Welcome To Paparazzi University

Cameraphone-toting fans are apparently ruining the lives of university football stars. Campus jocks can hardly booze it up at parties or enjoy young women spontaneously removing their shirts for them without the moment ending up on Facebook. So awful.

“Being the big man on campus no longer means being the life of the party,” the New York Times reports, citing the case of poor Florida quarterback Tim Tebow (pictured), who has had “four or five” women try to strip off their tops while posing for digital photos with him. Tebow runs, but can he hide?

Apparently not, as mobile phones are now collected even at uni parties, according to the Times, as a precautionary step to protect athletes against embarrassing pictures on Twitter or Facebook. In a country that’s increasingly inept at manufacturing anything other than narcissistic, “reality” based media products, it’s probably for the best that uni students are learning the skills they’ll need to eventually sell out their boss or idol online. As for the “victims”, the athletes, it’s good training for them too. Unless their ultimate goal is to play football for modest wages in lifetime obscurity? Didn’t think so.