.

But Palin continued to show us, after any number of interviews, that the only way she can look smart is by donning glasses (are they just for looks?)—Katie effing Couric or not.

@Spirit Fingers: did you see him on Larry King with Kathy Griffin? Darling. He was so low-key and shy, but he got the joke and worked quite well with KG.

I would love to follow this lamb as he emerges from Wasilla backwardness to Big City tolerance and awareness. (I'm not saying that everyone in Wasilla is a dummy either...).

Banjo-Sea Kitten

@no I said no I won't no: Only on Sundays....

Brian Moylan

Hopefully this will hurt this woman enough to just go away.

THAT'S ENOUGH, SARAH PALIN.

@CarolynKay: But he speaks English so well. Isn't it nice to see someone in charge of the country who can read and write on their own?

And he can think of more than just White Christian interests. I mean, I figure if someone's going to be my representative, they should probably represent me.

I don't see any backlash on Levi Johnston at all. As a matter of fact he is getting more popular in blog write ups. This writer seems a bit out of touch.

Don Servillas

I would like to call upon the good people of America (not you Canada, you sit down) to call to our dear Lord and Savior President for the removal of Alaska as a state. In fact, how about we leverage a little and give it to Canada? Those Alaskan folk already kinda talk funny like those people up north anyway.

@sparky: AND normal parenting, sadly.

Sullygulliver

@Thomas Lord: Dick?

Sullygulliver

@noonecaresowen: CK has no friends. No, seriously, check it out if you don't believe. Total troll.

Sullygulliver

@pilf: Some happy part of me can't remember what Cheney's voice sounds like, as a result.